Let's Uncomplicate!

1+1=2 was simple.

x² + 9x +20=0 was simple too where x could be -4 or -5.

But, man (this is not a feminist generalization, I mean human beings in general!!) has to complicate what is simple, so he comes up with scary formulae like           

                    -b ± sqrt  (b² - 4ac)

    x =  ------------------------------          to complicate matters!

                       2a

And as we all know how greedy man is, he wasn't satisfied with screwing up Maths just with Quadratic Equations, so he had to invent Trigonometry, Calculus and the likes!! Making life miserable for Biology loving people!

My basic point of getting Maths on my blog (for the first time) is to drive home the point how we, humans love to complicate things and relations in our lives. We just aren't happy with simple things in life! There's a small adrenaline junkie in all of us, which makes us complicate things that can stay rather uncomplex. 

And growing up adds fuel to the fire. Weren't our childhood relations better and far simpler than what we have now? No wonder, they say, that best friends from school are best friends for life. That's because we weren't afraid of saying 'Sorry'. Anybody and everybody who got a chocolate was our friend. And now when someone gives us a chocolate for no reason, just like how K-serials vamp speak aloud at 110 decibels in their brains, we talk inside ours, wondering what is the person's motive behind giving us a free ka chocolate. Is it because the person likes me or is it 'politics', is it buttering up for a favour or is it drugged so that one of our kidneys can be removed later on *roll eyes like a vamp* (yes, as a writer, I have absurd justifications for an activity...it just shows how imaginative I am!!). A chocolate is a chocolate yaar. It's the fucking consumerism more than the want of eating a chocolate that's making you buy it! (50 bucks for Silk and 80 for Bournville is definitely consumerism.....not an an impulse purchase!!)

There are many friends we make, many, we lose. Why can't we go and shake the lost friends, slap, if the need be to get them back in our lives? This is what even Shahrukh Khan said on Koffee With Karan about his issues with Farah Khan and Salman Khan! There's something that's definitely stopping us. And I'm sure that 'something's is nothing but our egos, you-are-wrong-too and the 'I-had-told-you-so' from the friend that we don't want to listen to. Sometimes, it becomes too late to get the person back, maybe the person has moved on, maybe there's a new 'love interest' in the person's life, making everything else seem redundant to that person or maybe that person is waiting for you to to make the first move. 

I run the risk of being a hyprocrite when I say that I think 'friendship' is more pure relation than 'love', but this is what I've realised in the past one year because, one, you can't get over love easily and two, you just can't do it without friends! But the most important fact remains that you may eventually get over love....but there are certain (lost) friends you can't get over. I have one too! However hard you may try to repress those memories, they just don't get repressed! You may talk once in a while, laugh or even maybe cry, but then that spark is missing. The chemistry, along with Botany and Microbiology is dead! And probably you're just trying to avoid a confrontation by not saying that out loud!! 

Earlier I blamed growing up for screwed up relations. What I forgot was the amount of responsibilities that come onto our shoulder, the changed priorities and the lack of time that we have that takes a toll on relationships too. But, having said that, you can still manage time once in a while for people who mattered and who mattered once! Life, methinks, is not about being busy and not having time, it's about wanting to make the time and taking the efforts to keep certain people in our lives. After all, it's very hard when you have to....and very easy when you want to! How much ever big feminist people may think I am (which I am not!), I think maintaining friendships with men is far simpler than the ones with women!! Come on Ladies, we all know that men are a little less complicated than us!!

P.S : This post is dedicated to that one person whose loss in my life is something I can never get over. Maybe she's over me, or maybe she's not, whatever is the case, for me, 10th August 2006 will always be a day I'd remember and 10th October 2009, a day I'd want to forget! (Women and dates..... you just can't help it!!)

P.P.S : Special thanks to Rucha Shukla for pushing to write something as I had not written for quite some time and to Rahul Mahant for helping me with the Quadratic Equation.... you need to have engineer friends to solve your Math-related queries!!!

Old Romances Die Hard

You know, there are phases in a person's life when one loses himself or herself in the crowd and then, later on,begins to ponder over his/her identity and individuality which had been lost. For me, reading and blogging/writing was my identity. For me it was not Cogito Ergo Sum (I Think, Therefore I am), but Bloggito Ergo Sum! And then, suddenly all this stopped! Thankfully, I started blogging some months back, but the lack of reading still shows on me! I read a couple of books intermittently but that satisfaction one gets from reading a book is missing. The want to be voluntarily socially ostracized while reading a book is missing!! And I'm so happy, that after almost 18 months I'm now back to being the voracious reader that I once was! I'm currently reading Superpower: The Amazing Race Between China's Hare and India's Tortoise and since a week, I've hardly come online and hardly received/made phone calls to people which is quite an achievement for me!! There's a different high in reading a good book....and this one is a cracker of a book...!! Life for me would be heaven if I were to be locked up in a library for the rest of my life (with a daily supply of Subway sandwiches and/or Pizza Hut pizzaz!). Who needs a man for company, when books are such un-complicated and low-maintenance substitutes and they put in some sense in your head unlike the case with men! ('Men' have become the new 'Gujjus' for me...I have to take potshots at them wherever possible!). Old romances die hard....and I just got reunited with my first love!

Talking about old romances, no matter how much people may ridicule me about liking Edward Cullen, my thing for him just doesn't go! Edward Cullen is to women what Angelina Jolie is to men.... no matter what camera angle is used, we'll never find those lips sexy and you shall never find Edward's vampirey smile sexy!!! The thing why women like him is because he's this perfect blend of a chivalrous gentleman who'd die for Bella and this living on the edge, forbidden, bad boy who'd kill for Bella (and Bella too, if the kiss would go too deep!!!) And yes, it is true, girls totally fall for bad boys. There is a totally different level of attraction at work in this case! We may not have testosterone, but we do have adrenaline! This is one reason VJ Rannvijay has done so well in his career! The entire bad boy+biker+adventure sports+piercing thing totally has women swooning for him! And I think he's the only guy who won't be stoned by the fashion police for wearing a tie and blazer over three-fourths because he carries it off so well!! Or maybe I'm the only one deeply in love with him to think like this! The only thing missing in him is tattoos. And this is taken care by Virat Kohli in the Fasttrack ads! I love this ad for sheer attitude he's throwing around although I still don't get the concept of Move On that has been adopted by Fasttrack! Virat Kohli is no Irfan Pathan for me, but he comes close to being my first cricketer crush besides Irfan Pathan in 7 years! Irfan may not be playing for India, but I still like him....Old romances die hard.....didn't I just say that!!!

Talking about old romances, I'm tempted to talk about how stunning Madhuri Dixit looks even at 45. And that smile….it still dazzles more than Edward dazzles in the sun!! And looking at her on TV makes you realize that there was a gap left when she quit acting which still hasn’t been filled. With Saawariya and Dilli 6, I thought Sonam had the acting talent, smile and dancing skills to be the next Madhuri, but now, I feel it was such an erroneous conclusion I was coming to! The ‘style diva’ and ‘fashionista’ tags have been taken rather seriously by her and she’s given them more importance than acting well! Two words that I have for Sonam are vaaydi and chaapli! And I’m still trying to figure out the English counterparts to these Gujju words! Imran Khan was right, Sonam should focus more on movies than magazine covers! Anyways, coming back to Madhuri, I feel proud of one more thing…. Microbiologists have varied talents that go beyond looking into the microscopes!

Old romances also brings up a good question on how to deal when you’re constantly being asked about your ex. Hats off to Deepika Padukone for constantly bearing it and then finally showing off her fangs on Koffee with Karan! But I still feel that silence is the best weapon, it truly is golden and dignified. And most importantly, it hits men where it hurts the most…..not the area…but the male ego! I feel that these actors act better off screen than on screen. I can’t imagine myself talking about my ex right after my break-up with a straight face on national TV without going into a trance!! And then knowing for a fact that he left you for a hotter chick! Ouch, that hurts!! I never like Deepika till now, but her appearance on Koffee with Karan has earned her one fan (and free publicity on my blog too!) She’s been strong and then handsomely rewarded too with the not so handsome looks-wise but veryyyyy handsome money-wise Siddharth Mallya! But she still is one lucky girl for sure.... one scion dumped her and she landed right in the arms of another!

Romance new or old, these days deals with lust more than love, I think! I mean celebs are openly talking about their sex lives on TV, people roam around colleges with love bites on necks….all this makes me think if I’m the only 16^th century fossil around who thinks that sex is best left between two people and a closed door! And then, Indian Television is flooded with making-you-feel-sick-until-you-puke condom ads like this one! The tag-line for this brand I reckon is Excitement that she can’t hide and I feel like asking the brand manager if it’s only the woman who gets excited and not the man…and if that’s the case then I think as a part of Selling Promotions, they need to give Viagra free with the condoms!! Indians make the best ads in the world when it comes to financial products/services and insurance things but why do we suck at making condom ads? Internationally, I believe, condom ads are one of the most creative ones! Check this and this out. They’re really interesting without being vulgar or gross. 

People say one never forgets his/her first love....it's true to a large extent but I think given time, one can definitely move on to such a great extent that the memories of that first love will only bring a smile on your face and make you think as to how stupid you were at that age! It is possible to get over your first love, and just like that even having a good romantic story for yourself is possible. Old romances do die hard....you should know how and when to choke it so that a new one can come :-)

P.S : For people not watching Koffee with Karan, please do some work to increase your general awareness and start watching the show. For starters, youtube the videos to know what I'm talking about! 

Dummies Guide To Gossiping!!

• What is Gossip?

Wikipedia says, Gossip is idle talk or rumour, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. Me says, Gossiping is just passing information from donor gossiper to a recipient gossiper about a gossipee, done to increase the recipient gossiper's knowledge base!

• Who can Gossip?

Technically, only women used to gossip in the olden days. But now, men gossip more than women! Atleast in my college they do! All my gossip sources are men! They know who's going around with whom, who broke up with whom, the reasons for it....everything!! I think this is because women trust men to keep secrets, and now we know what a wonderful job they're doing out of it!!

• When to Gossip?

You can gossip anytime you want. All you need is a gossipee and a donor gossiper with good credibility and a huge reserve of gossip information. For girls, the best time to gossip is during a night over or a girls day out! But there are some exceptions who can gossip even before their board/university exams! 

• Types of Gossip:
• Fact Gossip : This is proven information which is been merely passed to increase the recipient gossiper's worldly knowledge. E.g: You tell your NRI aunt that Deepika Padukone broke up with Ranbir Kapoor.
• Rumour Gossip : This is unproven information, which arises either due to hearsay, gut feeling or random hints passing around. E.g: You telling your NRI aunt that Ranbir cheated on Deepika because of the recent Koffee With Karan episodes.{His idea of that 'Low Battery' thing was totally innovative and cool!!}

• Gossiping Associations, if any : 

This one is made by me and my gossiper friends, so it's not official, but we're still very proud of it. It is called : Association of The Principled Gossipers where we only pass information with a warning about its type and never ever pass a character certificate on the gossipee unless of course it's a Fact Gossip that she's a bitch/slut, until then, she's innocent until proven guilty! Now I'm sounding like a big biatch!!!

• You know you're into gossiping when : 
• Your sentences begin with "You're not gonna believe this" or "Guess what"
• Your sentences end with "What are you saying?" or "This can't be true!"
• The look on your face is always let's-jump-off-the-sixth-floor when you come to know that even girls whom you thought would die single have boyfriends while you're still single! 
• You ping random alphabets to your friends when they're online on their BlackBerry so that they would get irritated and tell you the gossip they're so fiercely protecting!! 
• You feel constipated when you can't get a source who'd convert a Rumour Gossip into a Fact Gossip.
• And to try to do the above yourself, you put up suggestive status updates on Facebook and then try to infer things from the gossipee's likes/comments! 
• You keep in touch with certain people only because they're a powerhouse of gossip!

• Advantages of Gossiping :
• You feel a hormonal rush after gossiping. A feel-good kinda feeling! Guys who are troubled by their girlfriend's crankiness during PMS should most definitely do this!
• Your people and communication skills improve.
• Knowledge is knowledge and no knowledge goes waste!

• Disadvantages of Gossiping
• You can never know what people gossip about your friends because they know you are their friend. (if you don't get it, try getting a famous/most-gossiped-about friend and you'll know what I'm talking)
• You may feel depressed about the fact that the slutty friends of your have a constant stream of boyfriends, the ugly and fat ones also have a boyfriend and you don't!
• You come to know things about yourself....some may amuse you by the sheer amount of rumour in it and some might disturb you for weeks!!!

This is dedicated to all my friends with whom I gossip. And one piece of advice for you guys.....please don't ever get famous and become a well-known celebrity.....because that would tempt me into making a lot of money by writing a tell-all book on you!!! And that would be all Fact Gossip!!

This post is also dedicated to the amazing night over I had at my friend Sweta's place where we realised that a night over can be a hit without alcohol or getting drunk and being single gives you a happily sorted life!! 

As a thank you gesture for having survived my incessant pings on your BB, Utaib, I'll tell you that I'm not influencing/spoiling the girls of your class..... so stop getting jealous/paranoid about it! See, now this mention of you on my blog will make you a celebrity amongst them! And if one of them asks you out and you get married to her....you know what you'll name your first-born!! 

I'd like to end this post by a quote from one of my BFFs, "Boyfriends are for fucking...girl-friends are for gossiping and having REAL fun!!"


One last thing, all the data on my blog was random shit that came in my mind, so if you were doing a project on Gossiping and Google redirected you here....bad luck, mate. Also, I could've put the warning on top, but then I would've lost out on a reader! Sorry, I  have full sympathy for your misery! MBA is making me a big bitch!!