July 31, 2008
July 29, 2008
Celly (a male, Girlie’s cell phone) was hitting Pody (Girlie’s iPod, male) with his elbows in order to get some room in the filled upto the limit handbag. Celly was the quintessential gentleman whereas posy was snobbish and an arrogant boy. Both of them hated each other as they were in love with the same girl…. Lippie… (Girlie’s lip gloss)
Celly: Move it, you fatty!
Pody: WTF?? You’re 3 cm fatter than I am!
Celly: Yeah, whatever at least I don’t have wires coming out of me!!
Pody: Blah blah blah…. Heard you went on a dinner date with Memo (Memory Card, male)?? Turning gay?
Celly: Shut up…. Had gone to him for advice...
Pody: Advice…. Hmm... Regarding??
Celly: It’s personal, if you don’t mind.
Pody: You bloody, stiff upper lipped moron… go rot in hell!
Combie: (Girlie’s comb, female) Hey you guys, stop abusing!! Show some decency, at least when around women… haven’t you seen we girls talking??
Pody: Girls…. Who???
Combie: Rude, you insensitive boy!
Pody: You’re not a girl…. You’re a woman, Aunt Combie!!! Haha!!
Combie: Aunt Combie!!! *fainting in the background*
Chewie: (Lippie’s best friend, Chewing Gum, female) *sobbing* Boys will be boys…. Insensitive jerks!!
Celly: *panicking looking at a crying girl* What’s the matter, Chewie??
Pody: Waah!! Chance pe dance!! Offering a shoulder to a crying girl and all huh??
Celly: Cut the crap, Pody! Chewie… what happened?
Celly & Pody: What happened to Lippie??
Chewie: She broke off with Peny…. He dumped her for her step sis, Lakmey…
*Celly and Posy broke into a victory dance and started hugging and clapping and thanking their stars that Lippie was single again! But Chewie was disgusted by their behaviour and hence chided them and left*
Chewie: Boys will be boys…. Insensitive jerks!
Pody: Hey, Chewie… you’ve been saying the same line since the New Stone Age, please modify it now!!
Celly: Hey bro… you’re gonna get yourself a brand new sis-in-law!!
Pody: Wow! You marrying Aunt Combie…. That’s great… you guys can share your dentures with each other!! Call me for the wedding bro!!
Celly: Shut up, you jackass…. I'm marrying Lippie…
Pody: Stay away from her… she’s mine….
Celly: No …. She’s mine…
*Pody got angry, he always had been a very short tempered guy and grabbed Celly’
collar and started punching him. Celly too did the same. Their fight intensified only when
the Bag Elders, Calci (Calculator) and Wally (Wallet) came in to pacify them.*
Calci: Ok, fine… I have one solution to end this fight… both of you shall get 2 minutes to say why Lippie should be with you and then we’ll judge and the one who’s worth her, will get her. Wally and I will personally talk to Mabby and Mac… Lippie’s parents.
Celly & Pody: Fair enough.
Pody: As I'm younger, I’ll start first. I really love Lippie … from the bottom of my chips… I promise, I’ll keep her very happy… her every wish shall be my command…I’ll serenade her by singing romantic love songs and will completely disown sad song from my playlists. We will watch movies together, only family movies….I promise. She can also see her pics with her friends on me…. I’ll really….
Calci: Time’s up…. Celly…
Celly: I fell in love with Lippie first… I truly love her… I’ll also sing songs for her…. Not only her... but also her entire family, as I have speakers too, not just earphones. She can click and view pics with her friends on me… She can also talk to Chewie or her family through me… something she can’t do with Pody… I end my case by saying that I love Lippie and will always do. Thank You.
Pody: I can punch people if they mess up with her…. Your gentlemangiri won’t let you do that!
Wally: Pody… One more word from you and you shall be disqualified
Calci: After listening to both of them, I’ve calculated that Celly wins….
Wally: I beg to differ… I think that Pody was better…..
Chewie: Why don’t we go to Aunt Mabby and Uncle Mac and ask them to pick one?
Wally: Good idea.
Mabby: Oh! I really like both of you… Pody and Celly…. But the issue is that Lippie has already found a guy for herself and we’ve given them our consent… and moreover, aren’t both of you going to shift tomorrow??
Mac: To Cutie’s Bag (Girlie’s Sis)
Mac: Because, iPhoney is coming here tomorrow… he’s Lippie’s new boyfriend….He’s got the bet of features from both Celly and Pody…. So we said yes… he’ll love Lippie as much as both of you do together… Sorry boys… but don’t you worry… there’s someone made for you too….!!!
July 26, 2008
July 24, 2008
- I gave it instead of my license to the Pandu at the signal, by mistake of course!
- I used the patta of the card to keep control of my dog… but he ran away with the neighbour’s bitch (dog ki striling wali bitch baba!!) so my ID also … you know..
- The theatre doorman confiscated it as I shot Ranbir Kapoor’s “towel” scene on my phone…(the doorman definitely worked for Mithibai before joining Fame… that explains the confiscation of ID on every trivial matter!)
- I used the patta of the ID to kill myself (didn’t want to spend money on buying a rope) and ever since, it lying on my fan
- It is lying in the “WANTED” section of the girl’s hostel (for boys)
- I gave it to my girl/boyfriend as she/he didn’t have a photo of mine
- My friends and I were playing Frisbee with it and got thrown out of the window of my 6th floor classroom.
- My ex flushed it down the toilet to get rid of my memories (yeah, my ex is a die hard Jab We Met fan)
- I was sitting on the bank of the nullah and used my ID to create ripples in the water(??)
- I gave it to a plastic surgeon to use my photo on the ID as a reference ( his clientele boasts of people like Rakhi Sawant, Pooja Bedi …. And so on)
- I give it to a face reader to predict my future based on the photo on the ID
- I gave it away as a visiting card
- My uncle borrowed it to scratch his back
- I gave it to my Dad so that he can remember for sure which class I’m studying in.
- My mom gave it to the raddiwala as she had lost all hopes of me going to college!
- My younger sibling used my ID as a rectangular stencil
- I shoved my ID up on my friend’s mouth to shut her up.
- I threw my ID thinking it was the Library card as I never ever in the 5 years of my college life used the Library and this year too I wasn’t going in for an aberration.
- The Librarian took it to display it in the Library Hall Of Shame
- I got lost in the pothole I was trying to prevent myself from drowning in.
- I forgot it in the ATM Machine (I’m still wondering why any money didn’t come out??!!)
- I was playing “Tommy Catch” with my dog using my ID and it got lost in the bushes
- It got confiscated when I tried to enter another college with my ID of this college
- I used my fee receipt as toilet paper in the morning(It was an EMERGENCY… I had to report for a 7 o clock lecture!!)
(Asking the Watchman) Don’t you remember confiscating it last week for giving absurd excuses for not carrying the ID… shit man! Your memory sucks!!
The best excuse would undoubtedly be : Here is my ID… Haha!!! I was just trying to humour you.( if the watchman shoots you, the author won’t be held responsible…. According to the disclaimer)
July 21, 2008
July 18, 2008
Ah...CAT puts me to depression... lets talk about something else.... So am back to my old self.... after soooooooooo many days... confessed stuff, got people back, ensured them for forever( I know forever is too big a word....but a tad smaller than IF!) but then some relations are worth maintaining for life na..... (Like we would want it otherwise). Gosh.... I'm getting a proof everyday why tears are as important for your health as much is laughter.... One feels so light after the river that flows from the lacrimal glands.... especially when you have a really comforting shoulder!! Wink wink!!
EGREGIOUS has become my favourite word of late.... more so after the vocab teacher at my classes rubbished my definition of it, even when it was right and made it a subject of ridicule.... EGREGIOUS= OUTSTANDINGLY BAD!!! Guess I was the only one in class who knew! Coming to egregious, one thing that comes to my mind when I think of this word is Vidya Balan's styling in Kismet Connection!! She looked like Shahid's aunty!!! Yeah, its one more movie that I saw second day first show(review later). God save the CAT!!
I'm bored...... so much to do, so little time, yet here I am typing away shit! Gosh! I really really need a life........ BADLY! And yeah I got my driving license....... without giving the test....... so I can drive now (I promise I'll drive better than Ankita.... I promise my car will never be airborne for more than 5 secs.... I promise I'll never speed while taking a turn.... I promise I'll never overtake a police van.... I promise I'll not thoko poor cyclists on the road... well..... in short I WILL NEVER drive like Ankita.... I promise!!) All you women driver haters watch out!! Jay, one day you will be forced to give me a certificate that states "Women may be bad drivers....but Nupur drives really really really really well!!" So much for optimism!!
July 9, 2008
July 7, 2008
July 6, 2008
jaane na woh hain ki ya nahi,
jahaan meri zindagi mujhse
itni khafa nahi!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm just in love with these lines! I know, I know, I deperately need to be admitted in the Jaane Tu.. rehab centre.... I'm literally eating, drinking, sleeping this movie! Actually only sleeping this movie.... eating and drinking ...... I've not learnt doing these things!! Yeah so as to not lose out on my readers I will not make them brook Jaane Tu..... any further!
It was another Sunday... meaning another AIMCAT and another set of shitty marks! 'm not expecting anything good from this AIMCAT as well...!! But what makes this Sunday special is I got Aanch back... yup... we (I, to be more precise) had been behaving wierd since a fortnight and now things came back to Square One(read:normal). The best thing God blessed girls with is the innate ability to cry! Man! The endorphin rush after the tears is anyday better than an Adrenaline rush! Feels light! I felt proud in a way that Aanchal, pessimist to a level(was), was speaking like me.... an eternal optimist.... you sounded like a hybrid of Nupur and Hetvi, Aanch!
Another thing, "signs" rather that I encountered today were 1) The RC passage on "HAPPINESS".... it was one of the few passages that I understood thoroughly and got 80% accuracy in.... it felt like the essence of the passage: happiness is an innate thing... it is inbuilt, yet we keep looking for it because our minds are in a conflict... turbulent... tumultous.... 2) the daily horoscope on Orkut said: Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you.... Seemed like bagal main chora gaav main dhindhora!! It felt like these things were just God's way of communicating with me!(I really need rehab now!!) I'm out of the drum labelled "DOLDRUM"... pardon me for the poor quality of jokes!
I'm so touched these days with the way my 2 best friends.. Rads and Aanch have been describing me... Aanch says : Nupur is a person who loves talking,blogging, telling stories(about herself and others...Gossip Queen, you see!), swapping channels at light speed and is always stuck in the chasm between IF and WHY..... how true!! And Rads replied to my "I'm a tough cookie, Rads"... she said, "Yeah a completely baked one!" ....!! You guys really know me man!! And yeah I'm so happy Mansh finally spoke her crush herself.... it was quite a task pretending to be Mansh and speak to him!! Very Mujhse-Dosti-Karogeish!!
Finally succeeded in my pursuit of happiness!!
July 5, 2008
Yipee!!! I've finally managed to see this movie!! My scrupules didn't grant me the permission to bunk pracs so couldn't go for the First Day First Show. Thank God for some inane seminar on Saturday, we got a day off and off I went along with Manshi to watch the movie Second Day First Show! Manshi was the only person of the 140 (added 3 more people on Orkut last week!!) to have the foresight that this movie would be good!! Sorry Mansh... had to ask you to come to Suncity on a holiday!
Yeah coming down to the movie's review.... they movie in one word can be described as REFRESHING.... it was a cliched storyline woven in such a brilliant way that it didn't seem banal at all. From the first frame to the trite airport climax.... everything was fresh.... just like the morning dew. The opening credits looked like a canvas painted... novel idea. Xavier's has never looked so enthralling... Pooja, you were right, I fell in love with Xavier's! The dialogues, the screenplay, the so loveable climax everything was perfect!
Check out the following scenes:
1. When Jay saves Meghna in the nightclub
2. When the guitar first strummed at the beginnning of Aditi song.... it got the most whistles!!
3. When Jay tells the inspector: Dubaara bolke dikha
4. When Jay yells at Meghna that the scooter was just a scooter and nothing else!
5. When Meghna tells Jay that this time her hand was waved to say goodbye..(Ah!Touching!)
6. When Amit shows Aditi his room and paintings! (What paintings!!Showed loneliness so effectively)
7. When Jay's mom says: Phone pe beta, phone pe... when Aditi wondered where her college years went by
8. When Aditi says: Sometimes running away seems the only thing you feel like doing.... Ouch.... so true!!
9. The Expression on Aditi's face when Jay was at Meghna's on her birthday
10. When Amit and Jay play Mommy and Daddy to the pet rat
11. The Mowgli, Ballu, Bagheera moment in Jail
12. When Jay hikes a ride on a horse(I actually shot a video of this scene!)
13. When Jay punches Aditi's fiance thrice (Felt like someone avenged an insult for me... Wish it was his namesake...)
15. When Jay sings Jaane tu... Jaane na at the airport....... the best proposal I've seen in quite some time!!!!
It seems ke I've told you the entire movie! Just that nobody comes to hit me, I've warned everyone with the disclaimer on top! The audience was getting hysterical with every ensuing scene and there were whistles and claps every second scene. I, too, for the only time in life clapped and jumped on my seat(at the horseriding scene!). I liked the movie because it was young, refreshing, peppy and entertaining, not everyone may share the same views. I also liked the movie because Aditi is exactly like me... she can't dance, she has curly hair, she is a fighter cock(Ah! used this term for the first time after passing out from school!), she wants a guy who can hit and punch,she went to US running away from people and situations, she too never realised when she fell in love.... if only real lives got inspired by reel lives, for a change!! Each and every frame of the movie was eeringly similar to my life, damn it!! No wonder Mansh asked me why I went quiet in some scenes and why my eyes were moist!! Damn methinks I should sue them for copyrights or atleast ask them to replace Aditi's name with Nupur!!!!
P.S: The only irritating factor was the way Meghna pronounced Jay.... she said saomething like Jaeee