Maa Da Laadla Bigad Gaya!!!

What was I like blind to not like John without his shirt?!? I mean that guy looks like a damned Greek God!! And probably the only guy whom I'd like without his shirt! Now, this is the second instance in my life where I'm repenting not carrying my blue whistle with me(the first time was at the IPL match I had gone to see at Wankhede). There were so many siti deserving scenes! John as fannnntttttaassssttiiicc and he's finally learnt acting! You just don't feel like looking at anybody except John. Abhishek doesn't even come in the options! Priyanka with her weird accent is annoying. Can't she speak normally? And her lips are..well... silicon operation gone wrong!

Bobby Deol's also there in the movie. His Chamku look intact. Priyanka confirms her bad taste in men by leaving John for Bobby! And she likes chest hair?? No wonder she's with Harman! She actually didn't LIKE John?!? She's blind-er than me! Besides she was toh living with him in the same (awesome) apartment! Lucky bitch! Miami was shot so beautifully. If I had known this last year, I'd have happily traded my Vegas trip with Miami. Atleast there's no "under 21 not allowed" rule in Miami! But the scene of the movie would undoubtedly be the way John surprised PC on her birthday. Wonderful. Old world charm and old world tricks always work! And the shot of the movie was John drenched in the rain in a white see-through shirt and his hand ruffling his hair (Woooowww..my heart must've missed at least 10 beats!) with guys playing football behind and Kuch Kum in the background!

But the best joke on the movie had to be the one cracked by my Dad, while we were walking out... he was like " Karanya nu chaski gyu che. Potana jaat ni advertise kare che dobbo!!" In English it goes like" Karan has lost it. He's advertising himself, dumbass!!" So, by now you would've guessed how much my Dad (didn't)liked the movie!! He was on the verge of bedakhaling me from his jaidaat for suggesting that we go for Dostana....!!

After my Y-chromosome theory and the Engineers-are-responsible-for-economic-meltdown theory, I've come up with another theory. I call it the Mystery-of-the-sex-ratio-difference-in-books-and-real-life-solved theory. Ok, to simplify the Greek I just threw up, I'll elucidate on what I just said. According to the 2001 census, number of females per 1000 males(sex ratio) was 932. 932 gals for 1000 guys. So that meant there this is an extra of 68 guys. But the main reason for the my stating the stats was that there are so many girls who are single and have no guy for them(read my friends and me...)Because we didn't have "guys" for us, we thought that the sex ratio thing was faulty. But, now, after haven seen Dostana, I can explain why there are no guys for people like us.... because those 68 guys are gay!!! See, this explains everything... the excess guys... no guys for gals... us being perpetually single....causing other group of friends, all of whom are couples to be a group of odd number of people and yeah, of course the lack of privacy couples get in rickshaws due to the presence of perpetually single people! And also the fact that 68 is an even number... it's easier to form couples... 68 C 2(I've just given CAT.. Maths is still fresh!)!! So all singletons will have to wait until one of these 932 couples break up. And keep your fingers crossed that those guys aren't traumatised enough by girls to turn gay!! That would only lead to a rather long waiiiiittttttt!

Love is Blind

Love is blind. And deaf . Probably mute too. Mentally handicapped as well. This is my observation... first hand as well as observed. In 12th std, I tried to decode the way guys behave/think/function in my "Y Chromosome Theory". I expected to win a Nobel Prize for the path breaking service I did to the 3 billion women on Earth, but nothing of that sort happened. So no more Nobel Peace Prize for me. Looking forward to the Nobel Prize for Literature!!!! Just hoping that the level of the Nobel Prize panel degrades when my book comes out!

OK, I'm sorry for the discourse. I wanted to talk about LOVE. When we entered teens, love was a mystery we were looking forward to decrypt. When we are exiting teens, we're still baffled by this yet unsolved mystery and have no more guts nor the ATP in our worn out cells to continue with the decryption procedure. But there's still something about love that keeps us coming back to it. Kinda analogue to cocaine. But more lethal. When we were kids, we just wanted to grow up, and fall in love, ignorant of the fact that wounded knees hurt much less than wounded (smashed/butchered/broken to nano pieces etc) hearts!!

Love is magical. No two thoughts about it.But only for the time it lasts. After it's all over... life is hell! Especially if you're one of the sentimental fools who takes 2 light years to get over people. Here's a low down on how people can fall out of love.

Falling in love is easy. Falling out takes the life out of your soul. But it's not impossible.(it's not Don na! OK, apologies for the joke!!) One needs to really want to come out of that hell hole and be mentally strong throughout the process and have a really really good set of friends who will not let you fall. This friends part is really important because they keep in check all the withdrawal symptoms and their blackmailing (read: Taking out the phone and threatening you that they'd call up your love interest and tell him/her about your feelings for him/her.... in case he/she doesn't know about it already. Trust me it works). But the most important thing is to really feel and MEAN from inside when you say that you actually had it enough and want to get over him/her. Once your resolve is strong, everything will take its own course automatically.

One thing that one does in love is to give in to what your love says. No questions asked. You just do it, even if it's hard on your self respect. The thing is that, we do it, only because there's no time nor the inclination to THINK when the thing happens!!! It just happens ..... kind of an involuntary action. The outcome of this is that we start hating ourselves after everything's over. For neglecting our self respect for a person who probably didn't even bother to care. The I-hate-myself part is the toughest. And it's not right... why hate yourself for something that you did which was right to you? You did it, and now if you are feeling bad, just chuck it out of your grey cells. After all, you can't hate yourself.... you have to live with yourself for your entire life, whereas life with that one person is as uncertain as Deepika Padukone's affairs. Love yourself, it's YOU after all!!! And just think about this... when you were in love..... how many times did you have the time to love and think about yourself.... isn't that a crime on your part not to love YOURSELF.... someone who's the only person who's the closest to you?? (Kinda abstract idea!) Just look into the mirror once and muse over the person you've become after "love" happened and the person you were before that. It'll be motivation enough!

Looking at the amount of sermons I've been giving in the past few days, I think, I can make money out of it by putting it in a book and selling it (See, I still haven't given up on my Nobel Prize dream). I've thougt of the name as well: How To Get Over and How To Get Back With People (It's also about how you can get back with your love!!!) but the thing is that you don't need to be an Einstein to figure it out. Love hampers your thinking abilities. The minute you're out of it, you'll have all the wisdom on Earth to deliver sermons on how you did it, write blog posts, penning down books etc etc...!! Yeh ishq nahi aasan.... but if you're one of the lucky ones for whom it is.... there's nothing like it!!!

They say love is blind. Agreed. But then, why is lingerie so popular????!!!! Think about it!!