October 31, 2010

For The Love Of Shoes

Since the past 10 days or something, Khar and Bandra have been painted red with ads of this particular brand. For the first few days, it was a teaser campaign. All that was revealed in the brilliantly creative ads was that the ads were for a shoe brand. Some of the teaser ads that I remember had their copies something like "Is there anything like too many shoes?Not in our world" , "More than women, men have a lot to thank the person who invented stilettos!" but the killer-est of all was " A Stiletto is more an attitude than just a high heeled shoe!!" I just absolutely loved the last one! It was huuuuge banner right outside Bandra (W) station.....right near the exit which co-incidentally comes near the ladies compartment!!! What a positioning of the ad! The size made sure no one missed it, and the positioning, well, had women let go 2-3 of the much coveted autos near the station as they were just fixated with the picture of a red stiletto that was alongside the copy!!!   

Then the teaser period was over and it was revealed that the shoe brand was Tata's foray into shoe retail with a new brand called TASHI. And the ads that came up later on were as amazing as before! The entire campaign (creative) was handled by Leo Burnett. My thing for getting into advertising is getting stronger by the day!

When I used to look at other people who used to have a passion for collecting things, I would often wonder, what's my passion? Something that I would collect? People loved and collected watches, for some it was bags, for some other  people, it was books. When I used to look at them and envy their passion and collection, I'd pacify myself and say, "I love blogs, and I'm proud of the collection I have and I'm constantly on the lookout for better blogs", but I still felt the need to have something more tangible to collect. I'm a human afterall, and a Gujju at that....showing off is coded in each of my nucleotide!!! 

During a boring afternoon in May when I was passing time chatting with Manalee to ward off my jobless afternoon at my summer internship office, she suggested that we work our asses off for a year, earn great bucks and then go spend all of it on designer stuff in Bangkok in an all-girls trip in 2012.(And you thought Bangkok was heaven only for guys!!!!). Then, I went on the Jimmy Choo website and looked for some shoes.That's when I totalllllllllllly fell in love with them and found my tangible passion!! It was this pair of shoes that took my breath away. Red stilettos.....and when paired with a LBD (Little black dress) and red nails, an amazing solitaire on your finger and a sexy clutch......what else would a woman want (to kill other women with jealousy and men with....you know what!). Yes, for people from my class wondering where else they've seen the shoe, you've seen it on my mobile.....it's my wallpaper when I'm too tired of looking at my pics!


So, now, I'm all geared up to spend most of my earnings on Jimmy Choos, Manolo Blahniks, Aldos and Nine Wests! Right after I saw these red pumps, I happened to watch Sex And The City- The Movie (1) and when Mr.Big proposes to Carrie with this (pic below), I for the first time, felt the need for a diamond ring to be obviated if I were getting something like these!!! But if my guy loves me too much and would want to see a smile on my face, he can get me the ring too.... I won't mind at all! In return, I'll forgive him for forgetting one birthday and one anniversary! And if he's making a shoe closet in our home and letting me buy shoes enough to just fill the closest, he can forget birthdays and anniversaries forever! I'll never complain or frown. The next day after the forgotten day, he should just go and buy me a new pair of shoes. That's all I'd ask for! See, I'm gonna make such a wonderful wife! I'm so understanding!! 

See, at the end of the day, a woman wants only 4 animals with her... A Jaguar in her garage, a tiger on the bed, A mink in her closet....and a donkey to pay all the bills!! 

P.S: Thank you Aanchal, Vinod, Smeet, Rao and Shraddha for participating in my midnight poll and helping me choose the hottest LBD! 

October 26, 2010

There's Something About Love!!!

As kids, we read about it in fairytales, as teens/tweens, we read it in the Twilight series.... that there'll be one day when there'll be a knight(vampire) in shining armour who will come and sweep you off your feet and take you with him on his white horse(shiny silver Volvo) to a castle far far away for a lifetime of happily ever after. And since that day, you've been dreaming of the perfect day with the perfect guy in the perfect white dress.

You're one of the lucky few to fall in love with a non-jerk guy who's head over heels for you, who'd do just about anything to see a smile on your face, but you still can't have your happily-ever-after with him. Why? Because you forgot that you, who prays at a temple can't marry a guy who offers his prayers at a mosque. Because you eat dhokla and he eats dosa.... so your parents don't want you two to marry because they're concerned with what your kids would eat and where they would pray!

Since May, all I'm seeing is one after another relationship falling apart. Seen about 6 break-ups, and half of them are because the guy was a jerk who cheated on his all-loving girlfriend(I have numbers and live examples, so all you people who'd rush to say that I'm being a feminist may well shut their traps!), and the other half was due to the fact that there's no future for an inter-caste marriage in India. Not yet. Not even in the 21st century!! The most funny part that I can see in this situation is that this generation of ours is the guinea pig of all cultural transitions.Because we're obedient enough to break up our relationships for our parents......but I don't think our kids are going to be that obedient!!!!!

I love and respect what parents do for their kids, but this is the only aspect of the American culture that I prefer over its Indian counterpart. Having the right to choose our own life partners. And I think this tendency comes from the fact that we Indians are too used to be spoon-fed. Be it at home, where we have our Moms clearing up after us, teachers giving us question banks before exams, loving girl-friends to do assignments, we just love being spoon-fed. That's why this entire arranged marriage concept worked for so long. I'm not against this concept.....I'm just against it being forced on people who've found their partners themselves.

People also say that why fall in love with a person you know you can't have a future with? The answer to it is simple.... LOVE. There's something about it that makes you forget the world. Even your rationale that tells you you're gonna get hurt real bad one day. Maybe your ego and superego go to sleep...and it's only your Id that's working....which needs instant gratification.....which is the person you're in love with! There was this interesting article I read online, which spoke on the same lines. You can read it here. Also, a long time back I had this debate with a friend as to which is a more powerful emotion.....love or hate. Being an incurable and hopeless romantic, I said it's love and my friend disagreed and gave me a very good example of hate being the more powerful of two and she said, that's what explains, the brainwashing of recruits while training them for the so-called  jehad, and I didn't have a counter argument to her then, but now, after witnessing certain things in 3D life, I have the perfect example to fight back! Sample this. Your ex, just after 2 months of break up with you starts seeing a new chick while you still spend nights crying over him. So you hate the new bitch he's with. You hate her not because she's a low life or whatever..... you hate her only because you still fucking love your ex and maybe she's fucking him!! You wouldn't have cared about this low-life bitch had you had a new arm-candy to yourself, isn't it?? Point proved. One-all, Aanchal!

When I spoke about inter-castes to my Mom, she said, that they don't work because there's a cultural difference between the two people that would come into action once the honeymoon period of the relationship is over. The point is valid till some extent, but, I think people from this generation, you and me, we are from the same culture.Let's call it the Facebook culture. I think our parents' culture is different, and they'll never understand our need to Facebook and our Facebook culture! And in the Facebook culture, all that matters is that you're in a relationship.....with whom? No one cares!! And just like Facebook, it would be so cool if you could block your profile and lives selectively from all the prying aunts!!

P.S : I know this was a sensitive topic, and my views could've been blasphemous to many, but, I don't give a rat's ass!!

P.P.S: For people who've not noticed, I've boycotted talking to people who remembered my birthday but didn't CALL ME to wish because they were either travelling or sleeping when I called to remind them to wish me. I am upset and angry!!

October 10, 2010

Why a guy would want to be a girl

*Reposting an old post*

Read Why a girl would want to be a guy here

  • You're the most protected and sheltered one in your family
  • You can wear pink....
  • You can carry off floral print without looking like a Hawaii return or a Gujju!
  • Nobody accuses you of cross dressing if you happen to wear your guy's shirt
  • You do not have to pay anywhere!
  • You get rickshaws/taxis comparatively easily.(Your one "rickshaw" call launches a thousand rickshaws!)
  • You never have to take the pain of driving...you just have to grace the front seat.
  • Your primary business in the car is changing the CDs(Giving directions is futile...they're never acted upon,even when you're DEAD SURE about it!)
  • You never have to do anything... most of the times things are taken care of!
  • If they are not, then all you need to do is flutter your eye lids at great speed and say PLEASE in a very soft and bechari voice!
  • You're Daddy's favourite... hence you've never heard the word NO!
  • You can GOSSIP and BITCH...that's the centre of the universe for you
  • Cat fights have made you a stronger person, physically!
  • Your punches may not hurt.....but your nails definitely do!!
  • You have reservations everywhere! eg: buses and trains!
  • You do not have to pay fees in junior college and school
  • You abuse in English... and sound classy
  • "P" words from you scare the most toughest of guys! (Pregnancy, periods, PMS etc)
  • Sports means flying-in-the-air hair,cute faces, bulging biceps, strong hamstrings....in short Greek God replicas in the form of sportspersons!
  • You get to put wear make up and look like a Homo Sapien
  • You are pampered and loved the most when pregnant.
  • You can give birth.... something that's so selfless.
  • You are mentally very very very strong.
  • Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned....
 And the most important of them all.....
  • YOU CAN CRY!!!

October 6, 2010

How to identify a Gujju guy in a crowd....

  • He wears a lot of gold. Lesser than Bappi Lahiri, though. And far lesser than a Malayali bride. But still, nevertheless, he wears gold. 
  • He has a paunch showing that he's from a khaata peeta ghar. 
  • They live to eat. Though they are the most phatoo people on earth, diabetes and heart diseases don't deter them from their Sunday binging on gathiya and jalebi and chundo with every meal ofcourse! 
  • Being overweight is a must! (My grand-dad once told me that when I'm gonna go groom-hunting, I'm gonna get rejected a lot....only because I'm underweight!!!)
  • He doesn't need airbags in cars for safety..... now, you know the reason why!
  • He's a regular customer adding up to the revenues of Navratna tel. And yet, they're mostly bald!!
  • A Gujju Man who doesn't invest in the share market is not a man enough!
  • He wears floral prints and shirts with embroidery. If they could, even strict formals would have embroidered peacocks and other birds design on them. With Svaroski crystals ofcourse!!
  • The only thing that differentiates a Gujju man's shirt from a Gujju woman's saree at a wedding is the absence of a blingy pallu
  • All they can talk about is food and money. Their priority depends on hunger level. 
  • No matter how rich they are, they have to make an obscene show of wealth....which in most cases is without class!!! See Mukesh Ambani's building in South Mumbai....it looks ugly!!!! 
  • Because they're from the business class, they're never seen indulging in any activity that doesn't give them money in return. So when the entire nation is rioting, you can be rest assured, Gujju men would be sitting at home gorging on thepla and dhokla. (the only exception was Godhra riots...but from what I heard from my relatives, the business class stayed away from it)
  • Even a 22 year old person is a babo/baby to them.
  • They don't do charity. The only charitable act they readily do is get a lot of rishtas for the aforementioned babo/baby who are clearly not interested in getting married.
  • They think of doing a G-U-J-J-U sequence from Kal Ho Na Ho at their babo/baby ki wedding!! Because they thought it was a true representative of who they are.
  • The first names that cross their mind while naming kids have to have an esh at the end of the name for a babo's name and na/sha ending for a baby's  name! (Jignesh, Jigisha,Jigna.....get the drift???)
  • The ideal hangout place for them on a Sunday evening is some relative in Borilvli/Kandivli/Malad/Ghatkopar/Mulund who wasn't quick enough to find someone else's place to go and hang out!!
  • A wedding reception is judged by the tola of gold the bride brought with her, the food at the wedding and the number of people at the wedding.
  • The wedding will never take place in any place other than the 5 mentioned
  • They haven't cleared their metric (10th standard), but will be seen giving career advice to graduates!
  • They're so much into business that even the things which are none of their business is also their business!!
  • Gujju men will never be seen doing any of the household work.... remember Indravadan Sarabhai's Main phone nahi uthaunga......main mard hoon!!! (from Sarabhai vs Sarabhai). They can't get up to even get a glass of water or take their own medicines!
  • They all think cracking jokes on their wives is funny. (Well, some of them are!!)
  • They have egos double the size of Burj Khalifa
  • Still, only Gujju men can laugh at themselves! They love self-deprecating humour!! 

After reading this post, I now know that I'm never getting married!!!!! Or I may get married to a Gujju guy who is smart, intelligent, rich, good looking, speaks good english and is nothing like what I've mentioned so far..... so if you think you are that, leave a flirtatious comment with your display pic on! 

And for ending the post, you have to absolutely see this video......... 

Gujju men, I know you don't riot....so please don't come hunting for me!!!!

Why A Girl Would Want To Be Guy...

*Reposting an old post.... I don't think many people have read this....*

  •  You're not subjected to a free full body scan the minute you step out of     the house.
  • You can wear/not wear anything you want without thinking about what log kahenge
  • People look into your EYES while talking to you
  • The world's your toilet!!
  • You are allowed to drive on the highway...(You're allowed to drive in           the first place!)
  • You can abuse in Hindi!
  • Your punches do hurt other people
  • You can watch sports without being asked "Who's the guy who sparked this sudden interest in football??!"
  • Beer, football and friends together are UTOPIA!
  • You understand football and the difference between off-spin and leg-spin in cricket
  • You'd go nuts if a Ferrari was parked near your building because you realize the importance of it!
  • You have at least the benefit of doubt of being able to pass engineering!(With my Maths and Physics I know  why I didn't even have the benefit of doubt!)
  • You have relaxed and flexible curfew timings
  • You can afford getting drunk because you don't have to care about who'll drop you home
  • Pleasure is never a pain for you.... not even the first time!!!
  • You are not scared of bikes or rather being spotted on a bike with a person of the opposite sex
  • You probably haven't heard of or do not care about PMS
  • You don't have to undergo labour or the frightful stretch marks after it!
  • You don't have to undergo the terrible pain of depilation every 4 weeks...you can roam around like a hairy orang-utan all your life
  • Boys night out is not at all about gossiping and bitching....
  • You don't have to think twice before the second helping of the Blueberry Cheese Cake
  • You an wear white in the rain.
  • Butter zyaada Pav Bhaji can be relished without appraising the calories
  • Your name is yours forever

  • And the most important of them all......... YOU DO NOT HAVE OESTROGEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!