The CAT woes continue...!!

OK the honeymoon is over and now no more watching stupid senseless movies in the name of completing the journal (I'll have to complete the remaining part of the journal umm..er.. well by actually reading what's written in the journal I'm copying from).... now is the time to brace myself for the RESULTS of the n number of entrance exams I gave and be slapped right in the face everytime! I see myself taking a drop and giving all the exams next year again... oh F**K...that means spending 7300 bucks again?!? No!! (7300 only if the test fees remain constant and don't get affected by the inflation/recession!) And yeah, will give the tests again next year only if I'm eligible next year... i.e. I score more than 50% in my graduation.... an event which I don't see happening this year... hell ya... I have only one chance here!

For all the people whom I've subjected to my MBA woes, I got 90.47 percentile. And to be honest I feel happy and sad.

Happy because

1. My sister stopped laughing at my Math skills (finally). I did it... got two digit, positive marks and cleared QA cut off only for the third time in my life... yay!!
2. I stopped quitting and escaping... I fought!!
3. I think it's a great score for a first attempt.... I expected only 20 percentile from me... 10 minutes before the paper!! I was just being realistic... I thought the 40-question section was Quants!!! I would've got only 9 percentile then!!
4. My parents are happy
5. I'm in the top 10% people in India!! yay! (a very subjective statement, though!!)

Sad because:

1. This was probably my only shot at getting this score.... it's not that I can't get it again... all it's gonna take is one sarcastic laughter from my sis and I'll be all charged up to prove her wrong!... but jokes apart... next year I'm not gonna have 40-question verbal to push my score!! To add to it, CAT's online next year. I can't solve papers on the computer... the paper-pen feeling is essential for an exam. Next year, verbal ain't gonna be less ambiguous as it was this time! (Thank You God!!) This time ka verbal was like a cake walk as compared to CAT 07!!
2. If I could get 90 percentile by studying in a month... I can imagine what my score would've been had I started studying the minute I joined my classes!!(July 07!)) 99.99 percentile for sure!! The classic Nupur regret!! I have this regret everytime I give an exam... yet I don't sudhrofy!! (Now that CAT's over... you'll not find me jhadoing hi-fy English words!)
3. To be honest I expected more in Verbal... I'm not being greedy yaar...!! TIME analysis said 98 percentile... but when you get 95... you're shocked!!
4. Because my relatives think 90 is the awesomest score anyone in the family has got(irony: I'm only the second person to give CAT in my family!) and even with 90... I'm as stranded as I would've been with a 50.... or 70! It's just to impression jhaado in fronta people that you got 90...!!
5. IIM-A is IIM-A!!! And I'm not going there. :(

IIFT results were out weeks back and I'm not going there as well. SNAP results out as well... and don't even talk about it to me! TIME and IMS analysis said a score a night before the result.... and the result the next morning was a cool 19 marks less!! I've never been more shattered before! Goes there... 2 probable calls..! I mark my answers in the question papers and then correspondingly in the answer paper... only to minimise marking errors.... I know that is the only reason for the low score I got... but somehow... I can't make so many marking errors...!! My numbers aren't this bad!! Couldn't even bloody cry for 10 hours.... was in a complete shock..! Even brushed my teeth for half an hour so that I didn't have to speak!! But I've let it go... Mom always had something against me going to Pune... guess she's right, as always.... and as always... I didn't listen to her only to regret later..! The doors are closed.... I have the faith in myself to be able to open a window..!

After SNAP fiasco... I don't expect anything from NMAT. I'm mentally prepared for a drop...! Now, nothing can break my morale!! I'm prepared for the worst too... no MBA, just in case I don't get 50% in my Univ exams!! I'm serious!! I'm barely able to rote now...!! And suddenly biology seems less interesting than Maths... never imagined I'd say this in my lifetime! My Mom mentioned keeping the MS option open... and I looked straight in her eye and said... you rather get me married... I CAN'T do MS!! Even one of my teachers asked me about my plans after TY... I said MBA and I could hear her saying "Thank You for sparing Biotechnology!!" to herself!

All in all.... the end mood I'm in is HAPPY. A firm believer of "Whatever happens, happens for the best". I've gotten over CAT/IIFT/SNAP. I'll get over NMAT and TY too..!(I can get over anything but love... ok sorry... sad joke!). I already have an alternate profession in mind... being a blog reviewer... If such a thing exists!! Now, that reminds me... I'm dying to read a COOL blog( my definition of a 'COOL blog' : A blog which is funny, witty, sarcastic, easy reading and has me mentioning it to my friends... they aren't interested in intellectually civilised things like BLOGS!! But I do my job... talk aimlessly and they do theirs... not listen to me and yeah give me the "Shut-up-you-blogger" look!!) So please, if you have any such blog in mind... lemme know.. I'll thank you in my next post and immortalize you in the hallowed posts of my blog! Please... refrain from self-advertising....! Self advertise only if you're GOOD! (my definition of COOL and GOOD are the same, FYI)

Nupur's Song Recommendation: "Take Me To Your Heart" by Micheal Learns To Rock.... a lovely song...! Read the lyrics on my friend Pooja's facebook profile.. Thanks Pooja! See, my "immortalizing-people" spree has begun, so you better suggest some GOOD stuff!!

Socha Na Tha

I have two exams in these two weekends.... and two functions in my family... on the same days... and the worst part of it all..... I bought two gorgeous Punjabis (OK... I can imagine Aanch fuming...) OK.. I bought two SALWAR KAMEEZes (what's the bloody difference, Aanch?)... yeah so the worst part of the problem is that I can't attend these two functions... It's not that I love attending functions...but just that I've acting like a 'girl' of late... yeah yeah... I've started liking getting dressed up! And when I've spent almost a bomb on the clothes... I should get to wear it na! And worse still, this is not the problem... the major issue is that I have journal correction tomorrow.... and the teacher doesn't really like me ... Last heard... she wanted to fling the journal on my face.... even when my experiment was right... and she goes on and signs for some other's girl same experiment, who had made the same mistake, apparently. And they say teachers don't take out personal vendetta! So, the bottom line is that I'm DEPRESSED and I don't know what to do... study or complete the journal! So I take the middle road... I leave my Quants (yes, it's been ages and I'm doing the same thing... yet I don't know the 123 of it!) and Biotech journal and switch on the TV. Escapism at its best!

And one silver lightening was that SOCHA NA THA was coming on the cable. For once my cable wallah put a watchable movie! And me being me, I can't miss Socha Na Tha for anything on Earth. It's such a sweet movie. I remember I had dragged my cousins to watch this movie on a Holi day... and the theatre was EMPTY.... except for us and two-three random 'couples'. I still can't forget the look they shot at me for even suggesting the movie.(Now after having suggested Dostana and Oye Lucky.... they really feel that I have a demented sense in movies! Thank God they forgot that once upon a time I had suggested a movie called Pyaar Koi Khel Nahi.... don't frown... there was no other movie around at that time and we wanted to see a movie badly!) Yeah, and of the entire coterie, I was the only one who liked(loved) the movie. I mean how can you not like it? It was so cute!! Trust me, I like Abhay Deol today only because of this movie. Ayesha Takia was so cute and adorable in this movie. Of course there was no silicon on her that time.. maybe that's why I liked her!

The story, the songs, the screenplay, the acting.... everything was just fantastic..... and more so because everything was so credible. Aditi was just like a girl next door... and Viren ... like a boy next door! In a way the reason I can watch this movie time and again is because Aditi's so much like me! I think if I have to rename myself, it'll have to be ADITI!!! I mean all the Aditis in all the movies are so freaking similar to me! (The other one being Aditi in Jaane Tu... ok... don't remind me of Jaane Tu... I'll start about it again!) But, still Aditi apart... the movie was WONDERFUL. Even the songs were so mellifluous.... especially the title track.... what lyrics.... "kabhi dil ke kareeb tumhe mere naseeb, yun payenge.....socha na tha.... ek chahat ka pal.... sab sawalo ka hal...yun payenge ....socha na tha". And the way Aditi and Viren keep saying that they won't meet after that is just so cute!! (OMG... what's with me.... I'm acting like such a girl!!)

The moral of the movie is:

1) Guys are the ultimately confused, befuddled guys on Planet Earth and in their state of confusion, they confuse other non-confused souls.

2) Real life doesn't imitate reel life..... so no matter how much you do.... you'll remain what you are... a FRIEND... that's it!!

So, enough of SNT PRgiri from me... go and grab the DVD and watch it!!

Beneath The 1000 Feet Of Shit Under Earth....

This feels like shit! Seriously.... I kinda agree when Ross said that beneath Earth, there's 10 feet of shit.... and beneath that... there's HIM! But I say... beneath Earth.... there's 1000 feet of shit... and then there are other losers who feel they're there... and then there's ME!!

It's just exasperating being frustrated with something and not knowing what exactly is troubling you. I dunno if it's the late reaction to my IIFT paper... which I was really looking forward to because it had a fatte campus... the fees were reasonable.... it was outta Mumbai.... and most importantly it's one of the best B-schools in India. Even my friends who tried to dissuade me by saying that Delhi is not as women-friendly as Mumbai, couldn't succeed...because I wanted to go there meant that I wasn't gonna listen to anyone once I had made my mind. And then missing it by 1 mark hurts(Acc to estimated result by TIME).... and it hurts like hell. Only if I had solved one more LA question... I would've been through.Damn! So this is the 8th institute where I won't get in!!

Now, I'm giving SNAP.... but why am I giving it? I dunno why.... but I normally have a vibe about things....and most often than not... it turns true.... and I'm not feeling too positive about SNAP... I don't know if I'm thinking too high of myself, but if SNAP institutes are the only ones I get... I'll take a drop. I don't want SNAP....! NMIMS....I've been brain-washed to accept NMIMS! I can't stay in that one gully any further.... 5 years and I'm sick of it!!! I really want SPJAIN..... but then...they don't want me! So it boils down to the fact that..... wherever I want to go.... I'm not allowed..... and all the places where I might stand a chance.... I don't want to go there!!! Gosh!It's like what Akshay Kumar said in Garam Masala : Jise hum chahte hain...woh hume nahi chahte.... aur jo hume chahta hain....use kaun chahta hain??? I'm thinking of dropping this MBA idea altogether!! Maybe... I'll ask one of my *aunties* to find an NRI for me... and get married...that'll be simpler.... atleast I won't have to write an exam there! Serving chai and all.... well.... we can always go to CCD right?!?!

And the worst of it all is the fact that I can't really speak it out. I've braved situations far worse than this ...by just speaking out things to someone.... to me...it's panacea... it can cure anything that happens to me... but somehow this frustration just doesn't come out. I try to tell Mom ...but she just doesn't get why I'm not just studying for my TY which is far more important(this is the first and final attempt there!). Can't discuss it with people who've given these exams because they don't want to check their results.... can't discuss it with people who've not given these exams because it's all Greek and Latin to them! So I gotta get it out here!!!

TY is acting like such a bitch(The teachers and the journal are only increasing the nightmare)! I don't know how I'm gonna study an entire year's portion in 2 months.... amidst preparing for GD-PI and CET. Yeah ...got some hope in CET.... but that is washed off as well.... got my Univ. Practical exam worth 200 marks during the CET weekend... so in short it's gonna be RIP Nupur in Feb. Guess, I'll have to find a means of livelihood in blogging.... guess that's something I've been doing since the past 9 months and surprisingly I'm not bored of it as yet...which is a first time of sorts with me!!

The only silver lining I can see these days is well the fact that I've fallen in love again.... SACHIN PILOT. Don't know him?? Gosh! He was the only reason I followed the 2004 Lok Sabha elections like I followed Mohali in IPL!! Well, for the uninitiated, in 2004, he was youngest MP. And he's not like 'politicians'. He's educated and all..... St.Stephen's, Delhi.... IMT, Ghaziabad (I wanted to go here as well, but mom gave me a look I expected her to give me if I had said I wanted to go to cover the Iraq war!), and....... WHARTON School Of Business!!!!!! I mean WHARTON!!! Gosh! And he looks fabbbuuuullloouuuss!!! So, now, you may ask how this long lost love was ignited again... it was just that I was telling Aanch how hindi-filmish his marriage was(more on it later....people who haven't seen his Rendezvous with Simi Garewal on 28 May, 2006 may find it interesting) and I thought of you-tubing the episode....but no one except me has seen this episode I guess...for it wasn't there anywhere on net!! And sadly...like all guys I like.... he's committed too!!! Sheh!! But still, chalega....mujhe kahan shaadi karni hain isse!! Anyone else from Wharton reading this may do!

P.S: One more depressing news for you... I'm on my way of writing Dostana spoof.... Mentioned it here just to mentally prepare you guys!

One Free Sunday... Please!!

I hate Paulo Coelho more than I hate the bitch who ruined my life in junior college. What was he thinking when he said, " When you want something, entire universe conspires to give it to you". I mean what was he in? K-Jo movie? Where everything is perfect? According to my Anti-Paulo Coelho theory, I have stated, "When you wnat something, entire universe conspires to give you everything but IT"! I mean it's so damned true.

On Saturday... on the eve of IIFT exam, my last exam on a Sunday, I thought, that finally next week, next Sunday, I'll hav the first free Sunday after 18 May when I can get up at 11, laze around the entire day.. watch dumb movies, and be online the whole day.... I was looking forward to my FIRST FREE SUNDAY where I wouldn't be giving an exam or checking results, or mentally appraising percentiles and city ranks....but alas.... Mr. Universe had other plans! My classes had to start mock CETs. Can't they give one free Sunday?? Just ONE?!? I came from IIFT exam at 12...and then went to give CET at 1.30. What a day! Two exams in one day... trust me ...both sucked, BTW!! This is when I feel that Paulo Coelho was mistaken. Terribly mistaken.

Now, I really have begun to hate Dhoni. I mean why on earth doesn't he want Irfan to come back? Every player has his ups and downs... as a captain you gotta give them a chance. Dhoni, if you could give others a chance.. why not Irfan... ?? After all, it was the added batting pressure that killed Irfan the bowler. Get Irfan back... or else I'll start an online petition... don't laugh..I'm serious.. it's been ages since I saw him in the Team Blues! Get Irfan Back!!

Yeah we seem to be winning this 22-22 match!! Yipee!!! India can make the series 4-0 now!! Yay!!

Maa Da Laadla Bigad Gaya!!!

What was I like blind to not like John without his shirt?!? I mean that guy looks like a damned Greek God!! And probably the only guy whom I'd like without his shirt! Now, this is the second instance in my life where I'm repenting not carrying my blue whistle with me(the first time was at the IPL match I had gone to see at Wankhede). There were so many siti deserving scenes! John as fannnntttttaassssttiiicc and he's finally learnt acting! You just don't feel like looking at anybody except John. Abhishek doesn't even come in the options! Priyanka with her weird accent is annoying. Can't she speak normally? And her lips are..well... silicon operation gone wrong!

Bobby Deol's also there in the movie. His Chamku look intact. Priyanka confirms her bad taste in men by leaving John for Bobby! And she likes chest hair?? No wonder she's with Harman! She actually didn't LIKE John?!? She's blind-er than me! Besides she was toh living with him in the same (awesome) apartment! Lucky bitch! Miami was shot so beautifully. If I had known this last year, I'd have happily traded my Vegas trip with Miami. Atleast there's no "under 21 not allowed" rule in Miami! But the scene of the movie would undoubtedly be the way John surprised PC on her birthday. Wonderful. Old world charm and old world tricks always work! And the shot of the movie was John drenched in the rain in a white see-through shirt and his hand ruffling his hair (Woooowww..my heart must've missed at least 10 beats!) with guys playing football behind and Kuch Kum in the background!

But the best joke on the movie had to be the one cracked by my Dad, while we were walking out... he was like " Karanya nu chaski gyu che. Potana jaat ni advertise kare che dobbo!!" In English it goes like" Karan has lost it. He's advertising himself, dumbass!!" So, by now you would've guessed how much my Dad (didn't)liked the movie!! He was on the verge of bedakhaling me from his jaidaat for suggesting that we go for Dostana....!!

After my Y-chromosome theory and the Engineers-are-responsible-for-economic-meltdown theory, I've come up with another theory. I call it the Mystery-of-the-sex-ratio-difference-in-books-and-real-life-solved theory. Ok, to simplify the Greek I just threw up, I'll elucidate on what I just said. According to the 2001 census, number of females per 1000 males(sex ratio) was 932. 932 gals for 1000 guys. So that meant there this is an extra of 68 guys. But the main reason for the my stating the stats was that there are so many girls who are single and have no guy for them(read my friends and me...)Because we didn't have "guys" for us, we thought that the sex ratio thing was faulty. But, now, after haven seen Dostana, I can explain why there are no guys for people like us.... because those 68 guys are gay!!! See, this explains everything... the excess guys... no guys for gals... us being perpetually single....causing other group of friends, all of whom are couples to be a group of odd number of people and yeah, of course the lack of privacy couples get in rickshaws due to the presence of perpetually single people! And also the fact that 68 is an even number... it's easier to form couples... 68 C 2(I've just given CAT.. Maths is still fresh!)!! So all singletons will have to wait until one of these 932 couples break up. And keep your fingers crossed that those guys aren't traumatised enough by girls to turn gay!! That would only lead to a rather long waiiiiittttttt!

Aur Bhi Jahaan Hain Sitaron Ke Aage...!!

Finally THE CAT is over!! Phew!! Feeling so much better now! Got IIFT this Sunday... so will be comparatively free-ier after Sunday. So about CAT.. well I was the only person besides Aanch who was so happy after it was over. She was happy as she didn't let her panic attacks spoil her exam and I was happy for the simple reason that CAT got over. But, on second thought, in the end I had started loving CAT. I'm gonna miss it..!!

I never get tensed before any exam... just can't! But before every exam I'll be tensed about the fact that I'm not tensed and will eat my Mom's brain about it!! Yeah, I know I'm wierd! But, I tell you... don't reach the CAT center too early too.... its kinda intimidating!! I dunno why but it kinda just reiterated the fact that the exam is been given by 3 lakh other people! IITians, engineers, droppers included!! That freaks you out! And, the best thing to do in this situation is to have a chocolate. It calms frayed nerves. I was eating one even while filling up my exam details...!! Just can't give up chocolates for anything on earth... not even CAT!

And I was so happy that my class was a 4th grade class. It meant the benches would be of my size!! And they were. THe perfect height, the perfect back support. Just perfect! And when I looked around I could see people making their second and third failed attempt to get in those benches! And they were looking so enviously at me, as if I had "Already into IIM-A" written on my forehead!!

P.S: The guy sitting next to my bench was really cute. I couldn't help but throw a glance once every few minutes before the paper began... acting against the advice given by my friends to not to "BIRD WATCH" during the exam!!

When I saw 40 questions in VA... I could actually break into a victory jig looking at that! For once CAT helped non engineers... guess the paper setters read my blog! hehe!! I wouldn't have seriously had a problem, if they chose to pick an RC passage from the blog!! My posts are any which ways way too long, abstruse and boring! They can make real good RC passages!

I guess I'm the only soul on earth who found Quants easy. It really was. There were nearly 10-12 sitters. I solved 8...got 6 right... never before have I scored so much in QA!!! Had I 5 minutes more, I could have done 2 qtns more. So many qtns were from AIMCATS. QA was really easy... and if I can score above 20... it shows that 99% of the people can! I really don't know how they couldn't. People found DI easy. But, believe me DI was pathetic. Solved just 2 sets... and made mistakes in them too!!! And after the paper I came to know that the entire world solved those 2 sets..so there goes my percentile!! DI was fuckingly freaky! VA was less ambiguous. I thought I had a decent enough vocab until I read the qtns.... I felt dyslexic!! Didactic...diatonic...diastolic...ditetic....WHAT?!?? All in one question!?!? Maraoed a matka... and got it right!!

There was a point in life where I had given up hopes for CAT. And I was giving the exam only because I had paid for it and like a typical Gujju, I didn't want my money to go waste. But then I don't know why, this time, I didn't quit... didn't give up completely, like I always do... maybe this was one thing I learnt from Hetu and Aanch while studying... they never quit... they never said NO.... I tried this time... not quitting... and I must say I'm quite impressed by myself!! I tried... gave everytihng I could in the last month... though I knew that one month can't salvage CAT, but I tried... I won't get a call from IIMs... but atleast I'm proud that I came close... Maybe this was the reason I was happy..that I came... I saw... and I didn't give up...! Vini Vidi of the saying "Vini Vidi Vici" done.... maybe Vici will be done next time!!

I know I wouldn't have gotten a call but missing the DI cutoff only by a few marks... clearing QA and VA...hurt. I told Mom, that I'm missing it only by a few marks and I was really disaapointed because after coming so close, I didn't feel good to be still no where.. human tendency, I guess..I would've broken down when I told Mom the results... and she just said one thing... "Aur bhi jahaan hain sitaron ke aage" and I smiled.... she was happy with the mere fact that I tried... but as usual was late in beginning it!! Aanch, you're so damned right about me...!!

Sayonara... Astala Vista....Aavjo...Alvida...Bye!!!

There's a good news and a bad news for you. Which one do you wanna know first... Good or Bad?? Er.. Well, I'll decide, because you can't answer!! The Good news is that this is my LAST (*sob sob*) post until CAT and the Bad news is that this departing post is gonna be really really long. So no need to take your sedatives, if you're used to taking them for sleep. There's so much to say these days....! Ah! Haven't spoken to anyone from the Homo sapiens species since weeks! (Not counting the various positivity lectures I've been giving)So am back to my new best friend...my blog! Now, my blog didn't have much of a choice in being forced to be my best friend!! Finally managed to get one imaginary, non living friend in this lifetime!! My blog also doesn't have an option, unless the Celeron or Dual Core or whichever processor I have realises that it can hang itself to save it from the torture(Figured the pun... no... dyslexic? or Sonal Chauhan IQ types??)!! But not everyone has the brains na!!!




Now, I've been talking about CAT ever since I started blogging, but the main question remains ...why do I talk about CAT when I'm not too serious about it this year?!? I mean, yeah, I've been studying on and off for it since a year, but I'm still not seriously giving it.This is my graduation year, so kinda held up with it (I'm not studying for it citing CAT reasons is a different story altogether!!). The thing this year is that íf I get a decent enough score this year in any of the CAT/CET/SNAP/IIFT/NMAT, I'll take it.... if not, work for a year at Ankita's (Anki... please don't take the job away,you promised me....giving economy crisis as a reason... I'm banking on you babes!!) or maybe do a diploma in writing or something like that and then give CAT again and have my sis teach me Quants. Or rather, much simply, just ask her to go and give my Quant paper in CAT in 09... I'll give DI and Verbal myself. I dare not ask her to do Verbal for me. Engineer afterall!! Thier verbal is as good as my Quants! I tried asking her to give my exam for this year...but she refused...she says she wants to study for her exams!! Why isn't there a Raksha Bandhan for sister-sister... I could blackmail her yaar!! So if CAT does come out of the sack, good for the IIM's for I'll go there, otherwise, it'll have to wait! (So much for optimism!!)






Don't know why but this IIM bug has come again...for some reason. I had made peace with the fact that I may never go there...(there's something called as DREAMS and something called as REALITY.... and never the twain shall meet) I'm not being pessimist, just being pragmatic. Yeah, about the IIM-A bug biting again... it was this one pic of IIM-A lit at night that I just saw in one of the blogs I was reading and I just felt... Ah! Nirvana!! Ok... no more dukhi CAT stories! Maybe I'll encourage my sis hard enough for that one IIM seat for herself... maybe then can I wash off my sins for not letting her take a drop and go to Kota for her IIT-JEE.






I'm watching a lotta movies these days saw Andaz Apna Apna for the zillion raised to infinitieth time, for an hour only,but still, that counts! Saw the ending of Taare Zameen Par and got shivers down my spine. I was just wondering that reverse TZP is happening with me! I was a rather intelligent(modesty be damned!) kid bachpan main, but now I feel I've become dyslexic!! It's so difficult to comprehend (read rather) the question papers these days!! And more difficult to comprehend my friends' jokes!!




I also saw U Me Aur Hum... the entire movie. Saw it for the first time... and I loved it.... it was so touching. Shit!! Although it was a bit like the Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler starrer 50 First Dates, it wasn't totally lifted. It was so touching to see a guy care so much for his wife, who forgets him every third second. Creepy... to forget things!! I can say this by experience, because I always prided myslef as being a person who'd remember even my best friend's friend's boyfriend's best friend's birthday (Yeah, I've actually remembered this guy's birthday!) and now, I've started forgetting my close friend's birthdays...and they have to call up and ask me the date 5 times before I register!! Dyslexia...Amnesia...Alziemer's?? No, Schizophrenia, my friends would say!! And now I forgot Irfan Pathan's birthday(I remembered after 2 days!!)!! I mean how could I forget HIS birthday!!??!! I just hope the people whom I've tortured into remembering my birthday aren't reading this!!





Coming back to UMAH, if you haven't watched it, please do. It's not a masala type movie, but a very romantic one... realistic too, a bit. And Kajol's acting is worth a million bucks... The scenes when she forgets-remembers-forgets are enough to give you chills. Check the scene when she forgets her baby in the bathtub and the baby drowns... and also the scene when she asks her hubby to let her abort the kid... after she's had the kid. She also forgets she's pregnant in the labour room! OMG!! Chilling!! And the title song has the best lyrics I've heard in a long time... Apne rang gawaen bin, mere rang mein ghul jao, Apni dhoop bujhaye bin, meri chhao mein aa jao Oh chalo yoon kare,Tum, tum bhi raho, main, main bhi rahoon Hum, hum bhi rahein Oh tum, tum bhi raho, main, main bhi rahoon Hum, hum bhi rahein Teeno mil ke saath chale Saathi janam janam, u me aur hum..... I cried in the movie...and I don't cry in movies!! I didn't even cry watching SRK die in Kal Ho Naa Ho... when my crush on SRK was at its peak!! Actually my crush on SRK was at its peak for 5 years.... all through secondary school!! So it was more like a plateau peak!!! Now, I don't want a guy who can sing on a guitar to woo me... I'd rather want a guy who'd be ready to woo me everyday.... everytime I forget him, If I were to... By now you would've guessed where the fantasy to woo me with a guitar came from... SRK...DDLJ... his mandolin... A mandolin is like a gareeb's insaan's guitar man! So I wanted a guitar (classy, ain't it?) and no sarso ke khet.... a high end restaurant would do!!



Now I've been watching movies(one full + 2 quarters!), sleeping a lot and studying and hardly talking these days (my phone's always in a remote corner of the house... and my bloody Samsung ringer is so faint that I can't hear it anyways!)....sure signs of: I'm bored, lonely and depressed. Depressed about exams, bored of exams and lonely at home... of being alone at home when your family is holidaying!! Shit man... I'm regretting the decision of not going with them... my friends are addding salt to injury by chiding me for not going,my parents literally begged but I said CAT... and my mom was like. ... You aren't even giving it seriously then why study?!? Ah! My parents are so cool about my CAT and here I am rotting my brains over it, unneccessarily! My Mom also remarked that after this holiday, there won't really be time for all of us to hang out together and I rubbished the idea saying there's so much time...(I feared it would go down the *shaadi* topic again!) but seriously... where's the time??? My MBA... my sis's Engg then her MBA and THEN shaadi.. where's the time?!? And I don't even remember the last time we holidayed together... if those chindi weekend trips to Lonavla and the likes aren't taken into account. Had gone to Goa last.... in the summer of 2006!! Then in 2007 (freak been almost 2 years?!?!?)I went to US alone as my sis couldn't bunk her IIT classes and now they've gone alone as I cannot not prepare for CAT. And I'm not even doing that... I'm blogging!! Ah! Come soon folks...!!





One thing I observed is that one should never marry outside their languages. I'm not a narrow minded bigot or anything, infact I'm so cool about inter-caste marriages that my *aunties* think that I have a non Gujju boyfriend, also because I'm always taking my cousins' side when they talk about their non Gujju love interests! I said so, because it's so frustrating to not be able to follow the language your guy's relatives talk in!! All you can do is wait for one English or Hindi word to be able to guess the rest of the sentence! You don't even know if your ma-in-law is bitching about you... you might be smiling all the while when she'd look at you and talk!! Well, these are just assumptions... the real thing might not be the same! Don't ask me... I'm the most inexperienced person where relationships are concerned!





The third Test has started between India and Australia. I know people who know me know that I don't really like Dhoni like I like Irfan... but I like that guy's leading ablities.... he's cool, he's smart, he's shrewd, he knows how to get things from players, how to respect them, how to chide them when they err, how to give it back to opponents and critics and out of work until employed by Hindi news channels ex-cricketers.... but most importantly he has faith and confidence in his players... something I respect him for! Hail Dhoni!! So now, why are they still going in with Kumble..? He's a great guy... but there's a greater guy present yaar! I really like Gautam Gambhir... he so cute... he looks like a rabbit... cho chweet!! And I loved the way he hit Watson while taking his run... I loved Watson too, during IPL, but I can't like him if he ain't playing for anything Indian. Good going Gauti.... Keep it up.... and the anger on your face when you said: Fucking Shit... to Watson made me say: Hai...main waari jaava!! Keep slamming the Aussies...both with the bat and the elbow!






Brett Lee ain't playing well, Irfan's not in the team (I can imagine Paras chaffing about it to me)... so no reason to watch the match. It's a Test Match anyways. But there was a time in my life when I was such a cricket fanatic that I had seen test matches ball by ball!!! One more thing my *aunties* thought would not get me a good guy. I say... this was one reason that WOULD get me a good guy... I mean which guy wouldn't want his girl who'd not stop him from catching a match?? I'd give him company... If he decides to quit watching cricket completely unable to control the jealousy wouldn't be my fault!!! And I don't know why my cable wallah doesn't broadcast Neo Sports... first he'll put movies like Girlfriend and Ab Bas types on cable and second he won't show me matches! I'm switching on to Dish TV... Don't be santusht!! At least that'll give SRK some more pennies in his over flowing bank account... if his ICICI account hasn't duboed in the recent crisis!





You won't believe it... people are actually buying my engineers-are-responsible-for-the-economy-crisis theory!!!(all of them are non-engineers was the reading between the lines I wanted you to do, but if you've reached this far in the post, I guess you are as dyslexic as I am hence the explanantion) So, can I expect the Nobel Prize for Economics next year....?!? please??






All you out-of-work/vella/free people.... go back to your work!!! The story's over!! Bye! I'll come back on 17th November... with how the CAT screwed 98% of the people who wrote it (the other 2% got in ....dumb!!) and a review of Dostana... I HAVE to watch it on 16th!! John...!!! Ah!! I still maintain that he looks better with clothes on!! I don't like six pack abs ...they're beefy and look so fake.... one reason I shifted from SRK to Imran Khan!! SRK... get back to singing on a guitar this time... you might win a fan (back).

Positivity and Cockroaches!!

My Blog's got a new look! Sexy n sleek...black... er..well.. that's what I think!! Bloody had to toil so much to figure out what on earth XML is! All I was taught in my IT class back in 12th was HTML! New new languages engineers come up with! Huh!! Anyways, I like the new look, do tell me if its nice.

I truly believe more than anything, CAT, is more of a mind game... you keep cool,be positive,have faith and confidence in yourself... and you'll do good... even in Quants maybe (well, I'm yet to try this!!)... You panic... and it's like Tu saala kaam se gaya!(people feel this song is inexecrable, but I like it!!) Maintaining positivity for 3 more weeks is gonna be a mammoth task... lets hope I'm able to do it. One thing in me is that I can't think negative... I have to look at the positive side of things..But, the main problem with positive people is that if they get negative... they take ages to get positive again!! Like, last year... when I had gotten negative.... And another problem with positive people is that nobody around them knows how to deal with them when they get negative!! Because for one, positive people have their own theory of staying positive, whcih nobody else undestands, and they won't get positive unless this theory is reiterated to them with CONVICTION!! And when I had become negative... I didn't know how do I explain that to people and they didn't know what was going on in my life!! But, thankfully, I came out of the negativity and got positive again(took 3-4 months, but was out of it finally!) But, by far I think, the most important thing in life is not to EXPECT... I had began expecting things in my life, something I never did until then, and all hell broke loose. So one lesson I've learnt is simply not to expect and accept whatever you get! There are certain things you can't fight. Fate... for example! BTW, my Orkut horoscope for today says: Your happiness is intertwined with your outlook on life !!!

But there's one thing that I'll always be negative about... the fact that I can conquer over my fear of cockroaches!! Again, I was held at gunpoint by a cockroach...flying one at that! I don't understand why do cockroaches have to attack(!!) me when I'm alone at home or people are sleeping?!!? Bloody and they don't even go easily!! My grandmom, who threw the cockroach out, was actually laughing hysterically at me when I was jumping on my bed and shouting like a moron for the cockroach to be thrown out! Give me a PI at IÍM-A where the panelists would grill me on Microprocessors or worse still, discuss the GDP and GNP of Guatemala and be in a room with a cockroach for 10 secs... I'd choose the former... atleast the people in the room are humans!!

Huh! Only if God never created cockroches! But whatever... as long as I have people around who can throw off cockroaches, I don't mind! Time to go back to Quants ... no.. I'll do Verbal for a change today!

Engineeerrrrsssssss ......aaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!

I know I've been blogging a lot... I mean 2 posts in 3 days... with CAT roaring over my head... but on second thoughts, it really doesn't take a lotta time.... just 30 minutes max... and anyways I'm not one of those people who studies 23 hours a day that I'd worry about half an hour gone doing timepass. Also, Í don't talk on the phone now so I can time pass a bit!. Hah! Finally, feeling good after blurting it out that I'm not actually wasting time blogging!

Listen to your elders. And more importantly, listen to what your elders say. They say, " Don't count your chickens before they hatch" So please don't act over smart and start counting them, like I did!! My Goa IV is cancelled. And it is cancelled in such a way that I'm left to wonder if I'd have an IV at all! I was actually singing aloud yesterday and teasing my sis that I'm going to Goa!!Shit...this is not done! Listen to your elders, Nupur!! Does listening to your elders also mean listening to your mom who's always been right about you and you've always disobeyed only to regret later on, to not do an MBA now, that the MBA bubble too, has burst!? No MBA.. mom what will I do otherwise?!?? Creepy, to say the least... even the mere thought of only one degree ,...that too, well, which is like er..well BSc in the end! But maybe, I can go to UK/USA... those blondes revere BSc grads!! Only because they don't know what vella we've maroed in degree college. Now "vella" reminds me how baffled my Dad is whenever he spots Punju words in my speech... he's puzzled over the fact that I'm the first person who learnt Punjabi in Mithibai College(It's a place where even a Martian would turn Gujju!)!!! Dad... well, that's what happens when you're with Aanch the whole day!

I got my CAT center... some God forsaken place in Bandra East.. IES college or something like that! Bandra... Ah! Fond memories! But while I was at the IIM-A website checking my CAT details and stuff, I don't know what bug got into me and I decided to check the student profiles. I was kinda bamboozled and a bit angry. Figure this, for the 2008 batch, 74% students were engineers and in the 2009 batch... a whooping 89% were engineers! Holy Shit man!! In both the years, there were only 3% science grads! Now 3% of around 850 open seats would mean around 26 seats..... and I have to battle it out with 3 lakh aspirants... bloody engineers and IITians included to get ONE of the 26 seats!! FUCK!! And to top it all, I need to CLEAR Quants!!! Life has never been meaner. I also checked JBIMS' student profiles.... I must've gone uptill six pages.... and you guessed it right... all B.Techs and B.Es!

I'm just pissed off with them! Arey yaar, you're getting placement even before you pass out.... please leave some jobs and some seats for us gareeb people also! Now, I've actually figured out the entire recession cycle....how it started... no it wasn't the competition amongst banks to stay afloat that they started lending to bad borrowers.... it wasn't the global food and crude oil price rise, no it wasn't even real estate slump.... it was the ENGINEERS.... bloody who asked them to head banks and become investment bankers...... they should be building bridges and dams and things like those! OK.... I'll stop this anti-engineer bashing of mine before my engineer Dad, sis and friends come and wipe me off the face of Earth!

After looking at those figures, I was actually wondering why I am not an engineer. The most optimistic step that I had taken in my life was to buy engineering college forms and shell out 500 bucks per form, even when I knew that with my math and physics, I'd need at least 64 sems to become an engineer. I wonder how I passed class 12 Math and Physics... I did....like all other Bio students did....by rote! My sis till date shudders when I ask her to explain the Theory of Relativity to me..... she tried doing so a year back when she was preparing for JEE.... she spent 2 hours trying to drill in things in my brain... and the next day, she went crying to Mom that by trying to explain Physics to me..... she forgot hers!!! Ok... hyperboles apart... I'm not that bad in Physics, that I'd shake someone's basics...but I did manage to ruffle a few feathers!! So I can't utter the P word anywhere near my sis now!! And my sis won't utter the B- word... Biology of course!! After all, you can't beat the college topper in Biology in talking about Bio!!!

How much ever I may rant about engineers... I like them... they're are better than commerce grads at least! They have an iota of brain more than them.... and like you know... there's no bigger turn on than intelligence(and chocolates!!)!!! My guy has to be a tall, handsome, rich, engineer, Gujju guy.... Ok... now I know why I've been single since I landed on Earth... TALL, HANDSOME GUJJU all in one guy..... haha!!! Jokkkkesss!!!! LOL!!!

Depressed and Bored

Everybody reaches a level of saturation with things, and now I presume, I've reached mine... and that too... without actually doing anything. I really didn't know when and how I fell in love with CAT. Roting Biotech has become such a task..... solving MCQ's was fun.... at least we didn't need to draw diagrams.... or worse remember organic structures complex enough to send a rocket scientist into a depression that there's something more complicated than his job! I'm missing CAT.... yes Quants too!! But as in my life it's always been that the things I love don't really love me back equally.... so Bye Bye IIM dreams this year.... maybe next to next year, this time IF I still manage to preserve some patience and retain my grey cells, I might be posting from Ahmedabad....!! May the force be with me.

Now that "force" dialogue reminds me that I've still not seen Star Wars Episode VI.... Something I had promised my cousins when I left for India from US more than a year back. Lucky, if you're planning to download it, my pen drive's ready!

I'm bored.... of apparently everything.... people have suddenly become sooooo busy.... and they're not even giving CAT... wonder what they're doing.... oh yeah, I forgot... all of the people in my life are couples or semi couples... so now I know why they've been busy!! But still, don't you get bored of .... well.... each other??? No comments on my blogs (that's really really really depressing), the page hit counter moving ahead slower than time when Karzzzz promos are on air when all you've been waiting for is to catch Johnny in Dostana... no scraps on orkut... worse... nobody even comes online!! No replies to my calls and messages will be a subtle hint I'll have to take from my friends that I should rather blog... than talk! At least they have the option of not reading it! Campus Junkie's put up only 1 of the 13 articles that I sent... so that's depressing. And also the fact that they still want me to write (despite reading my egregious articles!!) and I have absolutely no time ( leaving aside 10 hours for sleeping, 2 hours for eating and 1 hour for coming online!) so let's see if I write ahead... maybe I'll do that....

So now, I'll stop boring and depressing people further by subjecting them to yet another non sensical, my-life-sucks post... so I'll go and and well... maybe study Biotech.... Cloning Vectors and DNA typing....!!! Why God why???!!!???

Ultimate Exasperation= Exams!

Life is just so boring. So monotonous. Get up (this is the most difficult task of the day!), answer Aanch's call of my day's plan, which never goes according to what was planned. Never. Then try to work out the dilemma of studying for CAT or to study for Biotech, after that's done, pick up something and study. Well, atleast TRY to study, before it's time to eat and sleep again. Get up again (Nooooo!!!!) and resist all the tempation on earth to call up people and blabber your way through, and try to make peace with either xeroxed notes (Thanks to PRP for saving my money!) or bad quality papered books from TIME! Then again eat, (No sleeping so soon!), watch TV, irritate my sis, listen to Radio Mirchi and solve Quants and then finally sleep, which is like my heaven!

One bad thing in me has always been my 'escapism' from things, from situations, from life sometimes.... This explains me jumping at the idea of going to US for 3 months.... ALONE.... bliss it was!! This explains why I understood when one of my friends mentioned that she's been sleeping a lot of late.... well it had to be escapism!!! I really dunno why I'm writing about escapism here. Doesn't really fit in here, but still, feels good to just be able to escape from things na!! I wish I could... one last time!!

I just hope this gets over soon.... terms, CAT, CET, SNAP, NMAT... whatever..!!! Oh I forgot to mention IIFT! So that after that I can BREATHE!!! And I really hope a lot of other things too get over..... Life jjust gets you to a point of ultimate exasperation where you don't care even if some realtions, for whose long life, you prayed all your life, get over. I want things to be done with. ASAP! Don't really care if they're evanescent like all other relations!

PS: Please go to www.campusjunkie.com , type Nupur in the search bar, read my article and rate it,...... please please..... I may win an iPhone if I get the maximum page hits.... please!!!

CAT, Imran, Irfan.... as usual!!!

I logged onto blogspot.com 5 times since morning to post something, but went without posting. You can call it ennui. Boredom, for people who aren't learning new Vocab words. Quants, DI, AIMCAT solutions, DNA typing, Quants(A lot of thing in this in this time table is fabricated.. This was just an archetypal timetable I wish I could follow!!). That's my schedule for a day(Amen!). God, please get me through CAT this time itself.... I can't study Quants for another year!!!

So as to prevent myself from falling to sleep while solving QA at night, I've started listening to those night radio shows.... not those "Loveguru" types!!! It's fun actually, though to listen to them for a maximum of 22 secs.... just amazing to know that almost the entire city faces problems you faced!! And don't worry, I'm not one of those Devdas types to listen to these shows everyday.... I listen to Nightrogen on Radio Mirchi.... it's not a Loveguru show.... it's kind of a thing for the college crowd! The only hitch in this show is that the RJ plays Himmesh a lot!! Tandoori Nights...... EWWWWW!!! More on Himmesh bashing later.

Biotech, I thought would suck bigtime, as I had lost whatever interest was left in me last year for the subject, but surprisingly, this year Biotech is really simple...it ain't the Greek and Latin professors spoke while teaching us. So hopefully, I'll scrape through TY! First I'll have to save face for my 6th Oct exams!! A few terrorists who've been caught by the police, were found to be IT engineers. Finally I got a witty repartee to my sis, a to-be-engineer, whenever she says teasingly that we BIOTECHNICIANS (as in those mechanic types.....and yeah, my degree holds no value to her!!) aren't gonna do anything further in life due to various factors (No, she doesn't know about my Bandra trips with my friends!!), I can say that at least people from my fraternity don't go around planting bombs!! I know, it was a very insensitive and callous comment, but at least for time being I don't have to called out a BIOTECHNICIAN!! Another friend of mine, too got help dealing with her siblings by the same line!! The best part of all this is that it hasn't struck my sis that Biological bombs is far more lethal!!!!! I seriously wonder how my gang and me have survived 3 years of playing holi with lethal bacterial cultures in the lab!!

I really can't resist Himmesh bashing, so without wasting time, I'll get down to it. In one of the songs he's wearing this deep V necked black Tshirt, showing off his Veeted chest. What point does he want to prove?? That he's hot and sexy....!!! I guess, he thinks that after being tormented to Aag, the recent Yashraj flicks and the likes, our taste has really degraded..... Dude... it has not!! So please cover up! Veet is better off with Katrina for product endorsements. The dame who's the actress in this movie... I don't know her name, although Ankit did tell me, and I forgot, and now to expect that I'd Google out that chick's name... would be well.... too optimistic!! Yeah, while we are at this dame... she looks mentally challenged to me. No offences, but seriously...she doesn't look normal! And going by the decisions she's taken in life (agreeing to do Karzzzzz .... still unsure of the number of z's!!!), I'm not totally wrong in my assumptions!

How can I not talk about Imran Khan?? Just saw the new Kidnap video.... where he's in this sexy see through white shirt, with a deep V neck under a waterfall....... a song to die for!!! There were 5 pages of Imran Khan in today's What's Hot paper.... Total treat for me! Early birthday gift, I presume! And he was totally breathtaking!! There were two things in there which I totally agree : 1) The fact that you can't have him, makes you want him more!! 2) The tattoo gives him the "edge" girls like in boys!!! On the sixth page, there was Ranbir Kapoor and Deepika s**t Padukone. The bit of news on them was totally putting off, especially when one had just read 5 pages on IK! And the fact that they resembled Siamese twins conjoined at the hips and palms(the credit for inventing this phrase goes to my sis, who describes the couples in her college with the phrase! Couples in engineering colleges...??? Since when??), did not assuage my feelings!Aanch, you can have Ranbir.... Am not interested... not until he changes his taste in women!

I have company!! Irfan can't dance saala!! Yay!! I dunno why I'm happy for the fact that he can't dance in a dancing show, and might get eliminated because of it!?! But the fact that I'm not the only one who can't dance gives a moral support kinda thing! Sreesanth, I thought was a fab dancer, but he didn't dance in the show the way he danced in the Pepsi ad. And Wasim Akram looks soooooo HOT! Even at.... whatever his age is!!! Irfan can't dance.... but he can sing.... he's gonna sing Chaudvin Ka Chand in tomorrow's episode....for whom?? I dunno?? If you're listening/reading (too optimistic, I know!!) Irfan, I really really really love guys who can sing and that's how, I'd like to be wooed!!!!! Yay! I love Colors!!

Chalo, I'll go back to Radio Mirchi and Quants!!

Pichle 180 Dino Mein.....

Joe ne glass toda, Debbie ne kaan maroda.... hum sab hase, mushkil main tum phase.... kyunki Joe ne band choda...!! No, I haven't gone mad, not yet! It's just the Rock On!! hang over.I'll be fine in a day or two, so don't worry! I looveee Farhan Akhtar! Pooja, I really don't care of you are contemplating murder at this announcement of mine. Sorry Darling, love knows no tera-mera!!

There were two announcements in class today one: Exams from 14 Oct. In short, my birthday is ruined and I'm not even talking about CAT, because it has no chance of any resurrection and I couldn't care less about my college exams. And two: College is getting over from 26 Sept. I mean COLLEGE IS GETTING OVER!!!!!! My college days, carefree, fully paid, no tension about life, responsiblity free days ARE OVER?!? I mean SHIT!!! Someone please hit the panic button for me please!

Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat. Ok, I'm a bit better now! The panic attack has alleviated. In the past 6 months, life has been awesome. Seen some wonderful times with friends. Fought the ugliest fights with them. Made the impossible-est of confessions (I'm still shocked how I did it!), enjoyed pracs, planned parties and surprises... all in this span of 180 days. It's this 180 days that's giving me the lump in my throat whenever I think about the college getting over.

180 days back

Get up. Go to station, wait like an ass for minutes for Manshi to come, take a rick (on days when we HAD money) or a bus (when we were broke, which was almost everyday) to Aanchal's place. Go there. Study for 1/10 of the time. Eat for 7/10. Talk for the other 2/10 of the time. It was bliss! Classes, Aanchal's Punjabi food, Hetvi's stories about her life, Aanchal and me exchanging the when-are-we-gonna-have-some-kinda-adventure-in-life look, teasing Aanchal, TIME, being a heroine in VA lectures and jhadoing all the vocab we knew, maintaining statistics of the number of times Aanchal "turned back",hoping everyday "HE" came to class, imaginary cheerharan during a boring quant class....... everything... I mean everything spelt BLISS!

90 days back.

Rains. College. Class Tests. Perfect reasons for one to pull up the blanket and continue dozing. I would have been too much of an optimist had I done that and thought that I'd get way with it. 100pc attendance is what my HOD wants! Wishful thinking, I know! The past 3 years at Mithibai... the first year with Aanchal and Hetvi and our "coffee book" which had all the bitching about the class, SY with the gang, planning Biotechnova, fighting, solving fights and making up summed up SY. TY with the same gang, eating like gluttons, not performing pracs and being a pain for the teachers, doing nonsense during lectures was TY.

But in the past three months, we've enjoyed college like no man's business. Bunking college tests and running away to Bandra. Finding new excuses every Saturday to go to Bandra. Going to Bandra from Infiniti Mall only to have icecream at Carter Road wala Amore, when there was one right there at Infiniti! Ankita's car and five other girls in one car, amazing weather and Bandra Bandstand, Bandra Reclamation, Bandra Fort, Carters.... BANDRA...wow!! Going for pracs to college and somehow landing up for lunch at Renaissance.... we are broke yet we lunch at Renaissance! Unpredictable College Life, I say! Missing turns while going to Bandra and somehow reaching Danapani, going all the way to Malad from Powai when we wanted to come back to Parla, only because Aarey colony road is awesome. Life was so much fun. Missed you , Aanchal in each and every trip. Sacchi.

Today when I think that in another fortnight or so when college is going to get over.... I get jittery. It's a shock! It actually is. Never thought college getting over would be so shocking! Ankita already expressed her shock! Lucky is still in shock. Blogger had Blogged it! OMG! Just give us a month more. With no studies .... please... there's so much more to do..... Lonavla is still left man! Now that the Bandra trips are over, I feel how much I'm gonna miss it. Bandra will always tantamount to these 5 people and me in Ankita's Corolla. Now, it's already begun. Whenver I see, an off-white Corolla, all I think about is the six of us and Bandra!! It brings a wonderful smile to my face! Thank You everybody. Aanch, you know, in every trip I used to wish that you'd come, I really missed you. I just wanted you to have the same memories we were taking back.

Life, in the past quarter of the year has changed in more ways than these. I'm in a way a different person and a much stronger person today. I know, Radhika is fuming at the thought that I've changed once again!! Realising and finally letting go of things is something that I always said I wanted to do, and I've finally done it now. It's a simple principle in life which I never believed earlier, but now I do. You don't need someone for your happiness.... you don't need someone to make you happy and your happiness should not depend on someone else. It's my elixir from now. Just yesterday, one friend of mine gave my example to another friend who was going through the same thing I had gone through and was asking her to look at me and see that life is good even without the people you wanted to be a part of your life. I was happy not because someone was asked to look at me and learn, because of the pride in my friend's voice when she narrated this to me, the sense of accomplishment she felt when I finally came out of my own illusions and delusions. It just feels nice to have made someone proud!! Take a bow Radhika, Rao, Aanchal and Hetvi for all the effort you guys put in!

It was in this past 180 days that I began blogging, thanks to AJ. It was for the first time that someone, who until then was a stranger, put in confidence in me and pushed me to write further, made me believe that I had a writer in me. I wrote for Camous Junkie and am gonna be paid for it, finally something to go down in my blank resume. Manalee, I owe you one, babes! 1500 page hits already on my blog... I'm loving it!

I'm never gonna forget 2008.... it was a wonderful year spent with wonderful people.

People who've heard me sing, please close your ears if you're planning to start imagine me singing and for people who've not heard me, imagine Lata Mangeshkar-esque voice coming in your brain as I sing : Pichle 180 dino main, maine yeh sab hain paaya. Kabhi khud pe hasi main, kabhi khud pe royi!!!!

P.s: Hey, everyone named in the blog please take a minute out and write a comment!! please!!

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Have you heard Tum Ho Toh from Rock On?? If you haven't then please go to www.mp3yug.com, download the song and listen to it asap! It's like the new Kahin Toh Hogi woh for me! Meaning, it's on repeat on my iPod and I'm not bored of it... not as yet. Farhan Akhtar's crude voice does for the song what even Shaan or Sonu Nigam wouldn't have been able to do. It's that unpolished, rough side which makes you love the song. Imperfectness works here. The lyrics are awesome. Dunno about the picturisation... haven't seen the movie as yet. My fingers are crossed for my Tuesday movie plans!!

I really can't fathom what is in Bigg Boss that everyone around me is so obsessed with it? Try asking Mom for the remote after 10 and I get a look which I think I'd get when I tell my mom that I've gotten married in a court that to a guy who's 20 years my senior! Even some of my friends rue that their family members too, have been behaving in the same fashion! Trust me, I really can't understand how people tolerate so much of bitching on TV..... isn't real life enough? Seriously what's with Network 18?? Why are they coming up with asinine shows? Roadies, Splitsvilla, Bigg Boss....?? What?? One more thing I can't figure out is how the people agreed to be a part of the show?!?

I really don't remember when Dus Ka Dum started. Haven't seen any episode. But I did see yesterday ka episode where Salman's brothers, Sohail and Arbaaz had come. I don't like Salman...never liked him actually, the only exception being Andaaz Apna Apna, Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and Maine Pyaar Kiya. Never even liked his six packs. Don't like anyone's six packs for that matter... they look so fake... This is one reason I like Imran Khan.... because he's not perfect... he can't sing... not even in trains, he dances OK.... doesn't have 'muzzles' ... OK sorry... this wasn't about why I like Imran, it was about DKD. Yeah, there's something about this family that always has me interested. I really like the love and the bonding between them. The way they are all standing by Salman whenever he goes to jail, or at any function. You really need to start learning Braille to miss the filial bonds! I guess this is the only family in B-town which I like. This family doesn't hurt your eyes and pancreas like the Bachchan family does. Too much of sugar causes diabetes.....!! And Ash in any form irritates! For me she's just a one movie wonder... HDDCS... none of her other movies can come even close.

One more thing I noticed on this episode was Chetan Bhagat. I mean he's from IIT-D and IIM-A... I really thought he'd be having this super personality, with awesome oratorial qualities and stuff you expect from a guy who managed to clear IIM-A GDPIs! But I was in for a shock. To me, he just looked like a milder version of Karan Johar. No offences but ... yeah, actually! But, I'll always love his books and will try to be able to write like him! I really dunno what's with the IIM-A guys. I mean my friends and me, we thought, that we'll get our share of good guys at IÍMs, so it's better to wait. But if there are people like ..well, Chetan Bhagat and one of my profs at TIME.... I'd rather get hitched with someone else. (I promise he won't be 20 years my senior!And no court marriages for me either!)

Finally Mit Jaaye is on my cell phone. Been dying to listen to this song since first seen on TV! I'm really out of topics to write on..... and I have a big fat journal to complete, so I better go and do some constructive work! And yeah can someone please suggest a good blog template.... other than the ones on offer here at blogspot.com, then please let me know!

The Holy Grail of Happiness!

For a good part of last year, I thought that like Physics, in life too, happiness can't be created. It can be destroyed, though..... !!! And yeah it definitely passes on from one person to another. But, this year, I've realised that happiness can be created. And it should be created. For your own sake. Happiness, is all inside your head... You decide you want to be happy, then you will be, no matter what. But if you want too say sad and melancholic, then even Imran Khan singing Kabhi Kabhi ----- (Your name) won't make you smile. Now, I gave this egregious example only to teach you how to stay happy when the world around you is cracking stupid jokes!

Coming back to Happiness, I think I've figured out its Holy Grail. Now that's only until I'm hit by another bout of sadness!! ohk... so the secret of staying happy is

1) Fight against everything that makes you sad and make a conscious decision to stay happy. Trust me, it works. It is, for me, since the past few months.

2) Chuck the fucking world and just do what you want to do (According to Sri Sri Sri Rao Baba ....My wisdom imparter of late!) Now this is one thing that I've been doing which has knocked out the daylights out of people around me! I mean it's my life and why should I care what others' opinion about it is? I should, and for that matter everyone should lead their lives according to their wishes and whims. If it shocks people, who cares?

One more philosophy I'm being subjected these days to, of course by my friend Sri Sri Sri Rao Baba, is that "Learn from the past, Aim for the Future, But LIVE in the present". That's what I've been doing. I have CAT in like 2 months, and my graduation in another 6. And yet today, I'm here blogging, and spending more time doing top level TP than spending them amongst books. The amount I study in a week is what I used to study in half a day back in 10th and 12th. I know, if Aanchal is reading this, I won't be alive and all you folks will be spared of reading further posts from me.

About living life on your terms and living for the present.... who's seen tomorrow.... certainty about tomorrow is so uncertain... then why waste your today for tomorrow and then if there's no tomorrow, rue over it? My college will be getting over soon.... 2 more months max... and everyone will be separated. I'm sure everyone is feeling it, but no one is talking about it. And me being the Blogging Blogger, I've Blogged it! It's like so less time, so much to do. Study. Laugh. Eat. Go to Bandra. Gossip. Bitch. Feel depressed looking at even jerks having boyfriends and we being single!.Write Zay Pee's pronunciations. Video shoot in the name of Campus Junkie. So much to do and no time. I wish I had met all my college freinds in FY itslef... all this would have been done to death by now. But, there's still 2 months, and I will enjoy them with my friends no matter what.

4 people have told me in the past few days that I've changed. I have. I know, for I can feel the change in me. And the best thing is that I'm happy. 3 of the 4 people know me okayish. 1 person knows me in and out. One thing they all fail to understand is that everyone has to change.... nothing in life is permanent. You have to be able to deal with all the changes life throws up at you. And, I'm just trying to prepare myself to absorb all the shocks that will come in the next 6 months. People are gonna change. People are gonna go. Most of my friends have become "couples"... so they don't have time for other friends. They left. And that's after making me promise that I will never leave them, come what may. Some just became distant and left. Some stabbed me in the back and left. Some just never came back to resolve misunderstandings. Everyone goes. Even today, there has come this creepy silence and a widening distance between a friend and me. It pains to see it.... more so because we don't know what the issue is. I've cried thinking of it and I just want to clarify that the only reason I never justified myself was because I didn't want to belittle my friendship by having to justify myself to a person who once read my silence perfectly, who was the only one who felt my VOID by just looking at me look out of the window.... I know, you are hurt to read it here. I'm sorry for that. I have become too dependent on people to take decisions for me. To the extent that I can't take my own decisions now. And I've changed to change this. Nothing else. It's my first independent decision in a year!

And I'm so glad I'm back to my spiritual self after a sabbatical of a year!!! Spirituality gives you an inner peace and happiness that can't be described.... it's just to be felt. The past week of Pajushan felt like catharsis! I've decided to give up eating onions and potatoes again, and I hope I can maintain it and resist everything, even Aanchal's Chole!!! God give me strength!!Believe it or not, the time when I had given it up, back in 12th ke vacations, I used to feel the same inner peace and happiness. That's the reason for the hermitgiri!