Pain Breeds Art!!!

Pain breeds art! If you disagree, you can check your friends' facebook status updates!! Those 19 line essays people write as their stat-ups, man, seriously, it feels like Facebook is full of Devdases! But, jokes apart, seriously, I've always felt that pain, really does breed art. Almost all of my posts that I feel proud of and still can't believe that it was me who's written them, have been a result of immense pain. Try sitting in Cell Biology lectures, desmosomes, gap junctions, striated muscles et al, taught by a teacher with the most morose expressions, soporific voice, abstruse pronunciations and well, a dull and drab subject...what you get is pain..... unbearable PAIN!!! Third degree torture is much better!!! That is when, art happens and you write incredibly great (yes, modesty is damned in this part of the blogosphere!) articles! But when the pain is taken away from you and you are happy, the stuff you write is much worse than watching KRK romance Rakhi Sawant....even for a die hard romantic like moi! So, I have come to the conclusion that if I want to blog like I used to, I need my Cell Biology lectures!! And, ofcourse, I need an ambience of Lakshmi, Hetvi and Mansh making a note of the words wrongly pronounced by the teacher, Aanchal doing Quants besides me, Ajay and Ankit trying to impress a certain chick in class by attempting to listen to the dead lecture and asking questions (like how!!!???) and Ankita sleeping and/or texting/talking to someone over the phone!!! But, since this is never gonna happen *having a huge lump in my throat*, I thought its time I find another Cell Biology in MBA! I found my Operations Management lectures equally painful, but I'm still unable to write like the old me wrote!! Maybe, it was all in the ambience!! Like Lakshmi rightly said, I've run out of topics to write after Mithibai got over!!

Seriously, Operation Management is PAINFUL! Anyways, it's so funny that how used to we get to people and things surrounding them! And then we don't even realise that we are having acceptance problems with other people, only because we want other people to be like these people....like I expect my new friends to not get annoyed if I use her freshly waxed hand as a white board and make notes on her hand and not my notebook...only because Aanchal never had a problem when I did that with her....or like just get away with anything by saying Forget about it kardo like Lakshmi used to say, and not expect people to doubt your English knowledge when you make statements like these!! And, expect people to pull out chairs, carry our bags, do your work for you only because Ajay and Ankit always did that!! Or expect to be taken care of and being pampered and sheltered from your problems and have people rolling up their sleeves to hit other idiots only because you cried because of them! Shit man! I sound like such a spoilt brat!

But, I love people at my new college too. It's just not fair to expect your new group to be like your old group. One thing you learn from these oldies with work-ex is to let go of things, however painful it maybe! I don't have an acceptance problem I just have a let go problem! That is why I'm still talking Biotech, missing Biotech, the lab and the people who made the lab a 'private' lab!! On second thoughts, desmosomes, gap junctions and striated muscles are anyday better than depreciation, defered revenue and capital expenditure!!

Anyways, enough of the philosophical talks! It's just so strange how you still act like a teenager, despite being 21 (and definitely not looking a day older than 16) when the guy you're crushing on passes by you and all the people knowing about it nudge you if you want an 'introduction'! Yeah, there's this super hot guy in college, with a very un-hot name (yeah, there's a lot in a name, Mr. Shakespeare got the funda completely wrong!!) unfortunately not in my class, who is rich as well.... so, I finally have some eye candy to look at in life! I've never really had hot guys studying in my college before! Damned Biotech...we just had 4 guys for 28 girls!! With Ajay and Ankit being brother material and Sean and Ratan never been seen in class.... Mithibai always felt like SNDT to me! The only positive thing being the hot BMM and BMS guys of UPG who shared their class floor with us!! And yeah, these guys are HOT!! So, if there's any Mithibai Biotech junior of mine reading my blog, you now know where to go bird watching! So, chuck those journals and enjoy your life in TY....go get a car, bunk a test and escape to Bandra...... you'll regret not doing it!!

 

P.S: It's so weird that I used to bunk lectures at Mithibai and ran away to Bandra (Carter Rd and Bandstand) to eat....and now, from my college at Carter Road I come to eat at Mithibai!!!! Life is strange!!! So fucking strange!

Chivalry's Dead.... Oh Wait..it just got CPR!

Just when I'm praising people to the skies, people have to act like an ass!! After getting completely pissed off with 2 guys from my team at college, I was singing praises of Ajay, Ankit , Abhishek and Rao, because they are really one-of-a-kind type of guys! And, then, Ajay has to act like an ass!! After promising a free movie treat, I was made to pay for the movie myself, and that too, a movie I've previously seen and spent 160 bucks for!! So, I've made the producers of Kaminey richer by 200 bucks now. Ok, now, I'll give it to the guy.... he paid for all the rickshaw and food....and then went broke paying for the movie! But, Ajay, dude, your treat is still pending. Bloody, you toh have a job also now!

 

Yeah, like I was saying, now it's confirmed that the guys I mentioned earlier are really the last specimens of a speices! They never abused in Hindi in front of girls, did all the work we gave them, they let us expolit them, manhandle them yet never complained, they would've rather come under the train than make a girl stand and sit themselves! But the guys I'm meeting off late (just 2 out of the entire college, though!) are all these weren't! I was totally exhausted after standing continously from 8 am to 7 pm on the day of our project presentation, and finally got a chair to sit, and no sooner did I sit, than there was this jerk, who asked me to get up so that he could sit! I got up... but in shock!!! I mean ...chivalry is DEAD! And today when I was with Ajay in the bus....not only did he make sure that I sit first....but made sure that all the females get a place to sit in the bus before he does! (OK, he was trying to impress one of females he offered a seat because she was a lil hot!). Even Ankit... give him any work to do...and all he'll say is, 'Yes, Dear!' Rao readily pays for three people...me, my friend and himself! Only because my friend insits that I come in a package deal with her! And Abhishek.....well... he's the man you should contact when you want to cross the road! He'll hold your hand and make sure no one comes in your way when you cross the road! Where art guys like thee?? And the most important thing....they DON'T SMOKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They say, there's no place like home. And they aren't wrong! I, now realise how much I miss Mithibai....and why I'd prefer to eat in the Mithibai canteen rather than McD or anyother better looking restaurant, only because Mithibai feels like home. And, yes, I never thought I'd ever be saying this in my life....but I'm missing the Mithibai Gujjus.... bigtime!! Eating in the canteen today, I couldn't just laugh at all the free meals we've had from canteen in the name of our department fest...and how we made Mr. Yes Dear, Ankit sanction all those food bills! Like I said, I've exploited the guys in my life! Now, it all comes back. There was only Ajay, Mansi and me in the canteen.... Ankit, Aanchal,Ankita, Lucky, Manshi, Hetu, Fatty, Neha....all absent....and without them, we didn't even feel like attacking the food and finishing it off in 6.78 secs! People are right when they say the one matures after graduating. I miss the stupid, kiddish fun! I miss eating. People, I've gone back to my I-don't-eat-this-and-that days!!! Just the other day, I was coming home from college (which is at Carter Rd, a place where all of us used to hang out after bunking tests and pracs) and was pointing out all the places where I used to eat out and all the speciality restaurants to this other friend in the rick with me, and I couldn't help but smile....I was this person who had a more items in the not-to-eat foods than in the to-eat-list, and here I was, suggesting the best places to eat to someone!

And yeah, I noticed one more thing.... you can't beat a Gujju, when he comes to spending money!!!!! I've learnt this from SVKM (it's the trust that runs Mithibai). I'm not saying that my MBA college is in a dilapidated state, it's great....fatang actually....but when you've seen Mithibai 3rd floor onwards, nothing else will do!

P.S: Ajay...... dude, your black convertible BMW as a gift for my wedding is still on....! And because you've made me spend money on Kaminey today, you'll have to give me a Toyota Camry also alongwith the BMW....so start working hard and earn money!!! And, Abhishek..... praan jaye par vachan na jaye....right, so in the same Rajput promise spirit....book my silver Audi !! Any more contributions from my readers, fans, stalkers, lovers (urggh! none in the last group!), you send send me sedans too ....I don't have anyone giving me Porche, Bentley, Lambhorghini and Ferrari....but keep in mind that I prefer only black and silver colors!

P.S 2 :If these four are the last guys of a kind on Earth and I meet no one like them, I'm gonna keep the brotherly feelings I have for them aside and marry one of them!

P.S 3: Right after that jerk made me get up from my chair, there was another guy who offered to look for another chair for me...despite having stood for the same number of hours....so chivalry just got a CPR!

P.S 4 :It's now confirmed that my iPod has an emo sensor on it.... it's playing I miss my college days right now!!!! Darn!!

GM People & Things

Now that I broke my back over studying Genetically Modified (GM) stuff, I was wondering how life would be if there were a lot of things that were GM..... apart from GM mice and GM sheep, which I see no use of (to me, at least!). So I'd like to enlist a couple of GM things that would make this world a better place...

*Statutory warning : This post is a result of a serious exam hangover after writing Paper 3 and the scare of writing paper 4!

GM Parents: They are modified not to freak out looking at their kids' phone bills (esp if their kid talks A LOT and if Vodafone doesn't really belong to them!)

GM Siblings: They are modified to do all your work without cribbing, without whining, without hitting you, without complaining to Mommy... basically they are like your genie!! (If you find my next post from a hospital bed, I assume you to be smart enough to be able to guess what must've happened to me!)

GM Best Friends: They're modified not to like the guy you like!!

GM Boy/Girl friends: They're modified to not whack and churn your brains to the limit that the gray matter and the neurons form a jelly like curd and the cerebro spinal fluid separates like whey! (Yeah, you guessed it right, this idea struck me when I was studying Cheese making.... Camemberti, to be precise!)

GM Crush: They're modified to like you back!!!

GM Relatives: They're modified not to tell you how much you've grown up... if you're done with your studies, so that they can have one more wedding to hog in!

GM Teachers: They are modified such that they don't put you to sleep (quite a task this one's gonna be) and they don't complicate stuff and teach it!!

GM Husbands: They're a genetic combination in such a way that they have Dhoni's calm, Brett Lee's hair, John Abraham's abs, SRK's wit and sarcasm, Hrithik's eyes, Irfan's smile, Abhishek's height, should sing like Bryan Adams, dance like Ranbir... and most importantly... should be a Gujju!!! (The last condition is to keep you out, Aanch!)

GM Blogging: It blogs a thought the minute it comes to your mind... no need to type, no need to proof read... no need to run a spell check... after all thoughts are above all such mortal things..!
GM Remote: It changes a channel the minute you think about changing a channel... you hurt your poor finger by incessantly pressing keys?
GM Eyes during exams: They're like Viki's (the robot from Small Wonder) eyes.... you just need to flip all the pages of a book to read it!
GM Question Papers: They're modified to mutate quickly and mutate according to the needs of the student reading the question paper! ( I so needed this for paper 4!)

GM Pen: (If Russell doesn't turn in his grave reading this one, then I'll stop blogging!!) A GM Pen works by overwriting the question on the question paper. This overwriting acts as a primer and this primer replicates the answer to the question in the answer paper. However this comes with an assumption that the student has at least made his/her notes so that the answers are in the pen can recognise the primer and replicate accordingly! (For non-biotech people, please don't start self mutilating yourself if you didn't get this one... it was kinda technical... for more information you can refer Genetics by Peter Russell lovingly known as "The Russell"! For biotech people, this is what random priming did to me.... please don't kill me... 2 people have already hung up on me listening to this idea of mine!)

I'm Gonna Miss These Days.... I'm Gonna Miss My College Days...!!!

* Dedicated to my TYBSc Biotech......oops...Last Year Biotech pals..... (yeah the 'BSc' thing hurts!)

You know, this is human tendency so you can't really blame this one on me.... to want something to get over soon and when it actually does, you wish you could have it a tad longer! It just tantamounts humans are greedy.... greedier than even engineers for that matter! (Don't blame me again, engineers themselves admit that they're the most greedy souls!) Yeah, so what my point was that all through last year I wanted Biotech to get over as soon as possible..... but now when the end has begun, its all freaking me out.... leaving the friends....the college....the class...the lab... and most importantly, leaving Biology..... one thing I know ....err KNEW the best!

My University Practicals are over.... and this is when the realization dawned upon me.... Holy Shit.... this is the last time in the Lab! Now when I think of the last year in the lab, I can't help but just marvel at the guts we had! According to the Safety chapter in my Journal.... eating, drinking and talking in the lab is like blasphemy because of the close proximity to bacteria..... but I don't remember doing anything apart from these in the lab! We never really performed experiments.... even if we did, we screwed up the protocol and the reading were never right.. never means NEVER...! And still our exams rock... its just sheer genius, you know!

The fondest memory of the lab has to the PRIVATE LAB! It was a part of the makeshift lab we were in.... and this was the part of the lab where there were no teachers and only here did the burners work.... so we performed(??) all our experiments here between eating brownies, khakhras etc,gossiping and most important of all, clicking pictures during the practicals with funky looking test tubes(Folin-Wu tubes used for the estimation of glucose in blood.... see, I told you, I had studied for my pracs!) posing like we're having tequilla shots from it.....! This lab, I'll also remember for the cockroaches....! Bloody idiots! Also for the the impromptu plans to Bandra.... sample these conversations....

Nupur:     Freak man.... I've not studied for this transposons ka test yaar

Lucky:     Who has?

Ankita:     The weather is so nice.... I feel like going to Bandstand re...!

All of us looking at her..

Nupur:      Ek test bunk mara toh chalega yaar.... Chalo jaate hain

Hetvi:      No re... test hain re....

Lucky:      Lets get moving.....lets go....!! 

Hetvi:      Ok....fine....lets leave college before I start feeling guilty!!!

Ankita:     Yipee!!

Ankita:     (in the private lab, while staining the slide and eating the last piece of oil-                 free... health concious khakhra.... must be from her dabba only!) Kya pakk          raha hain...

Lucky:       Bhuk lagi hain...

Hetvi:        Aaj bahar khaenge....

Nupur:       Option nahi hain..... saare dabbe daff chuke hain!

Ankita:       Lets go to Rennaissance....

All:             Haha... Jokes...!!! You're funny, Ankita!

Ankita:       What? I have 6 free buffet lunch passes....! And they're expiring today...!

All:             F**k..... Are you serious?!?

Ankita:       Yes...!

 I know, there's nothing great in these conversations...... but they were actually whatever LIFE we had in college.... which actually came after 4 years of home-college-classes-home routine! Wrong time to get a life, I know!

What I'm gonna miss are the people... Ankita, Hetvi, Lucky, Manshi, Fatema, Ajay, Ankit.... and Aanchal(dudette you don't have a choice... you've gotta be with me forever!). This was probably the only place where there was reverse discrimination.... girls exploited, (wo)man handled guys, made them do all the work and they did (except carrying our pink colored bags for us...all other colors were ok!). Hats off to Ankit's tremendous patience.... of clicking over 200 pics a day and still suggesting poses for the 201st(dude.. you'll get a special brownie baked by me....ok ok fine by my Mom...for my saree pics..!!I just love them)! To Ankita's "What-are-you-saying..." expression..... trust me...this is like the most mellifluous music to a gossiper's ears..... complete disbelief and shock from the reciever! Lucky's sarcasms.... reminds me of the person I was 3 years back....the same sarcasms with the same expressions!! Ajay being our "Kala Ramu" and doing all our work... Mansh's partying tales... Fatty's not-even-one-bad-hair-day-or-a-bad-clothes-day... Hetvi's meeting half the city on roads.... and Aanchal's Punjabi.... this multi-lingual group was moulded into one culture....language rather... by her! And yeah, the chole of course!! And my Dad wonders how I started talking Punjabi after going to Mithibai!! Man!! I'm gonna miss this!!

I'm gonna miss freaking out my Mom by telling her the exploits of our lab.... eating while using bacteria...and most often than not...without washing hands....and surprisingly not falling sick!! See, there's a logic to it.... If you put live Salmonella in your stomach....its only gonna get immune to it... and you can eat whatever street food...from wherever you want!! Of not sitting in lectures.... how on Earth am I gonna get my inspiration to write my articles??? Gosh.. I guess I'll go there next year as well..... to get 'inspired' for my articles. My best work has come when I've written articles during a boring lecture....whose topic you come to know only when the topic's over! I remember my Dostana Spoof.... I guess one of my best works....which came in those 48 minutes of a senseless lac operon lecture which was as simple as 2+2=4.... but the teacher made it out to be as complicated as figuring out the way to find a way through a guy's ego!! I'm gonna miss it.... miss it all...!

 Gonna miss you all!! Gonna miss the window sill talk at 2 in Vapi....gonna miss the strength you gave me to take steps I would never take otherwise....gonna miss the "hugging spree" ...hugging as if we're meeting next straight in 2020...gonna miss blowing up money on xerox....some of which you already had...gonna miss the dabbas... whom will I now pass on my share of pasta and cannelonni to?!? But I'll always remember that I don't order for something else now, when pasta is ordered... you guys taught me to eat pasta!!! You made impossible possible!! I know, I've made a lot of people sad by this post....but...I needed to write about the fun we had....had to relive those memories..! Please tell me if you liked the post...!!

P.S:    Listen to the song " I'm gonna miss my College Days" by Gaurav.... its nice! 

P.S 2:  Forgot to mention that I'll miss playing Asshole....the card game Sean taught us with Sean, Lucky and Ratan!!

A Chapter From The "Chronicles Of A Fucked Up Life"

People, in a way are not wrong when they look down upon Bsc... for various reasons like:
1. Dearth of future careeer options (Research, my friend, is a pain in the wrong place and MBA requires Maths...something that you've lost touch with since the New Stone Age.)
2. Poor quality of syllabus(Well, this phenomenon is omnipresent!)
3. Teachers.... um...well... (But we're lucky to have a good Biotech staff!)
4. The ample vacation time we get to waste!
5. No scope of enjoyment like bunking lectures for a movie or to sit in the canteen....
6. The size of our journals that supersedes our size sometimes(with my size, defnitely!!)
7. Lack of guys....
8. Because its BSc!!

You can find all these and many more reasons in "The Chronicles of a fucked up life”, a book authored by the specimens of Table One.(If ever some publisher shows guts enough to publish it!). The book is about what not to do in Bsc… ‘Don’t Do Bsc’ is written in gold as the page header!

But still, what makes Bsc clicks for me atleast, are my friends in class.... with them around even the home-class-college-class-home drudgery seems fun! Laboratory doesn't come to haunt us because of Table One(Table One is the table occupied by my friends and me in our lab, where we do all kinds of peevish keedas ). Table One haunting our teachers is another stosry altogether! But now that our teachers have become strict with us this year(Board exams again!) I really wonder if they'd put up with the Table One antics! So to compensate, we've started a new stream of antics in the class itself!

Because we think we study way too much with just one week into college, we need to fill our famished stomachs. How we fill it is a spectacle in itself! 8 chapattis from my dabba, 6 theplas from Ankita's, 5 from Ankit's, 8 from Hetvi's and 5 Aloo Paranthas from Aanchal's(with the aachar ofcourse)and 6 roti's from Ajay's tiffin, fried rice from Hinal's.... all finished in an astonishing 10 minutes by around 9 people. I actually haven't really been able to count the exact number of people eating from our dabbas beacuse I'm too busy in eating... I know, looking at my frame, people feel I'm Kareena's inspiration for the Size Zero figure, but to shock them all, I'll tell you... I eat a lot! We actually eat like people who've come from East Africa and have seen food for the first time in life(no offences meant). I'm really unable to figure out why we eat like such gluttons!! And the mess we create around the table while eating would make the chest of a two year old's mother swell with pride!! Never before have I eaten like this, creating so much mess!

This style of eating, however junglee-ish it may appear to onlookers, gives a great deal of happiness and satisfaction...to us as well as our mothers(Indian mothers... I must say...are behind their kids only for two reasons..1]eating 2]getting married!).We eat like there's no tomorrow, and in a way it is right, after all who knows next year this time, after graduating, where each one of us may land? Someone might be in A'bad(Aanchal, if you don't get through, who will???), someone in B'lore(Ankit, the future genetic expert), someone in BSE(Ankita), someone in USA(me,purportedly married to a Patel in USA..according to my friends ofcourse but,... I'm gonna be in B'bay, trying to get out of the Mithibai gully..... 5 years of college in the same damned gully can be exasperating.... I so hope I don't get in NMIMS ...please God get me A'bad with Aanchal at IIM-A!!). All of us will be separated, all of us treading a different path... its then when all this gluttony is gonna get on to us.... bringing in the memories of these days.... For, hostel food will never taste like our dabbas.... for, one won't be able to hog on the hostel food....for,eating with these people won't match up to eating with anyone else on earth!