Unlearning The Muteness......

Of Growing Up and... MLIC!

There are days when you want to do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just eat, sleep and repeat the routine. I thought I was the only one suffering from the most extreme bout of lethargy, when my friend, Ajay came with a theory to my rescue. A theory called - 'The Mid Life Inertia Crisis (MLIC)'. Mid life crisis because you're stuck at the crossroads between not wanting to grow up and having to grow up. A time when everything changes. The only good thing that comes out of it is that you start loving and respecting your parents more than ever (yeah, but that still doesn't reduce the number of altercations you have with your Mom over your 'training period' in the kitchen). That was about Mid Life. Actually, I was arguing that it should be Mid Mid Life because, well, you're just a little over 20, so Mid Life sounds really OLD! But then, Ajay argued saying that looking at our current lifestyles we'd be lucky to get to the other side of 40. True. And the Inertia bit in the theory was the lethargy of being comfortable in our current lives to that extent that we don't want any change to pull us out of so-called-comfort zone (e.g: marriage!)

I don't know how many of you actually got the theory. If you didn't, let me know, I'll get you in touch with Ajay.... he's looking for more bakras to validate his theory!

Just before writing this post, I was feeling so lazy that I thought I'd sleep it out, but some brainwave asked me to listen to songs from Wake Up Sid. And I did. After YouTubing the video for Boondon ke moti, all I wanted to do was open my laptop and write! There's something in that song that just livens you up! And yeah... the added benefit of seeing Ranbir getting wet in a white shirt! (oh damn! I sound so lecherous!) I so miss raving about Ranbir to my friends....something I haven't done in years. You have to watch Raajneeti to see how evil and scheming can be hot. You have to watch Rocket Singh to see how honesty can be cute. You have to watch Wake Up Sid to know how rich, spoilt brat-ness can be endearing!

None of the current bunch of actors come even close to him in terms of acting or even looks! The one who comes close to his name...Ranveer Singh... is just an irritatingly cheap wannabe copy of Shah Rukh Khan. What he doesn't understand is that to be cute by being tongue in cheek, you need to have a quick wit and not the desperation to grab a co-star/rumored-to-be-girlfriend's ass on national TV!

Something that happens along with growing up is the increase of impatience! I just saw 5 secs of a song from that Ricky Bahl movie and spewed venom on that poor Ranveer Singh!

One more thing that changes with age is the definition of love. Or maybe it's just coming of age. Love, I think becomes a tad boring as you grow up. Or maybe we just realize that it isn't exactly a fairy tale world out here! Love isn't what SRK showed in his movies.... it's about that effortlessness in writing about it which isn't there anymore. It's more than love these days. It's not wild anymore.... there's no drama in love....because the talk about 'responsibility' takes it all away! Or maybe it's just me.... I'm so used to having so much of drama in my life that the complete absence of it makes me....impatient and annoyingly lethargic! My life may not have drama, but the best thing about being a writer is that you can add drama in others' lives! I'm planning to restart writing the story that I had left mid-way almost 2 years back! Hope I don't let the laziness come between the laptop and me!

Ah! I don't know what I have written. Just wrote the first things that came to my mind! Hope you liked it:) And you know what makes the MLIC more depressing... the rational fact that the world ain't ending in 2012!

Happy new year, BTW!

posted under life | 2 Comments

Of Growing up and... well...just growing up!

Yeah yeah I know it's been a freakishly long time since I last blogged. I don't know... in the beginning, I wasn't in the mood to write anything, and then later on, there was nothing I wanted to write on. Actually, there was lots I wanted to write on, but then, when you know your audience, you choose to not write everything that you actually, really want to write about! Maybe, it's time for an anonymous blog now!

Of late I've been stuck up in the I-don't-wanna-grow-up phase. Staying young, in college was fun. Life was a fully paid vacation. There were no deadlines, no presentations to make. A time when you had lots of time for your family, friends and more importantly ...lots of time for yourself. Now, all you get for self pity are blink-and-you'll-miss-them weekends!

Anyways, one thing that I hate the most about not being a student anymore is the fact that now you're considered as a prey whose wedding is where everyone wants to feast! I mean, I know, I've always been of the mujhe toh bachpan se hi shaadi karne ka shaukh hain but then, now, I have grown up and all of my bachpan ke shaukh have worn off (only for the fact that marriage is only going to make growing up look more serious and yeah .... the mountain of responsibilities on your head... a semi paid vacation at your parents' place is really what you should look at mazimising!)Yeah, so digressions apart, here is a piece of conversation that I was subjected to 47 times last Sunday at a social gathering. Oh yes, I almost forgot the most important thing that changes in your life after you're done with your education - the compulsion to attend social functions which you have very well avoided until now citing reasons like -

"I have my test series going on" - when you're in your 10th.
"I have journals to complete/I have early morning practicals" - when you're a poor hassled science student
"I have presentations to make" - when you're an even more hassled MBA student

And you made excuses to stay back home and enjoy watching TV with no one to disturb you! But now, there are very few excuses that you can make -

"I have a bad headache"
"My stomach's hurting" (and being a girl, you can ALWAYS get away with this one!Hehaw!)
(This is the season's favourite) "Oh damn! I so wanted to come...but this friend of mine is getting engaged/married today"

See, this is one more downside of growing up - you have an attention span of a butterfly! I was supposed to share with you the conversation I had 47 times the other day. It goes like....

Me : (visibly forced to mingle around) Hello, how are you?

Aunt: (visible excited at the sight of a new bakra) I'm good. How about you? So which CLASS are you studying in?

Me: (visibly irritated at still being thought of as a school kid ...even at 23!) I'm done with my studies...I'm an MBA now... and have been working for almost a year now!

Aunt: (visibly more excited at the possibility of another wedding to attend) That's nice! So now it's time for your marriage!

Me: (visibly irritated with having the same conversation for one of the 47 times!) Haha! Let's see!

So, my point is why is marriage the next destination after studies? That's the entire problem with our society. We just don't want our children to breathe. There's always another destination to go to. Another train to catch, another job to take, another assignment to finish. Why can't we just stand back and enjoy where we are today? It's more peaceful and satisfying that ways. I know, marriage is inevitable and like all girls, I too have been dreaming of my Prince Charming and my wedding since I was gifted my first Barbie, but right now, I want to have some time for myself, because like everyone my age, I'm too damned confused about what I want in life! A simple example would be expecting an answer to the question - what is the kind of a guy that you want? It looks simple, but it's not a simple question to answer. You're confused about which are the qualities that you REALLY want and which are the ones that you can let go of. And it's a tough call to take.

I'm sure this post must be a real shocker to all those who know me well and are very well aware of my 'sabki shaadi ho rahi hain, meri shaadi kab hogi' cries! But then, like they say, people grow up and I'm trying to maintain pace with my growing age!

Another reason why you don't want to grow up is because you know there's another generation behind you who's faster and smarter than you are and the fact that though you're only 5 years elder to them, they consider you to be from another generation. I was in for a shock when my 18 year old cousin made that very clear to me when she actually said that I'm from another generation because I couldn't fathom the meaning of a couple of words that are commonplace for today's JC students! And the fact that all my younger cousins laugh at my lack of knowledge of technology and still having a high end phone is a sever blow to the ego! What they don't understand is that, self pity aside, weekends is all the time you have and sleeping then is what you would love to do the most! Guess, I will have to wait for them to come on this end of the line to know what it's like being called belonging to a different generation!

P.S - Marriage woes aside, now, I'm scared of what my kids, who's have a good 25-30 years age gap with me think about me....If 5 years is another generation, 30 years would be Stone Age!

Strong reason for not getting married!!

posted under life | 6 Comments

Of Growing Up And... Complicated Thoughts

Habits, they say is an acquired pattern of behavior that often occurs automatically. And addiction arises from habit due to a habit forming substance. So, where does love fall? Is it a habit, as it an aberration of your normal behavior sort of acquired over a period of time? Or is it an addiction, resulting from a very serious habit of the person one loves? What really is love? It just can’t be a mere feeling. Love, I believe, is more potent to be called a ‘feeling’. Love makes you want to do crazy things…even sing songs atop the Alps in miniskirts and thin chiffon sarees to wanting to kill someone. Love makes you forget reason. Just like addiction does. So does that mean that love is an addiction? But, then, not everyone does the aforementioned things while in love? So does that mean they love their partners any less? Or is it that they are plain sane (and boring!) Maybe for them, love is just a habit which hasn’t reached the addiction level. Or is it that love is something totally different and I’m thinking too much into it.

When we talk about habits, I feel there are many things besides love that can be habits. Like people for example. There are some people, who become habits. Friends, crushes, family… So what happens when the one to whom you are habituated to moves on in life, while you are at the same place?
And then because you have to also show that you have grown up, there’s ego that plays a very important part. So, what would win…habit or ego? Both are equally strong and equally hollow. Would reason have a role to play in the fight? Would it be a referee declaring who’s the winner or would it be a third side in the already existing tug-of-war between ego and habit and complicating the situation further? Someone I know told me, that the only thing stronger than ego is reason. But what if the ego doesn’t let the reason to sound reasonable enough? What would happen to habit then?

What about lust? Is it a habit or an addiction? Or just very intense love? Then what is obsession? Is lust stronger or reason? Does this reason stem from logic or from preset beliefs? Then this takes us to a totally unchartered dimension… what’s stronger….reason or beliefs? But what if beliefs are wrong and so strong that you can’t see reason… at a level wherein beliefs become faith? What if our faith is wrong? Would it still be called faith? But then when we are doubting the basic premise that differentiates hope from faith, how can it still be called faith? It would then be hope or a belief. What is it that drives terrorists to kill people? Is it hope, faith or belief?

Or is it that all the above questions that I raised were totally subjective? Maybe they were or maybe they were not. If they were not, someone is gonna have faith issues!

P.S – I was not high on weed while writing this post.

P.P.S – Some habits are beautiful. Ms. Aanchal Bhugra, you were my most beautiful habit. My blog misses you… and so do I. Stop being a kanjus marwadi and start commenting like an extravagant Punju!!

posted under aanchal, faith, hope, life | 5 Comments