Unlearning The Muteness......

Of Growing Up and... MLIC!

2012-01-08T19:37:00.003+05:30

There are days when you want to do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just eat, sleep and repeat the routine. I thought I was the only one suffering from the most extreme bout of lethargy, when my friend, Ajay came with a theory to my rescue. A theory called - 'The Mid Life Inertia Crisis (MLIC)'. Mid life crisis because you're stuck at the crossroads between not wanting to grow up and having to grow up. A time when everything changes. The only good thing that comes out of it is that you start loving and respecting your parents more than ever (yeah, but that still doesn't reduce the number of altercations you have with your Mom over your 'training period' in the kitchen). That was about Mid Life. Actually, I was arguing that it should be Mid Mid Life because, well, you're just a little over 20, so Mid Life sounds really OLD! But then, Ajay argued saying that looking at our current lifestyles we'd be lucky to get to the other side of 40. True. And the Inertia bit in the theory was the lethargy of being comfortable in our current lives to that extent that we don't want any change to pull us out of so-called-comfort zone (e.g: marriage!)

I don't know how many of you actually got the theory. If you didn't, let me know, I'll get you in touch with Ajay.... he's looking for more bakras to validate his theory!

Just before writing this post, I was feeling so lazy that I thought I'd sleep it out, but some brainwave asked me to listen to songs from Wake Up Sid. And I did. After YouTubing the video for Boondon ke moti, all I wanted to do was open my laptop and write! There's something in that song that just livens you up! And yeah... the added benefit of seeing Ranbir getting wet in a white shirt! (oh damn! I sound so lecherous!) I so miss raving about Ranbir to my friends....something I haven't done in years. You have to watch Raajneeti to see how evil and scheming can be hot. You have to watch Rocket Singh to see how honesty can be cute. You have to watch Wake Up Sid to know how rich, spoilt brat-ness can be endearing!

None of the current bunch of actors come even close to him in terms of acting or even looks! The one who comes close to his name...Ranveer Singh... is just an irritatingly cheap wannabe copy of Shah Rukh Khan. What he doesn't understand is that to be cute by being tongue in cheek, you need to have a quick wit and not the desperation to grab a co-star/rumored-to-be-girlfriend's ass on national TV!

Something that happens along with growing up is the increase of impatience! I just saw 5 secs of a song from that Ricky Bahl movie and spewed venom on that poor Ranveer Singh!

One more thing that changes with age is the definition of love. Or maybe it's just coming of age. Love, I think becomes a tad boring as you grow up. Or maybe we just realize that it isn't exactly a fairy tale world out here! Love isn't what SRK showed in his movies.... it's about that effortlessness in writing about it which isn't there anymore. It's more than love these days. It's not wild anymore.... there's no drama in love....because the talk about 'responsibility' takes it all away! Or maybe it's just me.... I'm so used to having so much of drama in my life that the complete absence of it makes me....impatient and annoyingly lethargic! My life may not have drama, but the best thing about being a writer is that you can add drama in others' lives! I'm planning to restart writing the story that I had left mid-way almost 2 years back! Hope I don't let the laziness come between the laptop and me!

Ah! I don't know what I have written. Just wrote the first things that came to my mind! Hope you liked it:) And you know what makes the MLIC more depressing... the rational fact that the world ain't ending in 2012!

Happy new year, BTW!

Of Growing up and... well...just growing up!

2011-12-17T22:52:00.000+05:30

Yeah yeah I know it's been a freakishly long time since I last blogged. I don't know... in the beginning, I wasn't in the mood to write anything, and then later on, there was nothing I wanted to write on. Actually, there was lots I wanted to write on, but then, when you know your audience, you choose to not write everything that you actually, really want to write about! Maybe, it's time for an anonymous blog now!

Of late I've been stuck up in the I-don't-wanna-grow-up phase. Staying young, in college was fun. Life was a fully paid vacation. There were no deadlines, no presentations to make. A time when you had lots of time for your family, friends and more importantly ...lots of time for yourself. Now, all you get for self pity are blink-and-you'll-miss-them weekends!

Anyways, one thing that I hate the most about not being a student anymore is the fact that now you're considered as a prey whose wedding is where everyone wants to feast! I mean, I know, I've always been of the mujhe toh bachpan se hi shaadi karne ka shaukh hain but then, now, I have grown up and all of my bachpan ke shaukh have worn off (only for the fact that marriage is only going to make growing up look more serious and yeah .... the mountain of responsibilities on your head... a semi paid vacation at your parents' place is really what you should look at mazimising!)Yeah, so digressions apart, here is a piece of conversation that I was subjected to 47 times last Sunday at a social gathering. Oh yes, I almost forgot the most important thing that changes in your life after you're done with your education - the compulsion to attend social functions which you have very well avoided until now citing reasons like -

"I have my test series going on" - when you're in your 10th.
"I have journals to complete/I have early morning practicals" - when you're a poor hassled science student
"I have presentations to make" - when you're an even more hassled MBA student

And you made excuses to stay back home and enjoy watching TV with no one to disturb you! But now, there are very few excuses that you can make -

"I have a bad headache"
"My stomach's hurting" (and being a girl, you can ALWAYS get away with this one!Hehaw!)
(This is the season's favourite) "Oh damn! I so wanted to come...but this friend of mine is getting engaged/married today"

See, this is one more downside of growing up - you have an attention span of a butterfly! I was supposed to share with you the conversation I had 47 times the other day. It goes like....

Me : (visibly forced to mingle around) Hello, how are you?

Aunt: (visible excited at the sight of a new bakra) I'm good. How about you? So which CLASS are you studying in?

Me: (visibly irritated at still being thought of as a school kid ...even at 23!) I'm done with my studies...I'm an MBA now... and have been working for almost a year now!

Aunt: (visibly more excited at the possibility of another wedding to attend) That's nice! So now it's time for your marriage!

Me: (visibly irritated with having the same conversation for one of the 47 times!) Haha! Let's see!

So, my point is why is marriage the next destination after studies? That's the entire problem with our society. We just don't want our children to breathe. There's always another destination to go to. Another train to catch, another job to take, another assignment to finish. Why can't we just stand back and enjoy where we are today? It's more peaceful and satisfying that ways. I know, marriage is inevitable and like all girls, I too have been dreaming of my Prince Charming and my wedding since I was gifted my first Barbie, but right now, I want to have some time for myself, because like everyone my age, I'm too damned confused about what I want in life! A simple example would be expecting an answer to the question - what is the kind of a guy that you want? It looks simple, but it's not a simple question to answer. You're confused about which are the qualities that you REALLY want and which are the ones that you can let go of. And it's a tough call to take.

I'm sure this post must be a real shocker to all those who know me well and are very well aware of my 'sabki shaadi ho rahi hain, meri shaadi kab hogi' cries! But then, like they say, people grow up and I'm trying to maintain pace with my growing age!

Another reason why you don't want to grow up is because you know there's another generation behind you who's faster and smarter than you are and the fact that though you're only 5 years elder to them, they consider you to be from another generation. I was in for a shock when my 18 year old cousin made that very clear to me when she actually said that I'm from another generation because I couldn't fathom the meaning of a couple of words that are commonplace for today's JC students! And the fact that all my younger cousins laugh at my lack of knowledge of technology and still having a high end phone is a sever blow to the ego! What they don't understand is that, self pity aside, weekends is all the time you have and sleeping then is what you would love to do the most! Guess, I will have to wait for them to come on this end of the line to know what it's like being called belonging to a different generation!

P.S - Marriage woes aside, now, I'm scared of what my kids, who's have a good 25-30 years age gap with me think about me....If 5 years is another generation, 30 years would be Stone Age!

Strong reason for not getting married!!

Of Growing Up And... Complicated Thoughts

2011-09-05T00:18:00.000+05:30

Habits, they say is an acquiredpattern of behavior that often occurs automatically. And addiction arises fromhabit due to a habit forming substance. So, where does love fall? Is it ahabit, as it an aberration of your normal behavior sort of acquired over aperiod of time? Or is it an addiction, resulting from a very serious habit ofthe person one loves? What really is love? It just can’t be a mere feeling.Love, I believe, is more potent to be called a ‘feeling’. Love makes you wantto do crazy things…even sing songs atop the Alps in miniskirts and thin chiffonsarees to wanting to kill someone. Love makes you forget reason. Just likeaddiction does. So does that mean that love is an addiction? But, then, noteveryone does the aforementioned things while in love? So does that mean theylove their partners any less? Or is it that they are plain sane (and boring!)Maybe for them, love is just a habit which hasn’t reached the addiction level. Oris it that love is something totally different and I’m thinking too much intoit.

When we talk about habits, I feelthere are many things besides love that can be habits. Like people for example.There are some people, who become habits. Friends, crushes, family… So whathappens when the one to whom you are habituated to moves on in life, while youare at the same place?
And then because you have to also show that you have grown up, there’s ego thatplays a very important part. So, what would win…habit or ego? Both are equallystrong and equally hollow. Would reasonhave a role to play in the fight? Would it be a referee declaring who’s thewinner or would it be a third side in the already existing tug-of-war betweenego and habit and complicating the situation further? Someone I know told me,that the only thing stronger than ego is reason. But what if the ego doesn’t letthe reason to sound reasonable enough? What would happen to habit then?

What about lust? Is it a habit oran addiction? Or just very intense love? Then what is obsession? Is luststronger or reason? Does this reason stem from logic or from preset beliefs? Thenthis takes us to a totally unchartered dimension… what’s stronger….reason orbeliefs? But what if beliefs are wrong and so strong that you can’t see reason…at a level wherein beliefs become faith? What if our faith is wrong? Would itstill be called faith? But then when we are doubting the basic premise thatdifferentiates hope from faith, how can it still be called faith? It would thenbe hope or a belief. What is it that drives terrorists to kill people? Is ithope, faith or belief?

Or is it that all the abovequestions that I raised were totally subjective? Maybe they were or maybe theywere not. If they were not, someone is gonna have faith issues!

P.S – I was not high on weedwhile writing this post.

P.P.S – Some habits arebeautiful. Ms. Aanchal Bhugra, you were my most beautiful habit. My blog missesyou… and so do I. Stop being a kanjus marwadi and start commenting like anextravagant Punju!!

Of Growing Up and....More

2011-09-02T01:08:00.001+05:30

Life, of late has been stuck in neutral gear. Neither going ahead nor going behind. While the future, for sure is scary to think about, the past is no less scarier. I mean, you've been there done that, and you never want to go back to it and go through the grind again. Growing up, they say is all about moving on in life and making do with all the changes, adjustments and compromises that come along with it. Growing up isn't just about adding candles to your birthday cakes but still being the same stupid, nautankibaaz drama queen with your friends even at 50 and two kids. Some may say it is stupid, one must behave as per age, but I disagree. If I met a friend when I was 18 and I still have him/her as one of the top 10 dialled numbers, it is a great achievement in itself. then why should I, at 22, behave 22 with them? Why can't I still be friggin' 18 with them! Being 22 with people I meet at 22 is enough! Why do we have to act all 'grown up' with people who've seen us at our stupidest best? For some people, we should just freeze time. There are hardly people left in this category for whom we would want to do that anyways. Phew! off my chest. Had this conversation with one of my best friends after I saw Zindagi Milegi Na Dobara with him and thought it would make for an interesting point on the blog...for whoever get it!

When you're the oldest of all the cousins in your family, you're in a position where you're stuck. You just don't know whom to hang out with! Because it would be rather weird laughing on adult jokes in front of parents, aunts and uncles. And it is equally weird laughing on similar jokes with your cousins, who you think are underage for this stuff! But the good thing about having finished your education while you have cousins still struggling through primary school to get to the secondary section is you can crack flippant jokes on how many years of toiling is still left ahead of them! But then, your smart genes are shared with your cousins, and you have a smart add 10 year old remind you of how you'll be 34 when he'd be 22, which is SCARY in bold, underline and font size 44! He's the same smarty pants who was talking about bullion trade until two years back, and now, he quotes The Wall Street Journal and knows exactly how and why US' credit rating took a hit. He's also already made 900$ in stocks. And he's just 10! I don't know how this kid is gonna turn up when he'll be 22. Damn! I'll be 34 at that time :(

Growing up also gifts you with a lot of stuff you never wanted or asked for. Ego, for example. It was so much easier, going to your Mom, hugging and telling her how right she was when she asked you not to eat kachi Maggi because you'd get an upset tummy later, but you disobeyed and went ahead only to actually get an upset tummy. But, somehow, you just can't do that anymore. I am not sure if it's ego, but there's definitely something there that makes you a little hesitant. I thought it was just me, but it came as a relief when almost all my girl-friends concurred with me. You're at that stage of your life where everything that your Mom told you all through your teenage years is coming true, but you still can't go and admit this to her. I'm sure, I'll be going and telling my Mom how right she was and how wrong I have been only when I have a daughter who thinks I'm always wrong! I remember, when I was 16 and my Mom asked me about the kind of a guy I would want for myself, and I replied without batting an eyelid, "I want a guy who speaks English that's better than mine, he should be smart, funny and he should be romantic like how SRK is" (Don't laugh, I was 16 then!) and my Mom said, "What else?", and I replied, "That's it". And my mom laughed. When I asked her the reason behind it, she said, I'll ask the same question to you when you'll be 22 and you'll get your answer. And, I am 22, and I got my answer! But this time, when she asked me about the guy I want, I didn't reply, even though I know exactly what kind of a guy I want for myself, I told her, "I want someone who would never cheat one me and would come back home to me and only me, someone who would give me security, both financial and emotional, who makes more money than me, not because I want to spend his money, but because I don't want to go back home to ego fights and someone who would always respect and love the Nupur Bhayani in me even after the change in my name...because Nupur Bhayani is what I am." To this, my Mom asked, "What happened to your English clause?" and I laughed and told her,"I'm not 16 anymore and I'm over SRK!" It's just amusing how our choices and preferences change with time. This is the kind of a guy I want at 22, maybe at 29, I would want something totally different and what if I am stuck with the person I wanted at 22? What would happen then? This is the scary part that I don't like!!!

A lot of girls want to marry a guy like their fathers. But I never was one of them, because I wanted each and every person in my life to be unique. But, at 22, I realize that the kind of a guy I want for myself is so much like my own father! Fathers are the world's most selfless of all people. I mean they all know what kind of beeps men are, still, they have the faith to give their daughter to one of their kind!! I happened to pay my sister's college fees for this year and I realized how expensive education is only when it showed on my bank statements. And I even threatened my sister with dire consequences if she doesn't top her college or doesn't have anything less than 100% attendance! This was the moment wherein you realize how selflessly your parents gave in to each and every demand and wish of yours without saying anything. Even when you wanted to buy an exorbitantly priced mobile phone with your own money, you get it as a gift!!! My Dad has two daughters and never for once did he have any regrets about it (except when he was teaching driving to us!), and now, I also want a guy who would treat our daughter the same way and not in any way try to blame me for it. If he does that, I still have kept all my biology and Genetics tomes with me, to throw on his head and ask him to read it!

But the best part of growing up is when your sister, who since a couple of years has been plotting and hatching schemes of what she would do when you get married and she gets the room to herself, gets a job outside Mumbai and would probably move out before you get married!!! The joy on my face is priceless these days when I tease my sister about how little time she has. Although her job, if she takes it up wouldn't start until one more year, making someone anticipate pain and misery is actually sometimes pleasurable!!

Right when you started falling in love, all over again, with your family, it is time to leave them!!

I wanted to post this one on the 1st of September, but the clock has ticked and it's the 2nd today. The first day of my MBA college was on the 1st of Sept. 2009 and it was 1st of Sept. 2011 today... I mean yesterday! My stint at my MBA college was nothing less than a roller coaster ride with twists and turns straight out of a Bollywood movie! It was in these two years, that I realized who I truly am. I realized who are the people who would love this narcissist, egoist, egotist, nautanki drama queen to death come what may! These 2 years also reinstated my faith in karma. Karma is a bitch and what goes around, comes right back. When I joined, I hated my college and the people but then, I fell in love and life was like a poetry in motion and I suddenly liked everything that I disliked earlier. The second part of my MBA stint went in dealing the major breach of trust and a heartbreak and again, hating everyone for looking at me as the villain and not as the victim, which I actually was! I have stayed alone, friendless for a month and I realized how important are friends are in one's life. Then I met the three people- Taranjit, Taher and Sohail, whom I would always be indebted for. They were the only one, who not only listened to my side of the story, but also picked me up whenever I fell. They say, you should always hold close to yourself the friends who are with you when you're going through bad times. And I think, for the people who befriend you without knowing what's going on with you and then taking it up on themselves to take you out of it, should be worshiped!! There was a time when I had decided that I didn't want to go back and finish my MBA because the place and the people haunted me. But when on the last day of college, the Director of the institute asked 600 students to give me a round of applause for doing a great job while in college, all I could think of was how life comes a full circle in less than a year. I remember crying that night, silently, because my patience had paid off. When I had decided to come back to finish my MBA, I had decided that I would make people remember me as Nupur Bhayani and not someone who was associated with someone else. And when today, when people from my batch and even people from the junior batch refer to me as 'The Questionnaire girl' I know, my purpose was served. I was left for another girl and that killed my confidence and ego. And it was a tough fight regaining the confidence in myself. I would like to thank each and everyone who stood in line for hours to have me look at their questionnaires to suggest changes to get it approved. This helped me big time to get my confidence back in myself. You have helped me more than I have helped you with your questionnaires. And for the people, whom I couldn't help... I apologize. To all my RMI 2009-2011 batchmates, Happy 2nd year Anniversary! In 2009, I hated you and the college, and in 2011, you and the college have become an inseparable part of my life. I love you and I love my college for the person it made me grow into. And yes, thank you for putting up with my massive feminist bout!

I had stopped writing after I fell in love to fuel my guy's ego. And ever since, I have tried a lot, but haven't been able to write like the way I used to earlier. I used to write unabashedly what came to my mind and didn't give two hoots to what people would think about it. After a good two good years, I have written something straight from my heart and something that's very personal. And, I now, don't give two,three, four....n hoots to what people have to think about me!

Haven't proof read to keep the raw essence alive in the post. Please excuse the errors!

Of Growing Up and ... Friends

2011-07-25T23:05:00.003+05:30

I don't know what it is...is it our psychology or is it basic human greed to always find grass on the other side of the court greener. When I was in college, I wanted to grow up sooner and get out of college. And this was particularly worse in the last two semesters of my MBA course where I was just waiting for November and I wouldn't have to go to college any more (It's July, and I still have to go to college, courtesy my Sem 4 project....don't even get me started on it). And now, after almost 6 months of having starting to work, I envy the college kids with their pink BB phones I see in trains. Those, indeed, were lovely days. A time when life was a wonderfully well paid vacation. Ah, I so envy those days when my Dad would buy me a laptop and I wouldn't have to spend my salary on buying one!! And yes, there's an entire conundrum about how to file your income tax returns! Never knew growing up could suck so much!

When we were in school, I had friends whose head count ran in two digit numbers. After school got over, that number diminished, yet the two digit figure somehow sustained itself by random college friends, classes friends, friends of friends, friends of friends' boyfriends and so on.With the advent of Orkut and Facebook, the two digit number went to a good three digit number. I have some 400 odd friends on Facebook and I haven't spoken to 380 odd of them in years! And I don't see myself speaking to them in the future too. And these were all 'good' friends of mine at some point. Yes, I am very selective about whom I add!! You read my Wanna Make Fraandship series right! And I don't know why I don't talk to them anymore. What has happened that most of them have stopped resonating with me.

I am known to have a lot of bestfriends. Right now, I have 6 of them. They were 11 until two years back. And even of the 6 BFFs I have today, I see 2 of them slowly slipping away. Other 2 of these 6 are guys, so at some point either I will move apart from their lives or they'll move apart depending on who gets married first! So, I'll be left with only 2 then. So, in sum, out of 440, I'll be down to 2 friends!! And that's a scary picture to envisage! Sometimes, the only reason why you want to stop time is to maintain the status quo you have with your friends and preserve it in time.

Like a typical teenager, I never listened to my Mom and she ended up giving me a lot of 'Talk to me when you're my age' looks and I gave her the 'Whatever' looks. And she told me, that this would happen, that one day everyone will get busy with their own lives and you'll be left to deal with yours on your own, and I refuted her claims by saying that I'll always have people. And I feel like going and telling my Mom how right she had always been. I know people grow up, they start working, get in and out of relationships, have new bosses and mothers-in-law and exes and exes of current to deal with and they get only a weekend for the same and then asking the same person to take some time out for you, is a little unfair. I also would want to finish my quota of sleep before I dash to meet my friends! But, there are some people without whom you just can't do and life is at its best when the people for whom you feel so, also feel the same for you and actually go out of their way to keep you a part of their lives. I'm glad, that I have 6 such friends.I hope I have these 6 for as long as I can. And of these 6, there's one who's posted in a tribal area of Maharashtra and he still finds network enough to call me once a week. Who wants a boyfriend, when you have a few friends who take so many pains to just talk to you!

P.S 1 : I still wouldn't mind a boyfriend...any rich, single, handsome, intelligent Gujju reading this, please feel free to contact me!

P.S 2 : Posting for the first time from my new laptop...yeah the one I paid for myself....and it feels great!

P.S. 3: Growing up isn't about getting over Twilight and Harry Potter. Growing up is about maintaining your BFFs come bosses, exes and mothers-in-law!!

P.S. 4: Again, for the first time, I'm posting something that I've not read again, not proof read, not checked for spelling/grammar errors. I've written whatever my fingers typed. And I don't care of its shitty. After a real long time, I don't care about what people have to say about me or about what I write!

P.S 5: I'm not drunk! This post is just an after effect of being sick of calling up many numbers to 'Waiting Active'!

The 'Mumbai Spirit' - A Short Story - Part I

2011-07-16T02:19:00.003+05:30

Part I

26^th Nov 2007

“Where are we going?”, I asked Abeer. We got engaged 7 months back, after seeing each other for 5 years. We were going to get married in another 20 days. “When can I open my blindfold?” I asked him, fidgeting with the blindfold over my eyes”

“In some time. Just stop fidgeting and stay still”, he said, as he held my hand and led me somewhere.

“Why can’t you just tell me what my surprise is? Why all this? But what is my surprise, tell me no”, I said. It was our 5^th anniversary.

“If you’re going to keep on asking such irrelevant and redundant questions even after marriage, then I have some serious rethinking to do”

“How is asking what my surprise gift is on my anniversary an irrelevant question?”, I argued back

“Aaaarooohiii…the only way I can shut you up is this…..” he stopped, lifted me in his arms, kissed me on the lips and started walking again.

After a while, he stopped and put me down. Then it seemed like he was opening a door with some keys. He got me in. All this while I was wondering where on Earth he had got me in the name of our 5^th Anniversary celebration. He opened my blindfold and I after a couple of moments of disorientation, I realised we were in his living room standing by a table with a real big, fat candle which was lit in an otherwise completely dark room.

“This is your gift”, he said with the widest smile he could manage.

“A candle?”, I asked, perplexed, flustered and angry. I was blindfolded to be given a candle!

“No! This is your gift….” He said, taking my right hand in his and started walking around the table ahead of me. “I promise to always provide for you….”, he said, looking directly into my eyes. It was then when I realised what my actual surprise was!

“Your wish would be my command”, he said, taking a second round. When he saw my eyes sparkle, he added, “Only the reasonable and affordable ones!”

“I promise to be with you in sickness and in health”, he said, taking a third round

“I promise to always be faithful and loyal to you”, we took the fourth round

“I will always be supportive of you, in whatever you do” we took the fifth round

“I will be with you till death do us part”, we took the sixth round

“And when death comes, it will have to go through me to get to you” and with that we finished taking seven rounds of the table.

“No, death will have to go through me to get to you”,I said with tears in my eyes.

“Shut up. These were my vows, so my wish” he said. “Anyways, there’s more. I take you, Aarohi Sharma as my lawfully wedded wife. Do you take me as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Obviously I do!!!!”, I shouted excitedly.

“Can the groom kiss the bride now?”

“We’re married now!!! You don’t need to ask for permission anymore”, I winked.

“Not that I used to ask for it earlier also, but still”, he said and we kissed for the first time as man and wife.

And that day, my love for him multiplied manifolds. I remember, after we got engaged when our parents sat down to finalise a date for our wedding, I wanted it to happen on 26^th Nov, which is our anniversary day but we couldn’t find a decent place to get married as all of them were booked, so the fixed date was 16^th December. But, looking at my dejected face, Abeer had promised that we would get married on 26^th Nov and we did!! I had completely forgotten about it, but he hadn’t.

26^th Nov 2008

It was our first wedding anniversary (between us, we always maintained that we got married on the 26^th and not on the 16^th) and he was already an hour late. I was sitting alone at Wasabi at theTaj Mahal Palace playing with my phone and waiting for him to turn up before the waiters threw me out for not ordering. He came running towards the table where I was sitting, looking gorgeous in his white shirt worn over faded blue jeans. Men shouldn’t wear this combination…it isn’t easy to stay angry for long if you find the other person irresistibly hot! He bent over and kissed me on the forehead, hoping to placate me.

“Sorry baby”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”, I frowned. Well, faked it.

“I got late because I was hunting for this for you”, he said showing me a complete Twilight series in his hand. I wanted to smile really badly, but I controlled.

“I’m over Twilight”, I showed him some attitude

“Then, this will help you fall in love again”, he said handing me the book series.

“Fall in love with whom? Edward Cullen?”, I said teasingly.

“I know you’re a one-man woman…and I’m your man! That blood sucking vampire can wait”

“You should consider yourself to be a very lucky guy…. Your wife just can’t stay angry for long”, I said.

“That’s because of my pure genius sweetheart!”

“Whatever!”, I said, throwing my napkin at him.

“Yeah, I love you too”, he said with a smile on his face. I couldn’t hear him as some other crazy Punjabis were bursting a lot of noisy crackers to celebrate someone’s wedding. “I’ll just go to the loo and come”

“Abeeer”, I complained.

“2 minutes baby”, he came forward and kissed me before walking off.

The Punjus outside Wasabi were getting crazier and sound levels at which their crackers burst could actually deafen humans! Abeer came back soon as promised.

Soon after he settled in his chair, 2-3 men dressed in black, like commandoes entered Wasabi with their huge guns and started firing randomly.

“Abeeerrrr”, I shouted in terror, unable to process what was happening, unable to hear anything, totally confused.

I stood up, wanting to run. Abeer sprang up the second he saw me stand and jumped on me across the table and we both fell on the floor. Everything happened so suddenly that I couldn’t comprehend what was happening. All I knew was Abeer was on top of me and his mouth was on mine. I understood that it was a signal for me to shut up and not start crying. Those commandoes were still firing randomly and I kept my eyes tightly shut lest they know Abeer and I were still alive. I kept on reciting prayers for Abeer and my safety. I had a barter deal with God… that if Abeer and I make it out of here safe, I wouldn’t ever read Twilight. That was a huge compromise.

For what seemed decades was only a couple of minutes when the firing stopped and there was a deafening silence that gripped Wasabi. A couple of minutes later, I could hear people cry. I still didn’t dare move. Abeer was on me, he didn’t move either, I thought that was a cue for me to stay still. He was rather heavy today. He isn’t so heavy when he’s on top of me while we’re making love. I couldn’t breathe because his weight was crushing my lungs and I kept my hands on his back, trying to shake hi, without talking, to signal him to take his weight off me. When I moved my hands over him, his back was all wet. I feared the worst and when I brought my hand to my face, I couldn’t breathe. And that wasn’t because of his weight…. It was because of his blood……

This can’t be true!!! It must have been someone else’s blood on his clothes. He can’t…. I couldn’t bring myself to say the word….even think of it….. he’s just 28 for God’s sake! And we’ve been married only for a year! There’s so much more to life ahead of us….. I cupped his face in my hands and shook it. A stream of blood came out from his mouth onto mine and it was like someone dropped at 100kg stone on my chest.

After minutes of struggling to get out from under him, I finally found the strength to move out, sit upright and keep his head on my lap. The white shirt that he was wearing was everything but white now. Red was my favourite color, but not when his shirt was full of it……

I know he was just kidding with me for still liking Twilight and Edward at 25. And he knows how much blood freaks me. He’s just plain mean!

“Abeer, listen na baby”, I said, shaking him. “Open your eyes no baby. Abeer….”, I said, with tears rolling down my cheeks. “Abeer, sweetie, I promise I won’t read Twilight again. I won’t ever talk about Edward to you… I’ll not like him. I know you hate me liking him….I’m sorry baby…please open your eyes no….just tell me once more you love me. Abeer, I won’t ever get mad at you for getting late. Come whenever you want to…. I will not say anything. I will never pester you by asking you stupid questions….but please just talk to me once. Abeer….. you can’t go…..you can’t leave me alone…… What happened to the kids we were going to have. Ok, I won’t force you for a son…. I’ll name our child whatever you want… I won’t fight with you on it….but baby, please just once, talk to me na….open your eyes Abeer……”, I shook as I spoke to him. He was just not responding. He can’t be so upset with me for liking Edward.

“Abeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr open your eyes Abeer”

***

Part II Coming Soon.

Pritam Ka Swayamwar - Season I

2011-07-12T16:48:00.003+05:30

* This is not for me!!!!!*

Dear Friends,

My beloved friend Pritam needs a new girl-friend since times immemorial.
Hence my other friend, Aafreen has written this offer letter to help him in this endeavor. So, please pass this to all the females you know!

Applications are invited for the following post. The package and incentives are mentioned below:

Designation: Junior girl friend (On-the-job practical exposure would be given. On probation for 6 months, confirmation to be decided basis performance)

Experience: Must have ditched at least 2 guys (Fresher with excellent credentials will be given more preference)

Other requirements:

· Should know French {not the language ;-)}

· Height, weight, complexion no bar, but is subjective.

Age: 18-23 (if the individual is too good looking but not in the age group can also apply, special consideration will be undertaken for them)

Perks and incentives:

Total gross (Monthly) :

· 2 gifts worth not exceeding Rs. 1000 /-(any precious metals, stones)

· Bike rides each duration 1 hour

· Trips to National Highways in a bus

· Roaming bills for calls to Koparkhaine (a gaav in Navi Mumbai) will be borne by the ad-giver

· 5 Trips to Hanuman Mandir / Siddhivinayak Temple in a month

· Kulfis / Chocó bars at a regular gap of 3 days

· Daily Provision of Samosa / Bread Pakoda / Bhel / Maggi worth Rs. 10 /-

· 2 movies per month (Only on weekdays, that too morning shows)

· Visits to Shopping Malls and BARISTA every weekend (At your own expenses)

· A Pair of Jeans or T-shirts according to demand will be gifted, subject to finance availability and to the size available with the shopkeeper.

Net Deductions (Monthly): Affair Fund and Un-professional taxes will be informed on joining.

Please NOTE:

1. Only females may apply

2. Girls who left him in the last 2 months/ ex-girlfriends need not apply

There is more:

· For girls who are not eligible, or else you can take advantage of the referral program by referring your friends, colleagues etc.

· Candle light/Tube light dinner will be given on every referral, even if candidate is not selected.

Search never ends!!

· Interested candidates can send their resume on my Comments Section.

· Profile Pic is a must.

8.24 Churchgate Slow - A Short Story

2011-07-11T01:09:00.000+05:30

I don't know if it's a part of Murphy's laws that work ever so fabulously on Mondays than any other days of the week, but I'm inevitably late on this day.Every week.And I still can't fathom why. It was another such Monday morning where I was running late and in the hurry, I burnt my tongue by sipping the hot coffee that I had just picked up from the McDonald's opposite Andheri station. I ran towards Platform No.6, because that's where my train would come. It's the start train to Churchgate and it had not yet arrived. And I was still running as I wanted to be the first one to enter the train and get a window seat for myself.

In the rush to get to the area of the Ladies First Class before the train comes, I ran into someone as I looked down into my bag to fish out my cell phone with my free hand. The coffee in the other hand spilled a little on me before going down and splashing on the railway floor.

"What the fuu...." in a man's voice was what it took me to stop cleaning my kurti and looking at the person whom I had bumped into. It was then I saw his phone on the floor, with my coffee cup upside down on it.

"I'm so sorry!!", I said. I didn't even wait to think over in my head whose fault it was that we banged into each other. It was someone's BlackBerry that was now soaking wet with my coffee. And that would hurt!

"Yeah, ok", he said and went to the General First Class area. I saw him cleaning his phone with his handkerchief later. I felt really bad for his phone and in that guilt I let go of the window seat for the day.

***

I saw the guy the next day at Andheri station. It seemed like he took the same train as mine everyday. And he even got off at Lower Parel, like me. I smiled at him, when I saw at him look in my direction. He smiled back. I wouldn't have if he was the one whose coffee spoiled my phone.

We exchanged smiles again at Lower Parel station when we both got off the train.

This continued for the entire week. On the following Monday, he was standing closer to the Ladies Compartment than usual. I walked up a couple of steps to ask him about his phone. I still felt a little bad about it.

"Hi, how's your phone?", I said.

"It's in the service station", he said, flashing the phone to me.

"Oh nice. I am really sorry for the damage...", I fumbled nervously. I wasn't sure if should have made an offer for paying for it. Money makes simple things in life so damned complicated.

"The train's come", he said. "I'll see you around at Lower Parel station", he added before giving me a smile. I smiled too.

We got into our respective compartments. I caught a glimpse of him again at Lower Parel station and we smiled.

***

A month passed by us just giving each other smiles twice in a day.

Mumbai with its erratic trains and even more erratic rains drives you crazy. Especially if you happen to mix the two. On one such Monday evening, it started raining without any prior notice, and I was umbrella-less, waiting outside my office with a hundred odd people for a cab to the station.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a cab just halted a few feet from me, and I saw the guy who travelled in the 8.24 train with me every morning. He peeped out of the window and motioned for me to hop in the cab. And I obliged.

“I saw you trying to get a cab to the station, so thought of giving you a lift.”, he said.

“Oh, thanks! It’s such a Herculean task to get a cab in this part of the town at this time of the day.”, I said.

“Yeah, people can murder one another for a cab here. I’m Akash, by the way”, he said, giving out his hand

“Aditi”, I said, shaking his hand

“So after two weeks of smiling at you twice a day, I finally know your name”, he smiled. I smiled too, unsure of what to answer.

“I hope your phone is still working?”, I asked

“It’s still alive somehow. Just got it from the service station two days back”, he said

“Oh. I’m really sorry”

“I don’t feel like saying ‘It’s OK’, but, it’s OK!”, he smiled and paid for the cab.

“See you at 8.24 tomorrow”, I said, giving him a smile.

“Aditi, you have a nice smile, by the way”, he said and walked off

***

Call it co-incidence or whatever, our timings to leave our offices always matched with one another. He would always be in a cab to station when I would be hopelessly trying to get a cab for myself. We started going to and from Lower Parel station as our timings matched and due to the paucity of cabs. He worked in a multi-national consultancy firm and he quite looked the part too. I had first thought that he must be working for some bank. And my guess was almost right. I told him that I worked in a telecom company.

***

It was an overcast mid-July evening, one week after we started traveling together, when we were in the cab going to Lower Parel station and the weather was so awesome that you just had to be by the sea to soak in the beauty of Mumbai's monsoons.

"The weather is so awesome! I feel like going to Marine Drive. It's going to be cool there right now". I exclaimed.

"Let's go then", he instructed the driver to change the route and take us to Marine Drive instead.

Marine Drive was amazing as predicted. Soaking in the sea breeze, eating corn, looking at the vast, never ending sea and talking about life is an experience that one shouldn't miss in life. We spoke at length about our lives. He was from Delhi. He stayed along with a couple of friends at Marol in Mumbai. He had been in two relationships till now and his breakups made for funny stories! That reminded us of how stupid were our teenage years!

We proceeded to Leopold's for a beer (which was my sly tactic to go to Colaba to shop for cheap accessories) and later headed home. That was one of the best evenings I had in a long time.

***

Friday evenings at Marine Drive and followed by a beer at Leopold's or Cafe Mondegar had become a routine. The thing with doing something regularly over a period of time is that you don't realize when you are so habituated to it that it's almost an addiction then. We were so used to travelling together in the same train, in the same cab, our Friday evenings... that we didn't realize how close we had become to one another. From just laughing over past breakups to talking late into the night on the phone to help him get rid of his homesickness to have him go from just advising me on how to invest my money to actually have him do it for me, from eating out together, to carrying extra food specially for him in my tiffin, we definitely came closer than what we thought we had.

I realized that what we had was more than 'friends' the day I found myself skipping lunch to get medicines for him at his office when he was down with a flu. I didn't know if he felt the same for me or no. I didn't want to know. I was happy in the place that I was. If he didn't, I didn't want to have my bubble to burst. But I kind of felt that he liked me too. Because if he didn't then he wouldn't come shopping with me on the first day of a sale where the billing lines were crazy and I got my clothes billed at 11 in the night and he was patiently waiting. He came to drop me home that night and I wanted to ask him if he liked me too. But there was something in me restraining me to do so.

A couple of weeks later, my Mom had gone out of town, so I had to pack my own tiffin and hence I would get late to catch my 8.24 train. And, for a week that I missed my train, I saw him waiting on the platform for me and lie that he got late and missed his train too! He had to like me! I knew it....

***

That Friday at Marine Drive, it was drizzling slightly. These were the last few showers before winter. The entire Monsoon had passed and Akash had still not told me if he liked me. I didn't tell him too, because I wanted him to tell it first. Yes, I come from the old-school of romance.

"Akash, you are hopeless. I hope you know that.", I said, muttering the courage to keep my head on his shoulder.

"Why, what did I do?", he said. Taking a cue from me, he kept his hand on my shoulder.

"You didn't do anything. You don't do anything is my problem", I burst.

"Are you PMSing", he said, looking confused.

"You are so comfortable with a girl that you can ask her about her PMS but not tell her that you.... urrgghh! You're just so freaking impossible", I exclaimed

"Tell her what?", he asked, this time with a sly smile on his face.

"Tell her that you fucking love her!!", I said.

"But what makes you feel that I love you?", he continued giving that sly smile.

"Because I know you do", I replied.

"Then if you know it, then why should I say it. It is understood right", he continued pulling me leg.

"You think this is funny. Well it is not.", I said and threw his hand off my shoulder.

"Ok. Sorry sorry! Don't get mad. I love you. Happy?" he said.

"Don't say it like you're doing me a favour."

"I'm sorry baba! I love you. I really do. I just didn't know how to tell it to you. I was trying to figure it out since months! Not days, not weeks, but months! I'm serious!" he said and that melted my anger a little.

"You've said it to two girls before me, then why was it so difficult this time?", I quizzed him

"Because I wasn't so freaking serious about them", he said, looking directly into my eyes. "Are you going to return the favour or no?"

"I love you too", I smiled. I finally managed to get it out from him and then allowed to let him keep his hand on my shoulder. But after you've professed your love to a guy, he isn't satisfied with keeping his hand on the shoulder! He wants to go lower! He put his hand on my waist and got me closer to him.

After that day, we not only traveled in the same train, but also in the same compartment.

***

It was his birthday a month after we started carrying on and I decided to buy him a better BlackBerry model than the one I spoiled. So I got him a BB Bold 3. He was so touched by the gesture that he was actually speechless for a couple of minutes.

"Your coffee proved to be pretty expensive for you", he said, after regaining his senses.

"The coffee wasn't expensive.... it was priceless.......... I found you", I said.

"Oh my God!" he exclaimed. "So when I buy you the engagement ring, it shouldn't be expensive, but priceless right? And anything given by a priceless person would be priceless only na", he said, teasing me.

"No, my ring better be expensive! You have to pay a premium for not having said I Love You properly", I said.

***

HELP!!!

2011-07-03T22:01:00.003+05:30

Hey!!! A need a little help. There's a little problem with the data I collected for one question for my final MBA project, so I need to do it again. Could you please take just 5 mins out and fill this question for me. Unlike the last time, this time it will only take 5 min..... its just one question!! Please!!!

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What's In A Name - Short Story - Part Four

2011-06-05T02:39:00.001+05:30

Read previous parts here

That night after the movie, when we went to bed, I didn't have my back against him unlike what I was doing till now. Perched up on our elbows, we were talking how our day went and after that was done, I went on about all the non-sense Simi and I had done when we were kids.

"You guys were crazy!", he said when I recalled how we used to surreptitiously follow Varun, whom Simi had a crush on. (He is now her husband)

"We just wanted to know if he was single", I replied coyly

"And you thought you'd know that by following him? Anyways, I forgot to tell you... since you've not met my friends properly, they've arranged for a small party for us at Sutra on Saturday...."

"Wow, that's so sweet of your friends re", I said. More than being happy that he had nice friends, I was rejoicing at my chance to go to a disc!

***

"I don't have anything to wear for Saturday", I complained to Dhruvesh while serving him his morning tea

"So, go buy something", he said, looking up from the newspaper he was reading and taking a sip of his tea

"You'll come with me in the evening?", I asked, wanting to spend more time with him. So unlike me a month back!

"Shopping!! Why don't you go with Simi? I hardly know anything about clothes anyways", he tried his best to evade a shopping trip. "Take my credit card...."

"You're offering me your card!! Wow!! I love you!! Ok, I'll go with Simi.", I gushed at the benefits marriage could bring along with it and leaped at the card he held in his hand.

"What?", he looked shocked at my 'I love you'. I didn't know how to react as well, so I just kissed him on his cheek and bade him goodbye for office and excusing myself for a shower. I wasn't prepared for an I-love-you session right now.

***

I went shopping for a one piece dress to wear for the Saturday party with Simi in the evening. After the shopping spree spread to buying more than just one dress, we thought of dropping by at Megha's place. She was our common friend. I hadn't seen her since my wedding. She was rather shocked to see us, invited at her place.

"Hi... you didn't tell me you were dropping by! My house is in a state of mess.", she confessed, opening her pony tail and ruffling her hair.

"I hadn't heard from you since my wedding, so we decided to just drop by", I replied.

"Oh yeah, so, how's it being married?", she enquired of me.

"It's nice....", I blushed. "How have you been re and how's Vinay?", I asked. Vinay was her husband. Even she had a love marriage and I was really envious of her love story because Vinay was a real catch! Rich, handsome, intelligent....what more does one want in a man anyways! I used to have a huge crush on him. But He was like a mad puppy in love with Megha.

"I'm good re. He's fine too.", she replied.

However, that didn't sound so convincing. Her voice shook while answering. That's when I realized that behind the hair that covered her face, was a swollen left cheek. After a few lies about having a tooth ache, she cried in my arms. Simi came close too. We were hoping against hope that it wasn't what we were thinking.

"What happened?", Simi offered her a glass of water and tried to calm her down. I was still holding her tight. Contrary to what men think, even women are inept at handling other crying women, even if they are best friends. She told us her story in between sobs and wails and that sent a chill through both Simi and my spine.

***

I went home and I was still in shock. I didn't realize when Dhruvesh came home. He found me lying on the bed staring at the ceiling fan in darkness. My cheeks were wet with tears, which I wasn't sure were for Megha's state or fear for being in the same state myself.

"Are you ok, Payal?", he asked me switching on the light. "Payal, Payal....", he came near me and looked over me.

I got up and hugged him and held him tight for a few minutes. That was our first hug. He placed his hand on my head and asked me in a soft and gentle whisper about the reason for my strange behavior. I told him about how Megha found out about Vinay's extra marital affair, about his drinking problem that she was trying to convince herself was ok till now, about how he hit her right across the face when she confronted him about the love bites on his chest she found the previous night as she was changing his clothes for him as he was too drunk to do that. And before Megha could recover from the shock that Vinay was cheating on her, she also had to get over the fact that he had hit her. Dhruvesh just rubbed my hands to settle the goosebumps I had while narrating the story. I told him how I feared being Megha and he looked into my eyes and assured me he won't be another Vinay. My heart trusted him, but my eyes were still watering. That's when I realised how hopelessly in love I was with Dhruvesh to be so scared to lose him to another woman.

***

Saturday had come. I was so excited to wear my new dress. Dhruvesh said that I was looking stunningly hot, obviating the need for the usage of rouge on my face! We reached the venue and met all his friends outside Sutra.

"If I can't keep my hands off you today, it's all your fault", he said placing his hand on my waist and pulling me closer to him.

"No, it still is your fault. You gave me the credit card to go shopping", I whispered in his ears, feeling very proud of my repartee about my dress that he was referring to also quickly planted a kiss on his cheek.

"It's not your dress. It's you. It has always been you.", he said looking into my eyes. And then, I suddenly didn't want to go inside Sutra. All I wanted to do was to go and sit with him somewhere alone..... But his friends had already reached and he guided me towards them. He introduced me to them again... This time it was more detailed and I was more interested. His hand didn't lose its position on my waist.

When we went inside, he got a vodka for the both of us. I wasn't much of a dancer so, I just stood by a corner with him by my side But that didn't work for long, as we were dragged onto the dance floor whenever we escaped it.

I noticed that he wasn't called Dhruvesh by his friends. It was always Dhruv. He later told me that the only people who don't call him Dhruv are his parents and relatives! He confided in me that he wasn't particularly fond of him name for the same reason that I didn't like it for.... the ESH in the end!

Some time later, I saw him standing and drinking beer in a corner with Rajeev, his friend. I went to join them. Rajeev excused himself to get a drink. I complained to Dhruv, (yes, now I can not call him Dhruvesh!) about the smoke and loud music making it difficult to talk and I caught him looking at a hot girl standing behind me.

"You said you won't be able to keep your hands off me and you're not even able to keep your eyes on me....even when I'm talking to you", I said, turning his face towards me.

"Sorry na baby", he apologized holding my hand. Also making it the first time he called me 'baby'. I wasn't sure if it was alcohol induced.

"Forget it", I said, relieving my hand from his hand. I was angry. On the one hand he said, I was looking 'stunningly hot' and then on the other hand he keeps on staring at other hot bitches.... this isn't done!

He tightened his grip on my hand and pulled me towards him. My nose was now only 3 inches away from his. He looked into my eyes and said, "I love you". With that, all my anger just melted. It was like I was never angry! "And I love only YOU", he emphasized after a few moments. "Kept it within me for such a long time, now I feel so relieved", he confessed. I hugged him tight. He fell a little backwards as he wasn't expecting the hug. I hugged him tight, almost choking him. I had tiny droplets of tears in my eyes.

Rajeev's wife Seema saw us and laughed, "You're just back from your honeymoon!!! Just go get a room!!"

"Let's go get a room", I said freeing myself and him from the hug. He looked at me in disbelief. After repeating it once more, he excused us from all his friends giving some reason that I didn't even bother listening to. His 'I love you' was still playing in my mind in loops.

When we entered our car, I just grabbed him by his collar and kissed him hard. He went into a deeper sense of disbelief.

"I'm not complaining, but seriously, what is the matter with you!!", he said.

"Nothing", I said. The tiny droplets made a reappearance in my eyes.

"Payal... you're crying, what happened? Was it something I said?", he panicked.

"I was just so freaking stupid. I was going to throw all this away! I'm soooo stupid!! And how are you in love with such a stupid girl?", I said.

"Because the stupid girl is smart, she is independent, her smile has is in itself to light me up anytime of the day... though I'm seeing it only recently...and when she opens her hair and when they fly across her face, she looks divine. Enough for me to just look at her and spend the rest of my life doing just that", he said. The tiny droplets of tears now became big tears and rolled down my cheeks.

"I thought you'd get overwhelmed by all this and give me another kiss and all I'm getting is tears!", he joked.

"I'm just confused if I hate myself more or love you more", I said.

"How can you hate the girl I love?", he smiled.

"Because the girl you love is supremely stupid.... she wanted to have a love story before marriage and only because that didn't happen, she thought she'd never get it and hated the idea of marrying a guy whom she didn't love before marriage... pretty stupid isn't she?", I said.

I was careful in not mentioning that I also didn't like him earlier because his English was pathetic and his name sucked. And realizing later that having bad English is any day better than being beaten after having being cheated on by an English speaking glib talker.

"You know when was the first time I saw you?", he asked.

"When you came to see me at my place with your parents", I answered.

"Naaaa.... "He laughed. "I saw you at Nirav's wedding". Nirav was his cousin who had married my distant cousin Preeti. "You were trying to eat your food, finding it difficult to balance the plate on your hands and keeping your hair in place, which were falling on your face because of the fan you were standing next to. I found it so cute....to see you take care of your hair and still manage to eat. I really really liked you that time. I told Mom that I'd like to marry you if you were single. And you were."

"So you decided to marry me basis how well I handle my hair while eating food?", I asked in disbelief.

"I know that's stupid.... but isn't it how love stories are supposed to be anyways?", he said, putting strands of my hair behind my ears. Now I understood why he insisted that I don't cut my hair.

And here, I had my love story that I always wanted. The only difference was that it happened post-marriage as opposed to pre-marriage as I wanted. But it was pre-marriage for Dhruv at least! So that counts!! And I finally did get a guy who'd fall in love with me when he would see a strand of my hair on my face and loves it.

"Why did you not tell me all this earlier?", I complained.

"Because I knew you didn't love me when we got married. I just wanted to give you some time. Also, it's unfair to some level yaar.... one month was really a very small time period. But having said that, I wouldn't have been able to wait for long!", he said.

I hugged him. "Thank you for giving me such a beautiful love story", I said.

"How?", he asked puzzled.

"I always wanted to have a love story that no other girl had. A guy no other girl had.... and trust me, no girl on Earth would have a patient husband who'd be ok with not touching his wife on his Honeymoon. Thank you.... seriously", I said. This time, he kissed me before I could finish the sentence.

"I love you. I seriously do. And I'm just glad I wasn't the stupid rigid girl who ruined her marriage for some teenage romance expectations!"

"I love you too", he kissed me and stroked my nose later.

We were still in the car and we saw Seema knocking on my window. I rolled down the window and she said, "I told you guys to get a room....and you started in the car!" She went ahead and told the entire group about our apparent make-out session in the car. We then went to have a late night dinner where they further pulled our legs.

I have never been so happy in my life. Simi was right. Some love stories happen after marriage. My love story happened after and Dhruv's happened before our marriage. That night, I officially lost my heart to Dhruv and also a tissue....

The following morning, I woke up to Dhruv kissing me softly on my cheek to wake me up.

"Good morning baby" he said.

"Good morning", I blushed as our last night's love making scene flashed in front of me.

"You look beautiful", he said. And I knew I wasn't. After we came home, we couldn't wait for me to come back after washing off my make-up so my make-up was still on me. My kajal , eye-liner and mascara had all smudged over my face. And Dhruv still found me pretty when I was looking like a ghost.

"Dhruv, can I ask you for something?", I said.

"Yeah, tell me...."

"Can you take a week off..... I want to go on a Honeymoon"

"A week!! That looks really difficult. I had already taken almost a month off for our wedding...", he said

"Oh ok. It's ok...", I said, trying to smile so that he doesn't feel guilty.

"I'm so sorry baby.... I can take Monday off in the next week... Tuesday is a bank holiday anyways.... We can go to Lonavla on Thursday night and return on Tuesday night....... It's almost a week", he said, trying to bring a genuine smile on my face.

"Lonavla?", I cribbed. That wasn't a place where I wanted to have my Honeymoon.

"It wasn't me who wasted a week in Maldives na", he teased me.

"I hate you", I said, hitting him with a pillow for the Maldives comment.

"But I love you, Mrs. Payal Dhruv Shah", he said kissing me passionately.

After Dhruv, there was one more thing I fell in love with.... my new name.

Wanna Make A Fraandship - Part II

2011-05-29T22:08:00.001+05:30

I know the female to male ratio in our country is really bad....but that shouldn't mean that (some) men just hit on women in the cheesiest way possible!! After my first attack on random men adding random girls on Facebook, I thought, the entire community would've banned me, but to my surprise, they had not. Looking at the amount of friend requests I get b(modesty be damned!), I think I should put on 8 inches of heels and walk into the Miss India contest!!! I'm hot property...or so it seems!! Here is a new list of the friend requests that I've received in the past couple of days....

HI.
Nupur,
I am xxx with you. I want to make a good friendship with you.
I am from Uttar Pradesh. Right now i am in Dubai. I am working hear as a Supervisor. Can you call me please on my No.xxx

So, it seems, he's not xxx to others! And he thinks people in India would actually spend money in giving him international calls to Dubai!! Some people need to get out of their self love!

hieeee

how u doing.....
Shall we be fb friends??? Cute smile.

One more of those!!

Hi Friend i am searching a good friend u like to friendship with me .... replay me i am waiting for your responss

Replay?!?!

hi thr dear i jus came across ur profile,nice pic!! had u as a frnd suggestion, thght id ask u 1st b4 addin nna b frnz?? wt say?

If I were to add all my friend suggestions, I would have more than 2000 friends on Facebook!

hii u lokng so good

hi u have a cute smile ur eyes do talk a lot abt u miss naughty perfect eye brows love ur eye lashes, sharp features would like to pull those chubby cheeks lol lovely forehead i like the way u carry urself love ur hairstyle,sunglass u are wearing u make it look good ,earrings u are wearing u make it look good ,top or outfit u are wearing u make it look good ,jeans u are wearing u make it look good ,makeup u are wearing on ur face u make it look good ,lipstick color u are wearing on ur lips u make it look good ,whatever u wear wther any outfit or western outfit with or without accessories footwear u make it look good

If you left reading it midway, please go back and read it again. It is totally worth it!! Trust me!

would like to know more abt u

would u be interested in modelling

I told you, I have Miss India potential!

hiee... DeaR Can We Be frndsS...????

hi gud evening i dont know u but u will bcome mi frnd?

Me became mah....but since when did it become mi??

hi... came across ya profile randomly... realised u an mba student as well.

Yes, it is a Mumbai University rule that all MBA students should be Facebook friends!!

What's In A Name - Short Story - Part Three

2011-05-06T02:26:00.002+05:30

Read Part One Here

Read Part Two Here

The next day Simi dragged me along with her to a salon because she wanted a haircut.

“Why do I have to come along? I don’t want a haircut. I want to sleep!”, I complained

“Shut up you lazy ass. You’re coming with me because you’re not being given an option! Come on! Who’s gonna tell me if the haircut suits me or not? I always used to come with you…..”

“Fine! I hate best friends! Bloody blackmailers!!, I gave in. I accompanied her to the salon and sat there reading Bridal magazines! Somehow they brought a smile to my face.

“I’m feeling very bad re. You’re sitting alone…. Why don’t you get a haircut too?”, Simi said while her hair was being shampooed.

“I don’t want a haircut”, I said. “I’m happy with mine and besides Dhru…” I stopped in my tracks before finishing the sentence.

“Besides what…?”

“Besides I haven’t washed my hair”, I lied and tried to control the blush and smile on my face

“Stop blushing!”, she said. I was right, she’s God! She knows everything!

“Nothing yaar”, I said coyly

“Just spit it out”, she said, losing her patience.

“Dhruvesh is not as bad as I presumed him to be. In fact, he’s really nice”, I smiled immersing my face in the magazine I was flipping through.

“Finally!! Thank God! I told you he’s nice!”

“Yeah I know. He said he likes my hair and I shouldn’t cut my hair…. So…”

“Oh my God! I don’t believe this! Trust me! It took just one dinner for this! Shit, someone should’ve recorded the dinner!! Why didn’t I give you a lecture before

your honeymoon? God, I hate myself!”

“Don’t hate yourself. If I am blushing today, the reason is your lecture”, I said. She got up with lathered hair and hugged me. And then urged me to get a haircut too. Just some layers.

***

“Hey”, Dhruvesh said when he called me while I was still at the salon, getting a haircut

“Hi”, I said.

“I got tickets for Shor in the City… I hope it’s ok with you… it is at 6.30 at Juhu PVR”

“Ok! So, you’re leaving early from office?”, I asked

“Yes. And I have told Mom that my Boss has invited you and me for dinner that’s why we won’t come to Pushpa Aunt’s dinner. Maintain the same story!”

“You lied! That’s bad!!”, I teased him

“Ok, you be the good bahu and go for the dinner. I’ll go for the movie alone”, he teased me in return

“I’ll save you the misery of watching the movie alone…. I’ll come with you!”, I smiled.

“And now people have started talking in hushed voices”, Simi laughed.

***

I met Dhruvesh directly at the theatre. He was 20 minutes late.

“You’re 20 minutes late”, I complained when he came.

“Traffic” and then he gave the classic I’m-late excuse one gives in Mumbai to which there’s just no counter argument!

“I hate waiting!!”, I screamed.

“But you don’t mind making people wait!”, he smiled slyly.

“I… ummm”, I understood what he was referring to. And to that, I didn’t have an answer to.

“I was just joking. You had a haircut?”, he said noticing my haircut

“Yeah… it’s just layers, I didn’t cut the length. Actually, I didn’t want to… but Simi… you know she forced me…. I told her that I don’t ….”

“Payal, it is ok! It looks good on you”, he assured me.

“You told me you didn’t want me to cut my hair… but…I don’t know how I agreed..”, I defended myself.

“It seriously looks good on you.” He said keeping his hand on my head and ruffling my side flicks. He held my hand and guided me to the screen. We held hands even while watching the movie.

“Your hair smells great. “, he said playing with my hair.

“They’re washed like an hour back!”, I said looking into his eyes.

“I know”, he said kissing my forehead.

I put my hand around his arm and kept my head on his shoulder. He rest his head on my head. We kept on talking in whispers and giggling. The giggling changed to a kiss on my nose and then a kiss on the lips! And I couldn’t believe that my first kiss with my husband happened in a packed movie theatre and not in the privacy of a room in Maldives! And yes, I didn’t know what was going on in the movie after that.

They say everything changes after your first kiss and they are right. I just started liking him yesterday and after the kiss today, I think I’m falling in love with him! So much so that now I can’t take his name not because I don’t like it, but because I just genuinely not able to!

____________________________________________________________________________________________

I know I had promised that this would be a three part series. But due to popular demand, I'm writing more on this story! Hope you'll like it!

P.S : This chapter was dedicated to the movie Socha Na Tha (I was watching it while writing this).... the cutest movie on arranged marriages!

Short Story - Part II

2011-05-03T22:48:00.001+05:30

This is the second part of the story that I had started some time back. Read the first part here.

It had been two days since I came back from my one week long Honeymoon to Maldives. It was Dhruvesh’s surprise for me. Before our marriage, he had once asked me if I would like beaches or mountains, and I picked beaches. Beaches meant Maldives. Simi had come to meet me at my ‘new’ home for the first time and she was visibly excited about my Honeymoon too.

“So, how was it?”, Simi asked in her excitement.

“It was good. Maldives is a nice place. Their beaches are better than ours”, I replied

“Fuck Maldives, how was your honeymoon??So what did you do huh? Come on give me all the details!”, she asked.

“Honeymoon was good”, I replied choosing my words very carefully.

“Did you do anything or no?”, Simi asked, visibly irritated with me. I just looked out of the window. She turned my face to face hers and asked me again, “A kiss at least?”And I turned my face again to continue staring outside the window

“What is wrong with you?”, she fumed

“What is wrong with me? What is wrong with everyone? I can’t sleep with a guy whom I just know for a little over one month! Is that my fault? No, I don’t think so!”, I exhaled and removed all the pent up frustration I had in me for the past one week.

“You’re still not happy with him?”, she asked and I continued looking out of the window, but with this question, tears came rolling down my cheeks. “Why did you marry him then?”

“I didn’t have an option”

“Bullshit! You always had an option, you just chose not to stand up for yourself and exercise the option! You could’ve put your foot down the minute things started getting finalised saying this is not the guy you wanted. Your parents would’ve tried convincing you, but never force you! Instead of telling me one night before the wedding, you could’ve told your Mom about it. Calling off your wedding one night prior to it is better than calling it off after the honeymoon!”

With that, I couldn’t control my tears. I hugged her and cried as much as I cried during my bidaai after the wedding.

“You know what Payal, the problem is not Dhruvesh. The problem is that you don’t even want to give him one fair chance. He could be the guy you wanted. You won’t know if you don’t allow him to show it to you. He deserves at least that much! Come on! That guy didn’t even get to touch his wife on his Honeymoon!” And with that, I wiped my tears and smiled. “ You know, Payal, life is about making compromises. And some of them are really beautiful compromises. But you get to know them only with time. Life is not a Bollywood movie. It comes nowhere close to it. Accept it. Your love story could be beautiful, if you let it bloom. And if you do let it bloom, it will not be like the ones shown in movies!”

“I know life is not a Bollywood movie but”

“See, ‘But’ is a conjunction…. You join two sentences with it. You can’t ever end one with it. Think about what I said. It’ll make a lot of sense only if you want it to make sense to you”, she said. That hit the nail. She was right. I was way too rigid and I refused to bow down. I just simply refused to even think that maybe, even after all the things about Dhruvesh that I didn’t like, there might be something that I might just like. Whichever ways, it wasn’t like I had any other option but to like him.

“Maybe you’re right. I just have never given him a chance … and I needed someone to drill it into me.”

“Hmm. Good. So what did you tell him for not you know…..”

“One night he was trying to you know get close and stuff, so I told him very politely that I need some time to get comfortable with him…. And I think he understood. He didn’t try after that night”

“He respected your decision. That was a sweet thing to do. And I’ll also tell you one thing. Take time to get comfortable with him but don’t take so long that he runs out of patience and you know has an affair or something!!”

“Really?”, I asked, flummoxed.

“I know you were born at night, but didn’t know that it was last night!! Dude, you seem to have forgotten all the men gyaan we gathered through our teenage!!”

“My mind’s just not working. I don’t know what I am doing in life”

“Oh your life… you’re not doing anything much. You’re just ruining it, that’s it!”

“Fine! I’m listening to your advice! Save the sarcasm now!”, I replied.

***

I felt really good after I got the pasting from Simi. I think I really needed it. I thought I’d call him for a change today and ask if he would like to go out for dinner. He agreed and we went to dinner. At the dinner, I realised that he wasn’t as bad as I was assuming him to be. He was interesting to talk to. He was funny at times, sarcastic sometimes and he could make me smile. I realised that I liked talking to him too. But it just wasn’t in the language I wanted. After dinner, we went to Marine Drive for a walk and talk some more before we went home. We had just started opening up to each other.

“The city looks so amazing here na”, he said.

“Yeah. It’s beautiful. I used to come here with my college friends. It used to be so much fun with them!!”, I answered.

“I don’t want to go to dinner at Pushpa Aunt’s place tomorrow! It is going to be so boring!”, he said, talking smaller steps to be able to keep pace with me.

“Same here! Can we not go? Please!!”, I urged. “Let us both go out for dinner instead. And probably a movie too”, I said. I wouldn’t have imagined myself saying this 24 hours back!

Dhruvesh just looked at me and smiled probably wondering what had gotten into me. “Ok.”

“It is like role reversal now! Earlier I was hardly talking, and now you are hardly talking!!”, I said.

“It’s not that I’m complaining, but just wondering what has suddenly happened to you!”

“I told you, I just needed some time”, I lied because I didn’t want him to know how shallow his wife is.

“I understand”, he smiled.

“Thank you for being so understanding and so patient with me.”, I said

“That’s ok! It’s not a big deal. People take time to adjust to new situations. And besides, you really didn’t have time”, he quipped

“You didn’t have time either!”, I replied. He just smiled. “What is the smile for? You too didn’t have time to get adjusted with me”, I asked, perplexed with his smile.

“Anyways, when are you resuming work?”, he asked me.

“I still have three more weeks”

“That’s a real big holiday you got from office!”, he said.

“I know! I was lucky. I was thinking of quitting work”

“Why? You said you love your job na”

“Yeah, I love my job…. But I don’t know I was just thinking that probably I’ll just stay home…..”

“You want to be a housewife?”

“Kind of!”

“And waste all that talent that you have? You’re not getting to do that! You’re working and not staying home doing nothing!”

“I don’t think I can manage home and office all together….”, I said.

“It’ll be fine. Don’t worry. And besides Mom is there na. You don’t have to run an entire house by yourself! Don’t even get this thought again. You’re working until you genuinely get bored of it. I don’t want you to waste your talent.”

“Thanks”, I looked at him and smiled. I felt it was a big thing for him to do…. To let me work. I know of many of my cousins who stopped working because their husbands didn’t approve of it. Simi was really right when she said that Dhruvesh wasn’t that bad!

“Your job has made you who you are today. I don’t want you to lose your identity only because your surname has changed”

“I am really lucky to have such a supportive husband”, I said and meant every word that I spoke.

“Being supportive is just a polite way of saying ‘I don’t mind the extra income coming home!’”, he laughed. I laughed too. While walking our hands clashed and he let them touch. The touching later progressed to our fingers intertwining with each other’s and walking holding hands.

“I love your hair. Don’t ever think about cutting them!”, he spoke after some time, putting a strand of my hair behind my ears.

“So, now you’ve stated giving me orders!”, I joked. “And I thought you were all supportive and understanding”. I said and he laughed.

“You should get a taste of both!” and with that I smiled.

We left for home after some time. And I put my hands on his shoulders while sitting on the bike with him. It felt good. Simi was God! She knew everything!! I liked the first set of physical contact that I had with him. It was romantic yet subtle. Not over the top like how it is in movies!!

There were no roses, no candle light dinner, no moon lit stroll on the beach, but still, it was the most romantic evening that I had. Street food for dinner, a walk with honking horns for background music and so much to talk!

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus - Part II

2011-04-10T22:03:00.000+05:30

Modesty be damned, but I'm seldom wrong when I make an argument. It's Libran trait to participate in arguments and win them! In one of my earlier posts, I had written than men are equally complicated as women. But now, I correct myself - Women are more complicated. Period. Men are not. Men are pretty simple. All they want in life is sex, food, sports and beer and they're sorted. Unlike women! Let's talk about one thing at a time, so let’s deal with why men are so simple in life. I can imagine all my female readers reading the next few lines, making a mental note on what they'll say to disagree with me. But, don't try it ladies! Read the first line of the post again!

For my women readers, who say men are complicated, watch the movie He's Just Not That Into You. You'll get amazing insights on men! I'll mention this one thing that I've been a victim of and finally did a Qualitative Research on a few men to know what exactly the problem was!!!! (The sample size was very small!!!)

· We complain that the guys we like don't message or call us. Or don't reply. The thing is that they're just not interested in looking at us in 'that' way. If they did, they wouldn't wait for us to call/text them, they'd initiate it themselves! And when you lose interest in them after a couple of years, they'll bombard you with 30 texts a day...an astonishingly huge number of texts they never cumulatively sent you in the 4 years they were friends with you for! So, the key is that ignore men, they'll come right behind you!

So, now this was something that was what I got right from the horse's mouth. The interesting value addition that I did to it was this: By the roles defined by Nature or Evolution, men were supposed to be hunters. So they love the chase that a kill needs. So they'll be all charged up for the chase, use their heads to make the prey fall and all and once they prey is killed, all they do is bring the carcass home, hand it to the women who'd cook it so that they can eat and then have some sex after the meal! Man has evolved from being a hunter to a civilised person that he is now, but the innate instincts remains the same. They love the chase that lead them to land a girl. Till then, they'll be all sweet, romantic and all that, but once the girl professes her feelings for him, the chase is over. She's just left to be eaten (no double entendres here!!) This is precisely the phase where women feel that the honeymoon part of their relationship has ended and the guy isn’t as sweet as he was earlier! For some, it’s only about the chase (the ‘bad boy’ category as we call them) and for some it’s about the prey as well as the chase (the ‘take-home-to-Mamma’ category). So, men are simple… they all follow the same pattern and it was time we figured what it was!

Coming to women, they are very complicated. They not only have men issues in life, but also have women issues! Two women can seldom stand each other unless they’re related by blood or are BFFs! They either don’t like the vibes they get from other women, their dressing sense, their attitude in life, the list is endless! This is due to a deep rooted insecurity that men don’t stay faithful to one woman and this gives rise to the constant comparison and competitiveness they subject themselves to! The need for wanting a constant one-up (wo)manship. A lot of advertising communication has targeted this competitive nature of women! The uski saadi meri saadi se safed kaise and see the new TVS Wego ad! Seriously, we’re too vain in life!

Also the Ladies Compartment in a train is the best place to see the bitchy side of women! The only problem I have with them is that the mad rush to enter into a train before people alight! Have some patience, ladies! And also, the fights! If there’s ever one, it will go on from Borivli to Churchgate unlike men’s train fights that end with a MC/BC/C!

The following two phenomenon are widely seen in Gujju households. Dunno about others!

One other reason why we have a problem with other women in our mothers! Yes! If you’re a guy, in all probability you were the aakhon ka tara,pyaara dulaara beta who never learnt to sympathise with a woman’s pains because their mothers always shielded them from it. The mothers, even with high fever would cook and feed the family and not lie down on the bed and ask her son to make her a cup of tea. So, this son who was never asked to make a cup of tea for anyone, wouldn’t do so in future and would expect his wife to cook for him and feed him even if she’s in labour! (Ok, the last one was exaggerated to convey the point!). And this story gets worse if this beta had a sister! When I have my girl-friends crib about how irritating their brothers are, I thank my Dad for giving me a sister!

Just so that my future mother-in-law doesn’t come vying for my blood after reading this post, I’ll add that mothers of daughters are no less! From the minute we’re born, we’re subjected to a never-ending, almost auto-dialler like rants of how we won’t have a mother-in-law, but a monster-in-law! And the aunts only add fuel to the fire! Not all women make bad mother-in-law! There might be some good ones!! And I’m hoping this is not wishful thinking!! Maybe our mothers and aunts are talking out of experience, but I suggest, let us learn ourselves. Don’t put in ideas in our heads and let us go into a new home with a bias already fed in our systems! So, my plea to all mothers and mothers-in-law, Love us like you love your daughter and we’ll respect you like we respect our mother. Life is simple. Don’t complicate it!

P.S : I'm not a feminist or anything, it's just that I find this topic of a man-woman thing very interesting! I have not read much on the psychology of their relationship with each other, but I plan do so. Everything was just my observation and/or my take on things. People may agree, people may disagree. I’m game for a debate!

P.S 2 : I love mothers! They’re the only people who would ever sacrifice for you. Love them, respect them. This was just to pull their leg so that they’ll have something to miss once we’re in monster-in-law land!!

Diamonds Are Forever!!

2011-04-07T14:11:00.000+05:30

This was an interesting print ad that I came across while I was doing some research for my Sem 4 Dissertation Project. I absolutely love it!! Thought of sharing it with you guys! Small tip for men, do not undermine the effects that diamonds have on women!! Go buy your woman a diamond right now! You could courier some to me too for giving you such an amazing, saving-many-fights-after-marriage tip!!

What's In A Name - A Short Story - Part One

2011-04-04T23:46:00.000+05:30

Waise toh, I'm very famous for starting to write a story and never finishing it,but I'll definitely try to finish this three-part story that I'm starting with this post.

All the characters in this story are fictitious! People, though you may be tempted to draw parallels between the main lead and me, I'll tell you, it's not my story!!!! I'm NOT getting married any time soon! This is just something that crossed my mind when I was talking to a guy-friend about how a girl becomes a woman and how the things she wants in her man changes with age and/or events. This is also dedicated to all the my-parents-are-starting-to-look-out-for-grooms-for-me SMSes that I've been receiving of late from my friends and the ones that are sent out by me!!! I hope this three part story brings in some hope for you.

***

“Who’s it?”, said a miffed Simi, who had woken up from sleep as my phone rang.

“Hello”, I answered the call, ignoring Simi’s pillow throws at me.

“Hi. How the party was?”,Dhruvesh, my fiancé today and husband tomorrow asked about my ‘bachelorette’ party.

“It was good.”, I said nonchalantly. “How was yours?”, I asked as part of a formality.

“It was amazing! We had lot of fun”, he answered. And why wouldn’t you have fun when you can have alcohol and drool over women and return home drunk and not get grounded.

“Nice”, I said for the lack of anything better to say.

“So, big day tomorrow! You excited?”, he asked me, sounding very enthusiastic. I was wondering how many tequila shots did he have to sound like this?

“Yeah, excited and nervous”, I answered. Keep a fast until you’re officially married, wear two sarees together and tons of jewellery and make-up and then I’ll ask you how excited you are!!

“Guess it’s a girl thing! It’s nice that Simi and your other friends have decided to spend the night at your place. You can talk to them all night”, he said. “I think you should go to sleep now. You’ll have to wake up early na tomorrow”

“Yeah. That’s a good idea. Bye, good night”, I said.

“Good night” he said and hung up.

“What is wrong with you. Why do you talk to him like that?”, Simi said

“Like what?”, I answered. Guess she had woken up and heard my entire conversation with Dhruvesh

“Like you’re just not fucking interested in talking to him! In the 20 years that I’ve known you, you’ve never answered in one words! You are you! You TALK! Why do you talk like this to Dhruvesh?”, she said.

“Can you guys like please go to sleep?”, Reema said from one corner of the room.

All my BFFs – Simi, my best friend since KG, Reema and Sheetal, my school best friends, Purvi, my junior college best friend, Shruti, Dimple and Swati, my degree college best friends and Khushi, my post-grad best friend had stayed back at my place on the eve of my marriage. I have a lot of best friends! But, Simi is the bestest of all. She knows me since we were 3! That’s like since 20 years! And we’ve been best friends ever since!

Simi came to where I was sleeping, dragged me by my shoulder and took me to our ‘window sill’. It was this balcony in my room which had an amazing view and we’ve spent a million hours talking about Simi’s then boyfriend and now husband Varun! She forced me to sit.

“Tell me what’s the issue?”

“There’s no issue. I’m just tired”, I answered, not looking at her in the eye.

“Don’t bullshit me”, she sat in front of me and turned my face so that I could look at her in her eye and talk. “Tell me, what’s wrong?”

“There’s nothing wrong”, I said.

“Really? You want me to believe you? Babes, please tell me what’s wrong? Did he do something? Say something to you?”

“No”

“Monosyllables! I hate them!!”, she fumed. “Did he try to you know….force you for like sex or something before marriage?”, she guessed

“Hell no!”, I shouted back!

“What is it then?”, she asked with a grave concern on her face. “You’re getting married to him in less than 12 hours…. You want to marry him right?”, she asked. And I couldn't control the tears that I had filled myself up with since a month that it was decided that he was the one for me.

“Aww, baby! It’s ok! You just are freaked! It’s normal to have cold feet before the wedding day. I had it too!”

“Don’t lie! I’ve never seen anyone as desperate as you to get married!!”, I joked. Finally, after a month there was a smile on my face.

“Ok, fine! At least you smiled. See, I know it all has happened real quick! I mean one month is really not enough…. But it’s ok. Your parents aren’t fools and besides that, Dhruvesh is a really nice guy, trust me! Even Varun says so…. And he’s a guy….he knows guys better than us!!”, she asked.

“It is not that, Simi. Leave it, you won’t get it. Nobody does”, I shrugged.

“Try me.”, she urged.

“It’s everything! He’s not what I wanted in life! You know that I never had a boyfriend in life and that’s why I thought probably that’s because I’d get someone out of the world for me to marry. But this is not out of the world!!”

“Ok. What do you not like in Dhruvesh?”, she tried to calm me down”

“Everything!”

“Start somewhere!”, she persisted.

“The name… Dhruvesh!! I mean it’s like so Gujju!! It sounds Gujju…. Because of that ESH thing in the end. I don’t like his name! I don’t like his surname. I don’t like how Payal Dhruvesh Shah sounds like!! It’s not mellifluous to my ears.”

“You don’t wanna marry him because you don’t like his name?”, she laughed, waking up two of my friends.

“See, I told you, no one understands.”, I complained and got up to go back to sleep, she held my hand and asked me to sit.

“Sorry. Let’s start again”

“The reasons I have sound very shallow to others, but to me they are not. Because it’s my life at stake. I want what I want and Dhruvesh …yucckkk…. Is not that! And it’s not just the name. He can’t even speak English properly. He can’t throw two sentences without an error and you know how irritating that is. I wanted a guy who could throw five big words in a sentence if I’d throw three and he can’t even get my normal English stuff. English is important to me and I wanted my guy to speak good English. And he can’t.”

“Hmm. You can work on the English, Payal. And name… you’ll get used to it!”

“Imagine saying Dhruveshhhhh when you’re doing it…. It’s like so turning off yaar!”, I said.

“Look at the good side… he’s letting you work after marriage. That’s a positive”

“He doesn’t talk. He’s all shy and quiet with me and you know I can’t take silence. It freaks me. And he’s not at all romantic. He doesn’t know how to talk to women.”

“No guy on earth knows how to talk to women the way we want, so I’ll give that to Dhruvesh”

“Can you like please not take his name?”, I said. “And I always wanted a love marriage yaar. Falling in love, talking on the phone for hours, that honeymoon period of the relationship…he being all romantic and all filmy, when all romantic songs make sense to you…. I don’t have that phase in my life. I feel like a fucking 16^th century woman!”

“You can have that after marriage. And let me tell you, love marriage sounds glamorous on paper. In reality, it is not like that”

“Look who’s talking! You had the most amazing love story”, I said

“I did. But we do have problems. We’ve dated for 5 years and been married for 2…. The seven year itch is not a myth my friend! See, with love marriages the problem is that you begin with attraction and then when you have to compromise and adjust later, and that’s a problem. With arranged marriage, you start with compromise and end with attraction. Trust me, that’s how it should be because that attraction is unshakeable. It has a more solid and practical foundation.

“But still, I wanted a love story that I could tell my kids about”

“You can still have it”

“With Dhruvesh? Noooo” I replied

“Why didn’t you tell your parents about it if you had such a big problem. You could have told me earlier…. What’s the point of telling me NOW!”

“I tried telling Mom, she gave me one million reasons why he’s the right guy and shut me up. I didn’t like getting engaged and married in a month. But considering that his grandfather is almost on his death bed and wants to attend his function, I agreed.”

“Don’t have a pity marriage”

“It’s more compromise than pity.”, I said

“Dudeee. He’s a nice guy. Trust me. Trust my instincts. Give him one fair chance. Keep the name and English aside…. Look at the inner him. That’s what’s important when you’re getting old with him.”, she tried making me look at the brighter side of things.

“I didn’t even have a bachelorette party with alcohol and all. I wanted to enjoy my courtship period with him. Wanted to go out, party hard, wear hot clothes, get drunk, come home late and not be asked questions….. I didn’t get to do any of that. I wanted him to fall in love with me when he saw me for the first time and he saw a strand of hair on my face and he so liked it that he fell in love with me…. I wanted something like that….”

“What are you? A Yashraj Film heroine? You can’t take the AC for more than 30 minutes and you want to dance in a miniskirt in the Switzerland snow!!”, she laughed.

“No. I just wanted to have a love story. Period.”, I retaliated.

“You’ll have it. Your life is not ending tomorrow. It’s just starting.”, she said

“Yeah right”, I said, staring at my hands which were covered in mehendi. And his name in it. The only thing that I liked on my hands was the engagement ring because of the huge diamond it had.

I was marrying Dhruvesh the next day and I felt nothing for him. Nothing.

P.S : Thank you, Aanchal for the amazing quote on love marriage v/s arranged marriage! And thanks for approving the names of the characters in the first go! You're back on my blog now, so you better be the first one to comment!

P.P.S : Please like my page on Facebook!! You can see the LIKE button to your right as well! (Sounds so desperate, but I need some ego boost real bad!!!)

Part Two : Coming Soon

My Blog's 3rd Happywala Birthday!!!!

2011-03-24T22:18:00.000+05:30

It is my bloggie's 3rd Happywala Birthday today!!! Yay!!!! I am so happy!!! Unlearning the Muteness, my baby is three today! And I'm so proud of my small baby! It has grown so much over the past three years. Grew up and taught me a lot too. Gave me adulation, gave me fans, gave me followers, gave me respect, gave me my job (7 out of 10 minutes of my job interview was on my blog!!), gave me people who look up to me for advice.... in short, my blog has given me a lot... a lot more than I had imagined or wished for when I had started out. It has helped me when I was sad, made me happy by showing me awesome comments first thing in the morning that make my day! It has made me famous!!! I am someone, and I am that someone on my own! And that's a great feeling to feel!

I had thought of so many other things to write on this occasion but right now, I am so overcome by emotions that nothing is just getting penned down! Maybe this is what it feels to be a parent! My baby is 3 years old!! I am sooooo happyyyyyy!!!!

Things Women Will Never Understand About Men!

2011-03-12T19:55:00.001+05:30

One thing that I have accepted in my life is that I have to live with the 'feminist' tag for the rest of my life, even though I am not one! This is not a feminist post.... I am not trying to bash men or make fun of them. I'm just trying to ask them to please explain some of their quirks! You can use the comment section for it.

In my earlier post, I have mentioned a lot about train travel. Now, one thing that I have noticed on railway platforms is that the men's loo is always right where the ladies coach is supposed to halt!! I've confirmed it for Andheri, Dadar and Elphinstone stations! And trust me, you can't cross these stations without covering your nose, even if you're in the train. I really feel bad for women who have to board trains from these platforms!! Now, what I don't understand about men is that why do their loo have to stink so much! And it is not only at the Railway stations... I've noticed it at a lot of other places as well! So men, what are you doing inside? Target practice? If, yes, then you need a lot more practice to improve your aim!!! And no cracking jokes on how you can pee anywhere while on a road trip!! We know that the world is your loo, and we also stay in that world, so please make it beautiful for us! We make your world beautiful by wearing short and revelaing clothes right, so you too, please do the needful and stop peeing around! Please, don't ever wear revealing clothes.. we're not interested in seeing your Kalvin Clean undies!! And you thought we had a problem only with you not putting the toilet seat down!

After two aborted and unsuccessful attempts at learning how to drive a car, I've quit!! I'm now a license holder since the past 3 years who can't drive the car beyond the second gear! I've quit because I can't have my Dad yelling at me at 6 in the morning!! I just simply can't begin my day like that!! You can't even yell back or show your middle finger and walk off like you would do to your husband if you were to learn driving from him! Now, that's what I am planning to do. I can yell back at my husband, hit him, cry, make him sleep on the couch for a week if he yells at me.... and you can't do any of these things with your Dad. So, women, be wise and learn driving after you're married!! And if you're 23 and Gujju, don't cry in front of your Dad...EVER. A person who is mentally prepared to give you away to someone else is not going to melt with tears! You need emotional blackmail of a totally different level to melt that heart! Anyways, life gyaan apart, what I want to understand is why can't men be more PATIENT while teaching a girl how to drive? We are not naturally blessed to learn it as easily as you did. I admit, most women are bad drivers, but you can help create a little less bad driver! Have patience guys, the rewards will be worth it!

Now, one interesting thing that I came across while chatting with a guy friend is that, men don't get scared if they are made to sleep on the couch. So, for all the women reading this, if you have a fight with your husband, don't make him sleep on the couch, because, they love it. They say, by sleeping on the couch, they can watch uninterrupted and unregulated TV all night! {Unregulated was the catch word! Use the parental controls on TV wisely, girls} So, if you want to punish your guy for yelling at you, hide the remote and the hard drive! OMG, I sound so prepared for marriage.... that's what happens when you have one classmate after the other getting married!! Now, I hope my would-be-husband is not reading this blog, or else even he'll come prepared!

Another thing I really want men to answer is what goes in your mind when women talk to you about our men problems and want a man's perspective on it. I have personally noticed this and still don't know what is on your minds!As part of research for my blog and gyaan on men in general, I tried faking a problem and talking about it. Two of my friends changed the topic thinking I wouldn't notice. One started talking about some SAP project he bagged in office, and when confronted, he confirmed he wasn't listening to me and was lost in his own world. And the last one, listened to the entire problem and spoke exactly the things that a girl needs to hear when she's talking about a guy problem.... just abuse the guy and say how much better you were for him! Maybe the last friend did that because he's my oldest guy friend and experience tells him, there's no option that he has but to listen to my problem and say things that I want to hear! But still, I really want to know what are men thinking when we talk about other men-induced problems to you. While we are at this topic, I have to absolutely narrate this chat to you that I had with another guy friend.

Me : (guy's name) is such an asshole.

Him: Why? What did he do now?

Me: He didn't reply to my message (Yes, it doesn't matter of you're 13 or 23, the he-didn't-call/reply problem continues to haunt our existence!)

Him: Hmm. (wondering in his head : Tell me something new!)

Me: All guys are such assholes yaar!

Him: Don't you think it is women who are experts at picking assholes from the basket. There are non-asshole guys too who never get picked!

Me: Assholes don't come with a 'Asshole Ahead, Tread Carefully' sign on their forehead, then how are we supposed to know who's an asshole and who's not!

I couldn't help but laugh my heart out at this conversation!!And women, it is ok..... Men really don't come with the 'Asshole Ahead, Tread Carefully' sign on their forehead, so it is ok if you pick them.

So, men, here is the golden chance to tell us women your side of the story! This blog boasts of both male and female audience, so don't miss your opportunity to be heard! And give me valuable data for research! Talk about Occupational Hazards!!

You Know You've Started Earning When....

2011-03-02T10:13:00.000+05:30

You know you've started earning when

Your entire life depends on catching the 8.43 Churchgate slow from Andheri
You start having your breakfast in train. More imprtantly, you start having breakfast in the first place!
You know it's a festival day when you see an empty train!
Big festivals become more important to you than your birthday!
Your Facebook status updates have a lot of 'train' mentionings! {People, please be considerate when you criticise my train stat-ups....all that a single person can do in trains is tell the world about train travel}
Your phone becomes the be all and end all of life. You can make/recieve calls/messages, you can come online, you just can't blog so you start wanting a BlackBerry! {This post has been written as a draft SMS on my phone! So, if you want to read more blogs, please contribute generously to my BlackBerry Fund... read ahead about it}
For non bloggers, you start longing for a BlackBerry because now, you can afford it. Ok, whom are we kidding, it's just the freaking peer pressure to get one!!
Your Facebook addiction remains the same, just the means on coming online changes!
Your daily one-hour phone calls to your BFF is now a 10-minute call on weekends!
Your sleep is more dear to you than meeting friends.
You have to placate your friends by promising to go on a only-you-and-me date with them because they are upset with you for not having time {Sweta, this one's for you!}
You stop wearing red nail-polish, something that was a part of your identity {sob sob}
You move on to giving career advice from giving love/life gyaan! And people think you're really smart! Hehaw!!!
You know understand why your Dad and uncles paid so much attention to the Financial Budget every year
But still, the only thing yhat you are interested in the budget is knowing the tax slabs! And it hurts to pay 10 percentage points more tax than your friends. But you always have other friends who pay 10 percentage points more tax than you, so that's comforting!
You've never cared about the money pocketed by politicians until you see your salary with TDS!
You still have no clue where your hard earned money goes.... in someone's Swiss account, in making education free for rich OBC/ST/SCs, in making a bridge for 15 years, in redeveloping slums that still look the same, you're as clueless as a child in a topless bar!
You get to know aate dal ka bhav!
For people who've been reading my story, if you want to read further, please contribute for my BlackBerry fund, because that's the only way I'll be able to write. For people who've been reading, loving, going bonkers over my blog, you also, please do the same. If you guys can spend 200 bucks on mindless entertainment like Dabangg, you can definitely spend 500 bucks for intellectual entertainment from me! I accept only cash. Counterfeit notes not accepted! {I don't want to waste my hard earned salary on a phone, hence the fund!!}
The only time you have in a day to read the 52 unread messages you got during the day is on your way back, in train!! {Yes, I have a lot of fan mail...oops, fan messages to reply to!}
How much ever you don't like or don't want it to happen, money gets onto your head. A little bit does!!

Wow! So now the lady sitting across me thinks I have a boyfriend because I'm on the phone since I got in. Lady, I'm blogging and that's way cooler than having a boyfriend.... when you have a boyfriend, you have only one fan, but when you blog, you have a lot of fans!! So, this post is dedicated to you, Miss. Lady Sitting Across Me..... I don't have a boyfriend.... but if you are rich and have a hot 25 year old son, I may be interested! I won't mind a lot of fans + 1!!

Believito Ergo Sum

2011-02-06T16:11:00.000+05:30

*My first attempt to imitate Carrie Bradshaw's writing style!!*

People who know me, know one thing about me...that I'm a person who has some really strong opinions in life. If I believe in something, nothing ever will be able to shake my belief in it. I believed in fairytale romance and one broken relationship later, I still do. I still believe that one day there'll be a ~~Prince Charming~~ Edward Cullen coming to sweep me off my feet and give me the fairytale romance that I have always believed in. Life, I think is all about beliefs, hope and faith. In either of God or karma and most importantly, yourself.

I have seen that as we grow up, we become increasingly scared of things. As kids, we were never scared of running with our laces untied, even though we knew from previous bitter experiences that its outcome was always wounded knees. But as we grow up, one bitter experience scars us for life and we never try it again, calling it imbecile behavior or rather simply put, not learning from previous mistakes! Most people reading this post have studied Probability and you know that events in a person's life are random events and mathematically, the probability of occurrence of no two random events is the same!

OK, I'll cut the circumlocution and come straight to the point. The point I'm trying to make in this post is that why are we so scared of another relationship after a previous failed one. Why do we get so cynical and negative about life and love? So pessimistic that nothing ever will go right in our lives and not realize it even when Mr. Right is knocking, forget knocking, pounding on our door, waiting for us to break those walls we've built around us to let him in and thaw our frozen heart? Why are we so scared to take a small leap of faith?

The main reason for me writing this post is that I feel so disappointed when I see my friends behave cynically in life. Call it luck or whatever, all, and I mean ALL the people I've ever counselled or come close to have been the biggest cynics and pessimists of the world, and I'm the exact opposite! And if I were to bill them per hour for giving them positivity lectures, I'd be able to buy myself a diamond mine in Africa by now! Why don't you just fucking believe that something good will happen to you? And this is not Rhonda Brynes talking out of The Secret, this is me talking out of years of believing and surviving events that have crushed those beliefs and somehow coming back to believing again. It's not as difficult as understanding Calculus!

Do you know how vaccines are made and what they're made of? Vaccines are nothing more than a small dosage of the disease causing organism attenuated (weakened) and then given to us so that our body starts making antibodies, in small quantities to fight the organism. So when, there is a real infection where tens of thousands of these microbes attack you at once, your body is well prepared to combat the attack because your body knows exactly how to make the required antibody....it won't then, try permutations and combinations of various types to make the perfect antibody while you're sick and suffering.This is how you survive without even realizing that you're body has already dealt with a high risk organism. A failed relationship/heartbreak is a vaccine preparing you for what could be worse in life. Maybe you'll never catch the infection for which you've been vaccinated for, but if you do, you'll know exactly how to deal with it. You won't spend time and energy trying out permutations and combinations of things then!

Earlier, I said that life is about beliefs, hope and faith...but I was wrong. Life is about beliefs, hope, faith and a perspective that'll align the other three in a way that would make sense to you and add a meaning to your life.

P.S : Had written this years back and in the middle of these cheesy and corny lines, I hope you find something that may make you start believing again.

P.P.S : This post is dedicated to Manalee and Rucha ..... You've heard it earlier, but listen to it again, "Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."

What's Wrong With The World??

2011-02-04T00:06:00.001+05:30

If men have ego issues, then women have insecurity issues! Both of which are huge and insurmountable! A few days back, while on my way to college, I was in for a nice sight....a hot guy! Carter Road overflows with hot girls, but spotting a hot guy there is like spotting Hailey's Comet...once in 76 years! And, predictably, he was with a not-so-hot girlfriend {why God why} and as a response to stimuli, I stared at the guy only to get a very nasty stare from his girlfriend!! I mean come on man.... you can't expect to dress up a mannequin in a showroom in a Manish Malhotra outfit with Jimmy Choo shoes, a Louis Vuitton bag and expect women to not window shop!!! Women, I tell you, so freaking insecure about their men!! Actually, I can trace women's insecurity about their men to men's ego issues, but I'm not gonna bash men now...not when Valentine's Day is round the corner and I have no sign of a Valentine in my life!!

Now, Valentine's Day reminds me of a stupid little contest I held through my Facebook status update to find out if there's any intellectual single guy I might've missed till now {Oh yeah, Valentine's Day brings out all the desperation and depression in single women} but no one got it!! I had put up a witty and smart stat up, 'Monogamy is the great casualty of beauty', to see if any guy understands it, but none did!!! I mean where have all the smart men gone, come on, aren't you tired of chasing blondes and bimbettes?!!? It's such a magnificent line! I got it from a TV series called White Collar.... women, watch it for Neal Caffrey.... you'll thank me later! He'd make for a good virtual Valentine for V-Day!!

I don't understand why is the entire world getting inked?? Has pain stopped paining to people? My Facebook wall was flowing with people's first tattoo pics the other day and it was irritating! What I don't understand is why would someone want to go through pain to scar them permanently... Nothing in life is permanent, so why should a tattoo be! Don't people get bored of it after a time? What if you do, but then you can't do anything about it!! There was a time when I also wanted to ink my guy's name on my hand as my first wedding anniversary gift to him but then better sense prevailed and now the only self-inflicted pain I see myself going through is labour!! Tattoos are like the BlackBerry phones....everybody and anybody has it, whether it suits their personality or no!!

I also fail to know what's wrong with kids these days! Apparently there's a bill waiting to be passed in the parliament that would make non-penetrative sex between 12 year olds legal! WTF! Aren't 12 year olds supposed to watch Pokemon or whichever stupid cartoon shows that are being aired these days! {I really feel sad for their Cartoon Network...CN had better shows while I was a kid!} And this news comes when I'm still trying to gulp down the fact that my 12 year old cousin has started abusing and clicking pictures wherein he's showing his middle finger...!! I didn't know of all these things until I was 16! Kids these days are more horny the the horny pigeon couple who've hijacked my room {since almost 6 months and they're still not done....guess they're on a honeymoon!} for fornicating and irritating me with their horny grunts! ... I don't understand why are the kids in a hurry to grow up! Childhood is better than anyone's jawaani! I'll end this post by that old cliched message....so kids, listen up... wounded knees are better than a broken heart....so be happy with your Pokemon while I enjoy watching the good ol' Tom and Jerry.....naa.... I'll get back to watching Neal Caffrey!!

How To Identify A Gujju In A Crowd - Part II

2011-01-19T17:35:00.000+05:30

*Disclaimer : All the following points have been written for the sole purpose of entertainment. So, all my fellow Gujju aunts and uncles especially ones with 24-25 year old handsome,rich and intelligent sons, please don't take any offence! {And if the aforementioned people are looking for a sundar and sushil bahu, I can send in my CV janamkundli too}*

Here's how to identify a Gujju in a crowd ka sequel. Read the first part here.

For Gujjus, it's socially acceptable to burp, belch and fart in public and no apology is necessary in the end.
Gujju elders embarrass Gujju young people by publicly disclosing/asking their salaries. If your salary is less than people younger to you, you have to die in shame. And if it's more, then you'll have to fake-smile and promise random people whom you've met for the first time a free party!
If you're a non-Gujju, then in all probabilities, in your wedding, your Gujju classmate will come with a spouse and a kid (could be kids too!!!!) because he/she would be married way before you!
Gujjus are well known for their love of food. When they go to see the Eiffel Tower in Paris, they aren't floored by the sheer magnificence of it, they aren't even interested in the beautiful French women or wine, all they're interested is in knowing whether they'd get Jain Samosas in Paris or not!!
And this one is a Jain special. Jain Gujjus can make a Jain imitation dish out of anything! Be it Jain Pizzas, Jain Tacos, Jain Chinese....you name it and we have a Jain version of the dish. I have full faith on my Jain aunties that one day they'll even come up with Jain Sushi!!
Gujju men have the biggest egos on Earth. Hence, when they see Hindi movie songs being made in Punjabi and other regional languages like Bhojpuri and the South Indian languages making a huge wave in the entertainment sector, the Gujju egos get hurt. So, they also vow to fight back and make Gujarati a popular language amongst the masses. So, the make videos like the following. The first one is Spiderman Video - Part I. It is hilarious!!! But it is in Gujarati as spoken in Surat, so not many non Gujjus would find it funny!! But, for Gujjus, you'll fall off your chair, trust me, my Mom almost did!! Ditto for Spiderman Video - Part II. This video is SRK's Dard-e-Disco in Gujarati. Wait till the second para.......it's tooooo good! Here, I fell off my chair while watching it!! But the killer-est of them all is the Gujju version of the Punjabi song, Amplifier, by Imran Khan. You have to, have to, and absolutely have to hear the Gujju version!!!! It's too fucking funny! (I used the F word purely for alliteration purposes. I don't abuse on my blog!!) See the video here

P.S 1 : I was thinking of more points to be put it this post, but I've realised that I've written everything that's ever to be written about Gujjus! So, no more Gujju bashing on my blog, due to the sheer exhaustion of points to be made.

P.S 2 : This post is dedicated to my friend Aamir, who was patient enough to listen to my non-sensical talks all afternoon and being an inspiration for me to return to blogging and continuing it! (Yeah, I know, I haven't ever told this to you, so this is your moment, bask in the glory!!!)

P.S 3 : This post is also dedicated to Rizvi friends, Taranjit, Taher, Sohail and Sweta for always listening to my crap, putting up with it and still loving me!!Also, thank you for reinstating my belief in friendship and all the goodness that still exists in the world!! Love you all.... you guys shall be invited for my wedding to have the Jain Sushi!!!

Wanna Make A Fraandship?

2011-01-14T00:08:00.001+05:30

Since the advent of social network websites like Orkut and Facebook, people have been flooded with 'friendship' requests. I'm not at all one of the hot types, but still, I get weird friend requests.So, I don't even wanna know what the hot types must be going through!! Here's a list of some of the requests I've received.All of them are real. It is their creativity talking, not mine!!! And every request is by a different person!! Wow! I'm so much in demand! I love it!!

hey nupur really sorry to send this message i dont weather u the same nupur i met in shimmer [malad] on the 31st was waiting for u 4 hours out side shimmer please accept my friend request if u the same nupur and if not am sorry for the message call me on **********. {Now, with this person what I don't understand is how could he wait for 4 hours for a person and still not be sure of how she looks. Come on man, you could've given a better, more credible excuse!}
Hiiiii,,,,,,,,,
Can We Know Each Other
&
Then Let's Decide 4 a Friendship {People like him give birth to the concept of 'arranged friendship'}
Hi.....Wary nice your photo.....&.....your smile....{ 3 different people have sent me requests having the same phrase 'WARY nice smile/pic. Wary is different from very and it means cautious...so I feel me smile/pic makes people cautious of befraanding me!}
Hi, Nupur....
This is Sheetal from Mumbai. Can we be friends. {This was the limit!! Girls adding me!!}
hi thr howz life
can i know ab u
ur smile is ur asset {My smile is my asset and my nail scratchings to other people a liability that I have to pay off!!}
{This one was a killer piece} hey miss bhayain./ hie. ssup ??/ how u doin..?? i wish everything fine at ur end..!!!well this is mohit from kolkata.. shifted to mumbai a couple of month back..!!! was jst goin thru frds profiles. .somehow came acros u.. was delightd to knw th cute gal is from mumbai.. hope we can b in touch..

by th way m not goin to say like all othr weird pickups... like hii ... ur beautiful.. ur sexy.. ur eyes r gorgeous n all bla bla... nor wil i say like to b frds... i understand u mst oftn b experiencing this.. sometimes u must be amused by the weird starts.. sometimes very irritated.. n u wonder from where out of blue someone is adding u n want to b frds..! bt i wud rather say... lets start off with a conversation... gradually we may knw each othr... n in the process we may end up being gud frds.. may be not... wat say ??? i do expect a reply from ya.. {People have time to type so much for random people and I thought I was the only one was jobless right now!And the bozzo can't even Ctrl C+Ctrl V my name properly!!}
hey hi dear .sorry ti dist u .i no u dont know me.actually me new on fb n here for good frdship .no other thoughts.i m not asking urr number or address.just a small chat on net thats it .n i dont think so is there any harm to chat on net.pls do send me frd request n be my frd.pls give me one chance n reply me back n ha u look very pretty.sorry if i hurt u in anyways {He's active enough to type so much shit but lazy to send a friend request and expects I would do that! Wishful thinking, dude!!}
hey hi nupur.........cn i ask one things? {This is the only request I replied to. Me : Yeah, go on, ask me ONE THINGS and then I never got a reply back!! I'm still wondering what was the ONE THINGS he wanted to ask me!}
hi nupur u look hot yr..........frnds???????? {Works wonders for my ego!!}
hi nupur
howz ya?
i wanna knw abt window live massenger ........can u halp me abt dis {I didn't know I was paid by Bill Gates to be the 24x7 live technical support to random despos on Facebook!}
Hi,
I want to be your friend. I would like to invite on Farmville. {How could Farmville and Facebook stay away from one another?}
hi
hwo r u?
kya huwa phechane nhi kya
abhi kuch din phele hum aapke collej me aye the
tabhi humne apko dekhe the
so plz add mi {I'm wondering how this person came to know of my name just by looking at me!! Total creep!! And apparently it turns out that he's my junior in college and complains that I don't meet him !! Total creep raised to n!}
hello goddess....i wish i cud kneel down in front of u...on my knees.....and kiss ur used sandals.....:) {OK. Kiss my sandals and then buy me a new pair!!}
Hey ...I would love to talk to you and know you. Hope we can be friends.

Just a bit about me-

I am into consulting and completing my last sem of MBA from University of Melbourne. Right now doing my final summers projects with a company in Mumbai.

I love partying, reading, movies and long drives :)

Well …tell me about yourself? what do u do? What do u like to do on weekends? Etc.

Look fwd for ur reply. Till then take care. {Perfect ad for shaadi.com!}

Happy laughing!!

Let's Uncomplicate!

2011-01-11T00:38:00.006+05:30

1+1=2 was simple.

x² + 9x +20=0 was simple too where x could be -4 or -5.

But, man (this is not a feminist generalization, I mean human beings in general!!) has to complicate what is simple, so he comes up with scary formulae like

-b ± sqrt (b² - 4ac)

x = ------------------------------ to complicate matters!

And as we all know how greedy man is, he wasn't satisfied with screwing up Maths just with Quadratic Equations, so he had to invent Trigonometry, Calculus and the likes!! Making life miserable for Biology loving people!

My basic point of getting Maths on my blog (for the first time) is to drive home the point how we, humans love to complicate things and relations in our lives. We just aren't happy with simple things in life! There's a small adrenaline junkie in all of us, which makes us complicate things that can stay rather uncomplex.

And growing up adds fuel to the fire. Weren't our childhood relations better and far simpler than what we have now? No wonder, they say, that best friends from school are best friends for life. That's because we weren't afraid of saying 'Sorry'. Anybody and everybody who got a chocolate was our friend. And now when someone gives us a chocolate for no reason, just like how K-serials vamp speak aloud at 110 decibels in their brains, we talk inside ours, wondering what is the person's motive behind giving us a free ka chocolate. Is it because the person likes me or is it 'politics', is it buttering up for a favour or is it drugged so that one of our kidneys can be removed later on *roll eyes like a vamp* (yes, as a writer, I have absurd justifications for an activity...it just shows how imaginative I am!!). A chocolate is a chocolate yaar. It's the fucking consumerism more than the want of eating a chocolate that's making you buy it! (50 bucks for Silk and 80 for Bournville is definitely consumerism.....not an an impulse purchase!!)

There are many friends we make, many, we lose. Why can't we go and shake the lost friends, slap, if the need be to get them back in our lives? This is what even Shahrukh Khan said on Koffee With Karan about his issues with Farah Khan and Salman Khan! There's something that's definitely stopping us. And I'm sure that 'something's is nothing but our egos, you-are-wrong-too and the 'I-had-told-you-so' from the friend that we don't want to listen to. Sometimes, it becomes too late to get the person back, maybe the person has moved on, maybe there's a new 'love interest' in the person's life, making everything else seem redundant to that person or maybe that person is waiting for you to to make the first move.

I run the risk of being a hyprocrite when I say that I think 'friendship' is more pure relation than 'love', but this is what I've realised in the past one year because, one, you can't get over love easily and two, you just can't do it without friends! But the most important fact remains that you may eventually get over love....but there are certain (lost) friends you can't get over. I have one too! However hard you may try to repress those memories, they just don't get repressed! You may talk once in a while, laugh or even maybe cry, but then that spark is missing. The chemistry, along with Botany and Microbiology is dead! And probably you're just trying to avoid a confrontation by not saying that out loud!!

Earlier I blamed growing up for screwed up relations. What I forgot was the amount of responsibilities that come onto our shoulder, the changed priorities and the lack of time that we have that takes a toll on relationships too. But, having said that, you can still manage time once in a while for people who mattered and who mattered once! Life, methinks, is not about being busy and not having time, it's about wanting to make the time and taking the efforts to keep certain people in our lives. After all, it's very hard when you have to....and very easy when you want to! How much ever big feminist people may think I am (which I am not!), I think maintaining friendships with men is far simpler than the ones with women!! Come on Ladies, we all know that men are a little less complicated than us!!

P.S : This post is dedicated to that one person whose loss in my life is something I can never get over. Maybe she's over me, or maybe she's not, whatever is the case, for me, 10th August 2006 will always be a day I'd remember and 10th October 2009, a day I'd want to forget! (Women and dates..... you just can't help it!!)

P.P.S : Special thanks to Rucha Shukla for pushing to write something as I had not written for quite some time and to Rahul Mahant for helping me with the Quadratic Equation.... you need to have engineer friends to solve your Math-related queries!!!

Old Romances Die Hard

2010-12-18T00:05:00.000+05:30

You know, there are phases in a person's life when one loses himself or herself in the crowd and then, later on,begins to ponder over his/her identity and individuality which had been lost. For me, reading and blogging/writing was my identity. For me it was not Cogito Ergo Sum (I Think, Therefore I am), but Bloggito Ergo Sum! And then, suddenly all this stopped! Thankfully, I started blogging some months back, but the lack of reading still shows on me! I read a couple of books intermittently but that satisfaction one gets from reading a book is missing. The want to be voluntarily socially ostracized while reading a book is missing!! And I'm so happy, that after almost 18 months I'm now back to being the voracious reader that I once was! I'm currently reading Superpower: The Amazing Race Between China's Hare and India's Tortoise and since a week, I've hardly come online and hardly received/made phone calls to people which is quite an achievement for me!! There's a different high in reading a good book....and this one is a cracker of a book...!! Life for me would be heaven if I were to be locked up in a library for the rest of my life (with a daily supply of Subway sandwiches and/or Pizza Hut pizzaz!). Who needs a man for company, when books are such un-complicated and low-maintenance substitutes and they put in some sense in your head unlike the case with men! ('Men' have become the new 'Gujjus' for me...I have to take potshots at them wherever possible!). Old romances die hard....and I just got reunited with my first love!

Talking about old romances, no matter how much people may ridicule me about liking Edward Cullen, my thing for him just doesn't go! Edward Cullen is to women what Angelina Jolie is to men.... no matter what camera angle is used, we'll never find those lips sexy and you shall never find Edward's vampirey smile sexy!!! The thing why women like him is because he's this perfect blend of a chivalrous gentleman who'd die for Bella and this living on the edge, forbidden, bad boy who'd kill for Bella (and Bella too, if the kiss would go too deep!!!) And yes, it is true, girls totally fall for bad boys. There is a totally different level of attraction at work in this case! We may not have testosterone, but we do have adrenaline! This is one reason VJ Rannvijay has done so well in his career! The entire bad boy+biker+adventure sports+piercing thing totally has women swooning for him! And I think he's the only guy who won't be stoned by the fashion police for wearing a tie and blazer over three-fourths because he carries it off so well!! Or maybe I'm the only one deeply in love with him to think like this! The only thing missing in him is tattoos. And this is taken care by Virat Kohli in the Fasttrack ads! I love this ad for sheer attitude he's throwing around although I still don't get the concept of Move On that has been adopted by Fasttrack! Virat Kohli is no Irfan Pathan for me, but he comes close to being my first cricketer crush besides Irfan Pathan in 7 years! Irfan may not be playing for India, but I still like him....Old romances die hard.....didn't I just say that!!!

Talking about old romances, I'm tempted to talk about how stunning Madhuri Dixit looks even at 45. And that smile….it still dazzles more than Edward dazzles in the sun!! And looking at her on TV makes you realize that there was a gap left when she quit acting which still hasn’t been filled. With Saawariya and Dilli 6, I thought Sonam had the acting talent, smile and dancing skills to be the next Madhuri, but now, I feel it was such an erroneous conclusion I was coming to! The ‘style diva’ and ‘fashionista’ tags have been taken rather seriously by her and she’s given them more importance than acting well! Two words that I have for Sonam are vaaydi and chaapli! And I’m still trying to figure out the English counterparts to these Gujju words! Imran Khan was right, Sonam should focus more on movies than magazine covers! Anyways, coming back to Madhuri, I feel proud of one more thing…. Microbiologists have varied talents that go beyond looking into the microscopes!

Old romances also brings up a good question on how to deal when you’re constantly being asked about your ex. Hats off to Deepika Padukone for constantly bearing it and then finally showing off her fangs on Koffee with Karan! But I still feel that silence is the best weapon, it truly is golden and dignified. And most importantly, it hits men where it hurts the most…..not the area…but the male ego! I feel that these actors act better off screen than on screen. I can’t imagine myself talking about my ex right after my break-up with a straight face on national TV without going into a trance!! And then knowing for a fact that he left you for a hotter chick! Ouch, that hurts!! I never like Deepika till now, but her appearance on Koffee with Karan has earned her one fan (and free publicity on my blog too!) She’s been strong and then handsomely rewarded too with the not so handsome looks-wise but veryyyyy handsome money-wise Siddharth Mallya! But she still is one lucky girl for sure.... one scion dumped her and she landed right in the arms of another!

Romance new or old, these days deals with lust more than love, I think! I mean celebs are openly talking about their sex lives on TV, people roam around colleges with love bites on necks….all this makes me think if I’m the only 16^th century fossil around who thinks that sex is best left between two people and a closed door! And then, Indian Television is flooded with making-you-feel-sick-until-you-puke condom ads like this one! The tag-line for this brand I reckon is Excitement that she can’t hide and I feel like asking the brand manager if it’s only the woman who gets excited and not the man…and if that’s the case then I think as a part of Selling Promotions, they need to give Viagra free with the condoms!! Indians make the best ads in the world when it comes to financial products/services and insurance things but why do we suck at making condom ads? Internationally, I believe, condom ads are one of the most creative ones! Check this and this out. They’re really interesting without being vulgar or gross.

People say one never forgets his/her first love....it's true to a large extent but I think given time, one can definitely move on to such a great extent that the memories of that first love will only bring a smile on your face and make you think as to how stupid you were at that age! It is possible to get over your first love, and just like that even having a good romantic story for yourself is possible. Old romances do die hard....you should know how and when to choke it so that a new one can come :-)

P.S : For people not watching Koffee with Karan, please do some work to increase your general awareness and start watching the show. For starters, youtube the videos to know what I'm talking about!

Dummies Guide To Gossiping!!

2010-12-05T02:19:00.001+05:30

What is Gossip?

Wikipedia says, Gossip is idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. Me says, Gossiping is just passing information from donor gossiper to a recipient gossiper about a gossipee, done to increase the recipient gossiper's knowledge base!

Who can Gossip?

Technically, only women used to gossip in the olden days. But now, men gossip more than women! Atleast in my college they do! All my gossip sources are men! They know who's going around with whom, who broke up with whom, the reasons for it....everything!! I think this is because women trust men to keep secrets, and now we know what a wonderful job they're doing out of it!!

When to Gossip?

You can gossip anytime you want. All you need is a gossipee and a donor gossiper with good credibility and a huge reserve of gossip information. For girls, the best time to gossip is during a night over or a girls day out! But there are some exceptions who can gossip even before their board/university exams!

Types of Gossip:

Fact Gossip : This is proven information which is been merely passed to increase the recipient gossiper's worldly knowledge. E.g: You tell your NRI aunt that Deepika Padukone broke up with Ranbir Kapoor.
Rumour Gossip : This is unproven information, which arises either due to hearsay, gut feeling or random hints passing around. E.g: You telling your NRI aunt that Ranbir cheated on Deepika because of the recent Koffee With Karan episodes.{His idea of that 'Low Battery' thing was totally innovative and cool!!}

Gossiping Associations, if any :

This one is made by me and my gossiper friends, so it's not official, but we're still very proud of it. It is called : Association of The Principled Gossipers where we only pass information with a warning about its type and never ever pass a character certificate on the gossipee unless of course it's a Fact Gossip that she's a bitch/slut, until then, she's innocent until proven guilty! Now I'm sounding like a big biatch!!!

You know you're into gossiping when :

Your sentences begin with "You're not gonna believe this" or "Guess what"
Your sentences end with "What are you saying?" or "This can't be true!"
The look on your face is always let's-jump-off-the-sixth-floor when you come to know that even girls whom you thought would die single have boyfriends while you're still single!
You ping random alphabets to your friends when they're online on their BlackBerry so that they would get irritated and tell you the gossip they're so fiercely protecting!!
You feel constipated when you can't get a source who'd convert a Rumour Gossip into a Fact Gossip.
And to try to do the above yourself, you put up suggestive status updates on Facebook and then try to infer things from the gossipee's likes/comments!
You keep in touch with certain people only because they're a powerhouse of gossip!

Advantages of Gossiping :

You feel a hormonal rush after gossiping. A feel-good kinda feeling! Guys who are troubled by their girlfriend's crankiness during PMS should most definitely do this!
Your people and communication skills improve.
Knowledge is knowledge and no knowledge goes waste!

Disadvantages of Gossiping

You can never know what people gossip about your friends because they know you are their friend. (if you don't get it, try getting a famous/most-gossiped-about friend and you'll know what I'm talking)
You may feel depressed about the fact that the slutty friends of your have a constant stream of boyfriends, the ugly and fat ones also have a boyfriend and you don't!
You come to know things about yourself....some may amuse you by the sheer amount of rumour in it and some might disturb you for weeks!!!

This is dedicated to all my friends with whom I gossip. And one piece of advice for you guys.....please don't ever get famous and become a well-known celebrity.....because that would tempt me into making a lot of money by writing a tell-all book on you!!! And that would be all Fact Gossip!!

This post is also dedicated to the amazing night over I had at my friend Sweta's place where we realised that a night over can be a hit without alcohol or getting drunk and being single gives you a happily sorted life!!

As a thank you gesture for having survived my incessant pings on your BB, Utaib, I'll tell you that I'm not influencing/spoiling the girls of your class..... so stop getting jealous/paranoid about it! See, now this mention of you on my blog will make you a celebrity amongst them! And if one of them asks you out and you get married to her....you know what you'll name your first-born!!

I'd like to end this post by a quote from one of my BFFs, "Boyfriends are for fucking...girl-friends are for gossiping and having REAL fun!!"

One last thing, all the data on my blog was random shit that came in my mind, so if you were doing a project on Gossiping and Google redirected you here....bad luck, mate. Also, I could've put the warning on top, but then I would've lost out on a reader! Sorry, I have full sympathy for your misery! MBA is making me a big bitch!!

A Bunch Of Colorblind People Hatching Eggs worth 300 Crore Rupees!

2010-11-30T01:56:00.003+05:30

When I saw this logo on the front page of the Times Of India some days back, I thought Vodafone has gone into a re-positioning exercise and has launched a new logo. It made perfect sense for me, a layperson, to think of it as Vodafone's new logo, as the letter looks like a fancy representation of the letter V and it had Vodafone's colours - red and white in it. And then I thought that rather than having spent millions of Rupees into this exercise, Vodafone should've concentrated on improving its (sucking) service. But then, when I turned the page and read, "Dil Jo Chaahe, Paas Laye, Airtel", I had a WTF moment!! Even with a MBA(Marketing) {If you have any job in the media/advertising/market research sector, let me know, I'll send you my CV!!} degree that's still on its way, I can say that this 300 crore Rupee exercise is utter stupidity!!! Why, for one, why is Airtel using the colours of its closest and biggest competitor Vodafone? Second, the graphic design for the new logo has been done by a London based brand agency called Brand Union and they say, the logo is the letter is A in the small case. In which language is what I'm asking!!! This clearly looks like V to me!

Too close for comfort, I must say!

When I asked my family members to guess the brand with the new logo, they all said Vodafone. And I'm sure that's what everyone's going to say irrespective of the Marketing lectures they've attended/not attended! And if a semi-MBA can point it out, what is the Marketing division of Airtel, JWT and Brand Union doing? Are they colour-blind people hatching eggs?!? Come on, now, Airtel, you need to give me a job {I'm so desperate for a job!!}...at least the ideas suggested by me won't cost you 300crore Rupees! I'm still trying to fathom why would've Airtel done what it did. Maybe because number portability is coming soon, they thought they'd confuse people and get some of them who were going to go to Vodafone {who'd want to go to Vodafone in the first place is a big question}! Ludicrous reason, yes it is! But less than Airtel's top management who sanctioned a 300 crore Rupee budget for this insanity!

Actually the new Airtel logo looks like Videocon's green logo been dipped in red paint and made more curvy! Had this been ICICI Bank's new logo, I would've still bought it, as it looks a fancier version of its current logo. {you'll have to concentrate on the a of the Airtel logo to be able to see a little resemblance to the i of the ICICI Bank....though the shade of red is different, it does look similar}

But, the TVC (made by JWT) for the 3G services offered by Airtel are really nice. I liked the 'Endless Goodbye' ad. It conveys the message that you'll never be away from your loved one for too long if you're using Airtel 3G and has done it very effectively using romance.The ad is cute, very mushy and romantic...the ad would work wonders with the girls just like how this ad worked great with the girls even when it was a bike ad (and the guys of course went all saala c*****a for the guy in the ad....yeah, that's what men do when they see another guy being romantic to his girlfriend!!). Also, Airtel's 3G ads are way better than DoDoDo...oops Docomo's ads!!

Now, that we are talking about the telecom players, Idea has done a neat job in being the first one to advertise about number portability. The ads are crisp and germane to the reasons why one would want to change his/her service provider and has an ad for each of the three reasons -bad network, bad customer service and non-transparent billing {Vodafone sucks in the last department.... actually all the three! OMG, I'm never getting a job at Vodafone now!}. But I think, Idea is doing social service for all the telecom players as no one knows where customers are going to make a bee-line as all of them suck equally! But, at least, Idea made the first move, so it will definitely have some advantage.

P.S : I've written Marketing stuff for the first time on my blog and this is totally not my genre of writing, so please let me know how much I suck/rock at it!!!

Not So Common Cold!

2010-11-25T02:01:00.003+05:30

The worst illness to have hit humans is the common cold! The only thing common about it is that its affects the entire human race but there's no beeping cure for it! And that's because the virus that causes the cold mutates so quickly, that no medicines would be able to kill them. (I'm surprised I still remember my Microbiology!!). So, as always, my exam time is jinx time, and as per the jinx, I HAVE to fall ill during exams. And this time, it's the beeping cold! I normally don't abuse on my blog, but suffer from a cold for a week and you'll know what I'm talking about!! But it's just so weird.... when I was doing Biotech, my friends and I have literally gulped down live cultures of Salmonella (causative agent for Typhoid and food poisoning) and E.coli (certain strains cause food poisoning), but never for once fell sick, but now, when we're all out of the lab and miles away from these pathogens, we're falling sick!! Life is so ironical! I must admit, working between burners was more fun than interpreting data from morbid Excel sheets! Grass is always greener on the other side of the court, but having played on both the courts, I must say, both the courts suck!! Be a spectator, don't get educated at all , because all education does is teach you for 1/4th of your life how to ruin the remaining 3/4th!

Coming back to the topic of common cold, the only good thing about having a cold is that your voice becomes husky and you start sounding sexy!!! I was talking to a friend of mine in this husky, sexy voice, when jealous of my new found husky, sexy voice, she told me that kissing is an unproven medicine for cold! She had found it out with her boyfriend, so she suggested it to me, to which I felt like thanking her for chidkoing namak on my jala. First, I'm single, second, I'm suffering from cold and you suggest kissing as a medicine! How much more sadistic could you be!! So, all the couples reading this, please try it, if I get more people to prove that this data was statistically significant, I'll quicken my process of finding a boyfriend!

So, along with D-Cold, Crocin, Vicks, now even kissing is off the list for the medicines that can cure my cold. On a night over with my friends, where everyone was gorging on ice-cream and I had to admire their beautiful faces whiles they were doing so, my friends urged me to have a scoop of ice-cream, as, according to them, thanda hi thande ko maarta hain! Hence I tried having melted ice-cream, but to no avail. In fact you can't even taste half of your food because your taste buds have gone on a long vacation! Finally, I drank a glass full of cold Pepsi, just irritated that nothing was helping my cold, and miraculously, my cold was cured! No kidding!! I was surprised myself! So, now apart from making you obese and helping your Mom clean toilets better, Pepsi can cure cold!!! Oh man! Indra Nooyi, now owes me a couple of million dollars for this serendipitous product feature that I came across!! I'm so happy, most of my one week cold has gone now, and so has my husky sexy voice :-(

I'm also happy, that finally Pepsi brand managers have decided to go back to the old Pepsi PET bottle. The bottle they were using before reverting back was really ugly!! Not uglier than Antilia, but still, ugly enough to make people buy Coke!! I don't know why my Dad still disagrees with me that Antilia is an ugly building. I mean, it looks like a Tetris game ended abruptly!!! Seriously, MasterCard is right, there are certain things money can't buy. And one of them is classy taste! I think I should end this topic here, or else I'll be accused of being anti-Gujjus and anti-men all the time!!

P.S : I'm NOT a feminist, and can never be one. Hopeless, incurable romantics can never be feminists!! And I'm not anti-Gujju as well, I just love to make fun of them

How Does She Do It???

2010-11-17T13:07:00.005+05:30

I don't believe that I'm admitting this, but I must say that, I agree with men when they say it's really difficult to understand a woman! Being a woman myself, I don't understand them! Because it's more than just 2 hormones calling the shots for them! What that is, is something mankind or womankind will never know! From where does she get strength which is inversely proportional to her size? And how does she fucking do it!

For every time her crush got crushed when he made an appearance with his girlfriend, she has the hope, faith and the patience to wait for her Edward Cullen who'd want to show her off in front of the entire world. (The silver Volvo is just a bonus *wink*)

She may be one of the top 10% brains in the country but she'll be stupid enough to go against the worldly wisdom and practicality and actually reject a guy with an empire for a guy without one, only because he said he loved her!

For every time she cribbed about abdominal pains during PMS, she has the strength to go through hours of labour to deliver a kid. ( I just became a masi! Yay!!!)

For every time she sat on a staircase begging her guy to not leave her and go, she finds the strength to pick herself up within months and say no to go back to him when he is begging her to take him back!

For every night she cries herself to sleep, she has the guts the next morning to let her ex-guy's phone ring in her hand and let it become a missed call. A very dear friend does this everyday, and I still don't know how she does it!

For every girl who carries on with a shitty relationship, consoling herself, that maybe one day her guy would stop being the retard in tin foil and start being her knight in shining armour, there's another girl who has the guts to get out of a shitty relationship even if it means carrying the tattoo of your ex's initials all your life....and carrying emotional AND physical baggage of that failed relationship forever! (I really bow down to Deepika Padukone for this one!)

For every girl who grew up imagining a guy like Raj for her, she has the nerves of steel to make a compromise and marry a guy like Kuljeet. (You won't get this one unless you're a die hard Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge fan!)

They say, that girls are more emotional and get attached to things and people more easily than men, still, since centuries, they've had the heart to leave it all up one fine day to pick up another life at an age when a human stops learning, she's learning to live life anew!

She may not have the physical strength to hit you back, were you to hit her, but she'll have a heart big enough to wipe your tears were you to feel guilty about it or have an explanation ready to give to people if they ask her about the marks.

For every time she nagged you for not meeting/saying I-love-you/calling back/replying to a text 17 times a day, she'll have the strength to keep a stone on her heart, a tearless smile on her face and be your strength while bidding a goodbye to you if you're going abroad and not returning for another couple of years.
(Dooriyan bhi hain zaroori.....zaroori hain yeh dooriyan!! Amazing song from Break Ke Baad)

The laws of nature say that two sautans can never be friends and they are always vying for each other's blood, but then, in some remote corner of Earth, you'll find a Mariam giving her life so that Laila could make a new start and have a happy life for herself.... (So beautifully written in Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns)

She may be scared of cockroaches, but when she comes to running a home/company/nation, she'll do a much better job then most men.... and she can multitask, rule with an iron fist, be the only MAN in a cabinet full of men, quasi run the country where there are 28 small countries in itself, a country in which she is considered a 'foreigner' and do it with ease!

She may have the means, resources and the audience to defame you in public by waging an online war, but she won't....because even for a blabbermouth, silence, is sometimes golden. Wars are not waged when only one opponent has an edge over the other....that's not how Librans fight!

Who's A BFF??

2010-11-04T12:39:00.002+05:30

A lot of guys have been asking me what a BFF is....so here's a low-down on what a BFF is and who is BFF is. It is Best Friends Forever, by the way!

Who is a BFF?

A BFF is a person who knows you inside out
A BFF is a person who can understand your silence and knows when your leave-me-alone needs a hug and when your leave-me-alone actually needs you to be left alone
A BFF is a person with whom you can sit at Juhu beach for hours, staring into nothingness and yet feel that you've had the best conversation of your life
A BFF is a person for whose birthday gift, you won't mind fighting with your other best friends....only because you want the gift to be in a certain way!
A BFF is a person who can have a crush on all your crushes, but yet never fight about!
A BFF is a person who can say YUCK to your crush and you not pulling her hair out ! And then, you start having second thoughts about him!
A BFF is a person who has to be the first person given a call to by your husband when your water breaks!!
A BFF is a person who has to pick up your call within 5 rings....even if you're on your honeymoon!
A BFF is a person who would never mind you being a perpetual kabab-main-haddi when she's out with her guy and you're also there!!! Because she knows that you two go as a package deal!
A BFF is a person who would laugh with you about all your guy problems 5 years after you've had them!
A BFF is a person with whom you'd strike all your baby-sitting deals with!
A BFF is a person who'd draw 200+ diagrams of different forms of leaves,roots and flowers for your Botany journal for you....so that you can flirt with your guy!
A BFF would be the first person to come and meet you after you've back come to the country after a 3 month vacation!
A BFF is a person who would know your darkest secret but will never spill it out. Not even for a tell-all book on you, were you to get famous!
A BFF is a person whom you can tell things about yourself which you wouldn't even tell your guy!
A BFF is the only person whom you can tell, "I'm losing it, I need a psychiatrist!" and she's say, "You don't need anyone while I'm still there!"
A BFF is a person who'd clean up all the mess you've made of yourself and do it again and again until you learn cleaning up after your acts!
A BFF is a person who would wipe out her break up tears so that she can console you about your break up!
A BFF is a person is the only person who could make you laugh while your eyes are still shedding tears!!
A BFF is a person who'd say YES when you ask her if your ex would marry his new girlfriend and you'd still have a smile on your face because you know that you have something those two don't have......your BFF!Yes, A BFF is the result of good karma in your previous birth!
Friends, best friends, boyfriends come and go. A BFF is like your parents.....they come and never go!

I read a research somewhere which said that women are at a lower risk of death due to depression as compared to men. And I think, the reason is that women are more prone to TALK about their lives to their BFFs than men! This post is dedicated to all my BFFs!