December 12, 2008

Dostana....The Spoof


This is just in case MTV people are recruiting! I've never been as obscene as this before... so please pardon me if this post hurts your moral or ethical sensibilities!


*Starring: John, Drona, Chamku, Drona's bodyguard who is also Chamku's chamiya (shit! I never thought this word existed in my vocab!), Chamku's son and Miami.



PART I

Opening Scene: Miami beaches, blue sea, babes and dudes. John emerges out of the sea Ala Ursula Andress wearing Chamku's son's chaddi. This explains the small size and half his butt being seen. Then Drona and John are shown to be sleeping around with women. Different women, thankfully. Then John and Drona meet at the apartment's balcony which is the size of a 3BHK flat in Mumbai! Drona is hugely impressed with John's prowess in bed and checks him out from head to toe. An 'idea' strikes him and he starts nodding his head. The great idea is to turn GAY! This idea makes the women who've slept with Drona, pole dance in joy!


Drona actually had slept with Eeewwsha Koppikar and the trauma of the act made her change her sexuality. She was rather lucky to find a "girlfriend" soon. Her partner too had turned lesbian after a disastrous night with Drona. As a parting gift, Eeewwsha gave Drona a year's supply of Veet(Gosh! the chest hair!!) and DVDs of all superhero flicks, just to drive home the point that superheroes are meant to "guard" other people and not have bodyguard themselves! At least take a male bodyguard, if you want!

This depressed Drona a lot. He lost faith and confidence in himself and hence after a lot of rumination over his "bed" problem, he decided to turn gay so that at least he wouldn't have to "DO" things, the other guy can "DO" it. Drona then made a firm decision to go out and "ASK" John. He searched and searched for John and finally found him, when both of them hailed the same cab. John undressed in the cab itself, ignorant about Drona's switched sexuality. When both of them don't get Drona's bodyguard's (DB) apartment on rent, they began hatching plans to get there. Drona tried to placate DB by reminding her of all the beautiful Drona days they spent together. She slapped Drona hard as she was trying as Drona reminded her of things she was trying to get over! She also gave Drona an IVF kick, which further aggravated his "problem".

DB, however, said she wouldn't mind sharing her apartment if her roommates were gay. Drona jumped in joy and hit his head with the ceiling. What do you expect when a 6 feet tall guy jumps?? He pleaded with John to fake being a gay couple with him to get the apartment. But John was apprehensive of being linked with another man. His girlfriend, Billo Rani, looked like one! He was desperate for a woman who looked feminine.

DB worked with K-Jo. When she mentioned that she shared her apartment with two "mustande" guys, K-Jo demanded to be introduced to them. He didn't even bother taking his 'best friend' KkkRK(pronounced like Kkkiran)'s permission! When K-Jo learnt that John and Drona were a happy couple, they decided to play vamp and separate them so that he could get John. He called up Drona's Pa, thinking that he would separate the couple. But he was in for a rude shock when Pa was very happy about John and Drona. Now, he could "aish" all the way giving a damn about his son!

To be one up in his war with KkkRK, Pa, called him up and informed him of K-Jo's changed interests. KkkRk rushed to Miami after the call with Kanta Ben in tow and dragged K-Jo outta Miami and made him promise to think DESI from that moment and not NRI.

Chamku joined DB's office after K-Jo left. DB went into a depression being with Drona at home and Chamku in her office. She wished she could fast-forward her life and escape that apocalypso... but all she could see in her future was A Love-Story with Her-Man Baweja(he has red chest hair and cries while proposing...such a girl!!!) in 2050... so she jettisoned all those plans as well!

*End Of Part I*

For more information on Drona, DB, John and Chamku, keep visiting http://nupur16.blogspot.com !!! Cheap publicity, I know!!

20 comments:

pooja said...

hey...nice 1..hehe..

Nupur said...

@ Pooja: THanks a ton!

manalee said...

tooooooooo good...loved it!!...
wild and runing imagination..i liked it....to the core...was lauging all thru out the post...lols....rolf....rolf..

Nupur said...

@Manalee: Thanks!!!

AJ said...

woaaahh man...that is so so so cool..satire sprayed in adequate proportions..trust me this is a such a difficult skill,but youve really nailed it..for eg a more feminine female(billo rani),so true!!!!
and the chamku,drona lifts,fab!!!
im waiting for the continuation.

Nupur said...

@AJ: Thanks!!! Guess what?? I wrote the spoof in JP ka lecture.... just couldn't sit listening to that ****!!!
I'm outta ideas for the part II.... please help!

ankit said...

it is gud imaginatn....but u hv to wrk vry hard on part 2 coz da thghts r nt convinvingly put thru in dis part.........

sry 4 being such a critic but ur previous creativity, language skills hv set such a high level dat i alwys xpect a gem of an article 4m u!!!!!!!!

cntinue 2 write things like dis......u cn take help of swami ajayanand for more cheap jokes!!!!!

Nupur said...

@Ankit: I'll try!!

shruti said...

hey did u really wirte this in jp mam's lec??lolzz..atleast u r using dat time fruitfully, not just sleeping or starring!!! it was hilarious!! too good..keep writing..

Nupur said...

@Shruti: Yeah.... it was her first lecture after college reopened!! I could tell you the name of the chaptr she was teaching... but i wasn't paying attention u see!!

Luscious Sealed Lips said...

You seem to be a complete movie buff.

Kisses.

Nupur said...

@ LSL: Yes, I am!

Anonymous said...

hilarious

Arjun said...

hehe... nice.. :)

Be attentive in class... :) lol

Cheers..!!
Arjun

Nupur said...

@Anon: Thank You...


@Arjun: Paying attention in class never benefitted anyone!

The Seeker said...

A first timer here! blog hopping and landed here Hey loved it! a cocktail of satire and sarcassam

Nupur said...

@ Seeker: Thank you for dropping by!

C R D said...

sheesh...seems uve watched the whole movie!

thank god i didnt [:P]

get well soon! ..:))


p.s. jus kidding :P

C R D said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nupur said...

@ CRD: The movie was good!! (Read: JOHN was good!!)