GM People & Things

Now that I broke my back over studying Genetically Modified (GM) stuff, I was wondering how life would be if there were a lot of things that were GM..... apart from GM mice and GM sheep, which I see no use of (to me, at least!). So I'd like to enlist a couple of GM things that would make this world a better place...

*Statutory warning : This post is a result of a serious exam hangover after writing Paper 3 and the scare of writing paper 4!

GM Parents: They are modified not to freak out looking at their kids' phone bills (esp if their kid talks A LOT and if Vodafone doesn't really belong to them!)

GM Siblings: They are modified to do all your work without cribbing, without whining, without hitting you, without complaining to Mommy... basically they are like your genie!! (If you find my next post from a hospital bed, I assume you to be smart enough to be able to guess what must've happened to me!)

GM Best Friends: They're modified not to like the guy you like!!

GM Boy/Girl friends: They're modified to not whack and churn your brains to the limit that the gray matter and the neurons form a jelly like curd and the cerebro spinal fluid separates like whey! (Yeah, you guessed it right, this idea struck me when I was studying Cheese making.... Camemberti, to be precise!)

GM Crush: They're modified to like you back!!!

GM Relatives: They're modified not to tell you how much you've grown up... if you're done with your studies, so that they can have one more wedding to hog in!

GM Teachers: They are modified such that they don't put you to sleep (quite a task this one's gonna be) and they don't complicate stuff and teach it!!

GM Husbands: They're a genetic combination in such a way that they have Dhoni's calm, Brett Lee's hair, John Abraham's abs, SRK's wit and sarcasm, Hrithik's eyes, Irfan's smile, Abhishek's height, should sing like Bryan Adams, dance like Ranbir... and most importantly... should be a Gujju!!! (The last condition is to keep you out, Aanch!)

GM Blogging: It blogs a thought the minute it comes to your mind... no need to type, no need to proof read... no need to run a spell check... after all thoughts are above all such mortal things..!
GM Remote: It changes a channel the minute you think about changing a channel... you hurt your poor finger by incessantly pressing keys?
GM Eyes during exams: They're like Viki's (the robot from Small Wonder) eyes.... you just need to flip all the pages of a book to read it!
GM Question Papers: They're modified to mutate quickly and mutate according to the needs of the student reading the question paper! ( I so needed this for paper 4!)

GM Pen: (If Russell doesn't turn in his grave reading this one, then I'll stop blogging!!) A GM Pen works by overwriting the question on the question paper. This overwriting acts as a primer and this primer replicates the answer to the question in the answer paper. However this comes with an assumption that the student has at least made his/her notes so that the answers are in the pen can recognise the primer and replicate accordingly! (For non-biotech people, please don't start self mutilating yourself if you didn't get this one... it was kinda technical... for more information you can refer Genetics by Peter Russell lovingly known as "The Russell"! For biotech people, this is what random priming did to me.... please don't kill me... 2 people have already hung up on me listening to this idea of mine!)