January 29, 2009

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire??

It's the season of millionaires.... As usual, ironies in life at its best. On the one hand we have recession biting into people's pockets and on the other hand, we have millionaires being the toast of the season!! Even if they're onscreen millionaires, so what... after all, millionaire MILLIONAIRE hota hain!! So, here's Nupur's list of how you can be a millionaire (no need to go to slums for that!! See, my blog saves you the effort and money!)

10) Suggest people how to be a millionaire and charge them 10% royalty after they become one! 10% of 10 L = 1L.... so you need only 10 bakras to be a millionaire yourself!!!

9) Have a fling with a celebrity with a wild lifestyle... the Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan clones, be sure of getting full on media coverage and then after your break up (you didn't really think yours would be a long term commitment, did you?!!?), write a TELL-ALL book and rake in the moolah

8) Sell all the gold you have!!Gold prices are at an all time high.!! Considering the fact that you're an Indian, would mean you'd have enough gold to make you a millionaire!

7) Go to the US, eat at McDonald's, Subway, Pizza Hut... anywhere in short, fall sick (highly improbable, though...!! Your intestines are used to any new mutated species of Salmonella... You survive on Mumbai street food, afterall!!), yeah so fall sick and then sue them for a couple of million dollars!!

6) Rather than investing in the stock market, bet with your buddies on which will be the next company to declare bankruptcy/fraud. It'll provide you with rich dividends, if you place your bet properly!

5) Open a xerox ki dukaan outside Mithibai. Trust me, there's no competition there!! There are like 17-18 xerox wallah, still we have a half an hour waiting period. Their daily income must be only a few cents less than Mukesh Ambani's!

4) Go, participate in a money based quiz show... like KBC... and put all your bachpan ki yaadien together and win the money! (sorry, no creativity this one has!)

3) Now, this was suggested by my Mom after she went broke paying for my admission forms: Open a B-School, or rather, just sell your prospectus and become a BILLIONAIRE. Sample this, 1200 on an average per form. At least 50000 fools buy the form... this is 60,000,000= 60 million!! 60 times more than what you asked for. And if you're one of the greedy souls, charge them separately for GD/PI too.

2) Dare anyone copy this idea- you never know, I might be doing it in a few years... just in case none of the people who read this and became millionaires, or they became mean and didn't give me the 10% of their money: Marry a rich NRI!!! There are a lotta rich, Gujju NRIs in USA.... and surprisingly, they're cute too!! When I last checked them out, I didn't have much time to check for their brains, but considering the fact that their siblings went to Wharton, they'd have at least something of a brain in them!! (Yes, you're right, this is in reference to the cute NRI I had a crush on when I went to the States!!).

But,the NRI of the season has to be Dev Patel!! My non-Gujju friends any which ways think that I'm gonna marry an NRI Patel (All Gujjus don't marry Patels, dumb friends I have, I know!). But I don't mind Dev... he's tall,dark and handsome.... and yeah a rich NRI too!!

Now, the number one trick in case no 10 to 2 failed...... Go rob a bank....or even a casino in Vegas would do...! You'd even get free liquor there!!

All my money mindedness should be blamed on the fact that I'm gonna be doing an MBA.... I was never like this before!!! Any which ways, go ahead, follow the Nupurvani, become karodpatis... and send the 10% wala cheque to me!! May the Force be with you..! (Am not much of a Star Wars fan, but the only two things I liked were this line... and the guy who played Anakin Skywalker ... in the movie where he turns evil.. don't remember which one it was though!!)

January 11, 2009

The CAT woes continue...!!

OK the honeymoon is over and now no more watching stupid senseless movies in the name of completing the journal (I'll have to complete the remaining part of the journal umm..er.. well by actually reading what's written in the journal I'm copying from).... now is the time to brace myself for the RESULTS of the n number of entrance exams I gave and be slapped right in the face everytime! I see myself taking a drop and giving all the exams next year again... oh F**K...that means spending 7300 bucks again?!? No!! (7300 only if the test fees remain constant and don't get affected by the inflation/recession!) And yeah, will give the tests again next year only if I'm eligible next year... i.e. I score more than 50% in my graduation.... an event which I don't see happening this year... hell ya... I have only one chance here!

For all the people whom I've subjected to my MBA woes, I got 90.47 percentile. And to be honest I feel happy and sad.
Happy because
  1. My sister stopped laughing at my Math skills (finally). I did it... got two digit, positive marks and cleared QA cut off only for the third time in my life... yay!!
  2. I stopped quitting and escaping... I fought!!
  3. I think it's a great score for a first attempt.... I expected only 20 percentile from me... 10 minutes before the paper!! I was just being realistic... I thought the 40-question section was Quants!!! I would've got only 9 percentile then!!
  4. My parents are happy
  5. I'm in the top 10% people in India!! yay! (a very subjective statement, though!!)
Sad because:
  1. This was probably my only shot at getting this score.... it's not that I can't get it again... all it's gonna take is one sarcastic laughter from my sis and I'll be all charged up to prove her wrong!... but jokes apart... next year I'm not gonna have 40-question verbal to push my score!! To add to it, CAT's online next year. I can't solve papers on the computer... the paper-pen feeling is essential for an exam. Next year, verbal ain't gonna be less ambiguous as it was this time! (Thank You God!!) This time ka verbal was like a cake walk as compared to CAT 07!!
  2. If I could get 90 percentile by studying in a month... I can imagine what my score would've been had I started studying the minute I joined my classes!!(July 07!)) 99.99 percentile for sure!! The classic Nupur regret!! I have this regret everytime I give an exam... yet I don't sudhrofy!! (Now that CAT's over... you'll not find me jhadoing hi-fy English words!)
  3. To be honest I expected more in Verbal... I'm not being greedy yaar...!! TIME analysis said 98 percentile... but when you get 95... you're shocked!!
  4. Because my relatives think 90 is the awesomest score anyone in the family has got(irony: I'm only the second person to give CAT in my family!) and even with 90... I'm as stranded as I would've been with a 50.... or 70! It's just to impression jhaado in fronta people that you got 90...!!
  5. IIM-A is IIM-A!!! And I'm not going there. :(

IIFT results were out weeks back and I'm not going there as well. SNAP results out as well... and don't even talk about it to me! TIME and IMS analysis said a score a night before the result.... and the result the next morning was a cool 19 marks less!! I've never been more shattered before! Goes there... 2 probable calls..! I mark my answers in the question papers and then correspondingly in the answer paper... only to minimise marking errors.... I know that is the only reason for the low score I got... but somehow... I can't make so many marking errors...!! My numbers aren't this bad!! Couldn't even bloody cry for 10 hours.... was in a complete shock..! Even brushed my teeth for half an hour so that I didn't have to speak!! But I've let it go... Mom always had something against me going to Pune... guess she's right, as always.... and as always... I didn't listen to her only to regret later..! The doors are closed.... I have the faith in myself to be able to open a window..!

After SNAP fiasco... I don't expect anything from NMAT. I'm mentally prepared for a drop...! Now, nothing can break my morale!! I'm prepared for the worst too... no MBA, just in case I don't get 50% in my Univ exams!! I'm serious!! I'm barely able to rote now...!! And suddenly biology seems less interesting than Maths... never imagined I'd say this in my lifetime! My Mom mentioned keeping the MS option open... and I looked straight in her eye and said... you rather get me married... I CAN'T do MS!! Even one of my teachers asked me about my plans after TY... I said MBA and I could hear her saying "Thank You for sparing Biotechnology!!" to herself!

All in all.... the end mood I'm in is HAPPY. A firm believer of "Whatever happens, happens for the best". I've gotten over CAT/IIFT/SNAP. I'll get over NMAT and TY too..!(I can get over anything but love... ok sorry... sad joke!). I already have an alternate profession in mind... being a blog reviewer... If such a thing exists!! Now, that reminds me... I'm dying to read a COOL blog( my definition of a 'COOL blog' : A blog which is funny, witty, sarcastic, easy reading and has me mentioning it to my friends... they aren't interested in intellectually civilised things like BLOGS!! But I do my job... talk aimlessly and they do theirs... not listen to me and yeah give me the "Shut-up-you-blogger" look!!) So please, if you have any such blog in mind... lemme know.. I'll thank you in my next post and immortalize you in the hallowed posts of my blog! Please... refrain from self-advertising....! Self advertise only if you're GOOD! (my definition of COOL and GOOD are the same, FYI)

Nupur's Song Recommendation: "Take Me To Your Heart" by Micheal Learns To Rock.... a lovely song...! Read the lyrics on my friend Pooja's facebook profile.. Thanks Pooja! See, my "immortalizing-people" spree has begun, so you better suggest some GOOD stuff!!

January 8, 2009

Movies, Movies.... and many more movies!!

Hello... Happy new year!! Hope you did something more happening than what I did on the New Year's Eve (I was sitting at home, getting bored, for the records!). Now, I didn't really feel like partying... for the basic reason that keeping aside my 1.5kg heavy journal was proving to be a tough task for me! Now, in the past week, people were spared of my posts because I was making yet another futile attempt of finishing my journal... guess it'll be done when my kids would be getting ready for their convocation! I don't see anything happening before that!

I've seen a looottt of movies while completeing the journal. The maximum being 3 on one day... Saanwariya, Dil Kabaddi and Sorry Bhai on one day... from 8pm to 3.30 am! Now, I know people hated Saanwariya, but I really liked it.. that's why I saw it for the second time. Firstly, it was a SLB movie, secondly, I love the story(the book is much better though... it's called The White Nights, by the way. Didn't mention the author because you'd anyways not know how to pronounce his Russian name!) thirdly, Ranbir Kapoor and fourthly, I really like Sonam Kapoor... she's much better than Deepika! Genes do help sometimes! Saanwariya is really nice if you don't mind the pestering songs and the slow pace. I'm waiting for another Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam from SLB.. it's time!!

Dil Kabaddi... well, I don't really know what genre to put this movie in... it was really something! I guess it was like the softest version of soft porn minus the nudity! The movie was not even average... had to sit through it, actually (I was too lazy to change the DVD!!). But there was one thing I learnt from this movie... that for some people falling out of love and then falling in love with someone else still while being in a relationship with the former is so freaking easy!! Gosh!

Sorry Bhai was nice. Chitrangada is pretty! And the story was nice actually.... not very good... but bearable... actually right after Dil Kabaddi, anything except RGV movies is bearable! The songs are good too. The end was really nice... the twist of course!

Had seen Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi the earlier day. It's a sweet movie... actually much better than what I had expected. When I heard that that Anushka dame doesn't recognize SRK, I thought what crap has Aditya Chopra got down too... maybe he was suffering from the RGV fever... to descend from the height of creative ingeniuty to utter rubbish! If you don't mind this point, the movie becomes really nice. SRK as Suriji was too cute... all husbands should be like that! And all boyfriends should propose like the way Raj did!! The songs are not great except for Tujh main Rab dikhta hain. I never liked this song earlier when Ajay and Aanch used to sing it. I have even laughed at my friends when they said that could see Rab in their love.. but when I saw that song, even I could. I know I'm born filmy, but seriously, it's not that you see your love's photo in God's photo or anything(not that filmy also!), but when you listen to that song, all you can think of is that one person you love/loved/thought you don't love, but actually you do. Rab ne, in no way is anyway closer to DDLJ... no songs are of that calibre... I won't even compare any other aspects... DDLJ was like Bible.... and there's no other Bible. Waiting for the New Testament from Aditya Chopra, SRK and Kajol... what they created was MAGIC.... !

Saw Hijack too.... and still alive. Esha Deol contradicts my theory that genes help! This movie should get the BEST DIALOGUES award. Sample this
Esha: I'm scared
Shiney: It's normal in these(hijack) situations!
Esha: This is a hijack situation.... it's a hijack... do you bloody even know what a Hijack means??
I'm speechless...!! I'll leave it at that. Nothing new in this movie. Been there, seen it all.

Seen a lotta inconsequential movies too, thankfully not full.... my patience gave way in 10 minutes and for once my laziness also obliged me by letting my finger move on the remote.... like Koi Dil Main Hain(no, it's not a K serial.. but a 3 hour movie), Cash... and the likes..!! I seriously need some journal and movie rehab now!!

Now, for some updates on the new releases. Marjaani is awesome... listen to it at full blast... a lovely track! SRK looks fantastic in the song. The other one with Deepika is well un-comprehendable. I can't make out what Neeraj Sridhar is singing..! And Deepika... er.. well... the size of her tops is never more than the size of a bikini top!!! Seriously! She dances well, but somehow she doesn't have the feminine grace that Sonam Kapoor has... something that Madhuri and Aishwariya had...! Sonam is fantastic in Dilli 6... the song Masakali is great... ofcourse AR Rahman!! I really like this dame.First actress I've liked since Madhuri Dixit. (liked Ash only in HDDCS...she was phenomenal in that movie!). I just hope she doesn't become bitchy in some time! I want Victory to release really soon... at least then will they stop showing the promos..! I've jettisoned my plans of watchin this movie... I'll watch Brett Lee in the IPL...!! Wanting to end this post on a good note... Slumdog Millionaire is finally releasing.... I hope they release it in English also..! Jai Ho... is an awesome track!

January 7, 2009

Why Is It That...

Why is it that.....life always changes its questions when we have found the answers to the previous questions? Why is it that we look for answers whose questions we don't know? Why is it that answers to even the most obvious questions are so dreadful? Why is it that we fear answers to certain questions but in heart of hearts we want to know the answers? Why is it that we fear asking questions to that one person from whom we desperately want an answer?Why is it that, that one person never asks us "the question" whose answer we have rehersed time n again in the bathroom? Why is it that, that one person never realizes that he has to ask "something" n we have to answer "something"? Why is that when we finally muster up the courage to finally ask "something" .....he says....."I'm a bit busy can we talk later"? Why is it then day in day out u wait for that one fone call? Why is it that u r filled with 1 million joules of energy wen that name flashes on the cell phone screen? Why is it that with every ring, u hope its him,with every msg u hope its his? Why is it that if the call or msg wasnt his ,u lose 2 million joules of energy?? Why is it that one HI and BYE is more important than another 10 million HI's n BYE's? Why is it that he always forgets to call u n u call him?Why is that when u finally go to "tell" him,he asks you how girls like to be "asked" and u r on top of the world"? Why is it that after this u wait for the "question" but you just dont get to "answer" it? Why is that when again u decide to ask the "question" yourself to him, you find him saying "Do u feel the way i do for u?" and you reach cloud nine? Why is that you go numb answering this "question" although you have rehersed the "answer" like an Ocsar speech?Why is it that you finally manage to open you mouth to "answer" and u come to know that this "question" has to be "answered" by someone else? Why is it that he "asks" you but wants the "answer" from someone else? Why is it that he asks u if SHE will give the "answer" that he wants? Why is it that SHE gives the "answer" to his "question" the way he wanted? Why is it that he asks u to come and meet her? Why is it that you go with your best friend and squeeze her hand till she shouts in pain when u see THEM holding hands? Why is it that he colud never see the pain,the tears,the feelings,the undying love that u had for him? Why is it that, he-the one who could once read your eyes,could hear you when u were silent can't see ur eyes shouting? Why is it that he takes this "silence" as your approval of HER? Why is it u have such a big heart that u can see HIM with HER n being happy about THEM? Why is it u r genuinely happy for THEM n not just pretending like what ur friends feel u r doing?Why is it that he goes on and on takling about HER? Why is it that he doesnt realize your eyes drifting away from his when he talks about "HER"?Why is it that he cant make out your fake smile when he talks about HER? Why is it that he "asks" you if he should start talking to her and apologize ot HER if THEY have fought? Why is it that u hav such a big heart and always get THEM together......immaterial of the heartache u go through?? Why is it that he, years later wants u to be HER maid of honour? Why is it that he names his first kid on you? Why is it that u then realize that he always wanted to ASK YOU that QUESTION but did not.....fearing that he would lose you if you didnt "answer" him the way he wanted!! Why is it that this was why your opinion always mattered to him? Why is it that YOU could never read HIS eyes? Why is it that some relations get so complicated and they then cease to have a name??Why is it that both of you realize this when its too late......and u r with ur husband and he with HER ......and u still wonder "IT COULD HAVE BEEN US!!!!!"Why is it that there is no Z after this Y.................... wish there was something after every WHY. Wish there was someONE after every WHY.

In the loving memory of my fourth anniversary of futility!!!

I had posted this earlier... but felt like posting again, so posted again(Ah! The advantages of having your own blog!!) And, yeah.. it's not inspired from Kuch Kuch Hota Hain!