April 24, 2009

GM People & Things

Now that I broke my back over studying Genetically Modified (GM) stuff, I was wondering how life would be if there were a lot of things that were GM..... apart from GM mice and GM sheep, which I see no use of (to me, at least!). So I'd like to enlist a couple of GM things that would make this world a better place...

*Statutory warning : This post is a result of a serious exam hangover after writing Paper 3 and the scare of writing paper 4!

GM Parents: They are modified not to freak out looking at their kids' phone bills (esp if their kid talks A LOT and if Vodafone doesn't really belong to them!)

GM Siblings: They are modified to do all your work without cribbing, without whining, without hitting you, without complaining to Mommy... basically they are like your genie!! (If you find my next post from a hospital bed, I assume you to be smart enough to be able to guess what must've happened to me!)
GM Best Friends: They're modified not to like the guy you like!!

GM Boy/Girl friends: They're modified to not whack and churn your brains to the limit that the gray matter and the neurons form a jelly like curd and the cerebro spinal fluid separates like whey! (Yeah, you guessed it right, this idea struck me when I was studying Cheese making.... Camemberti, to be precise!)

GM Crush: They're modified to like you back!!!

GM Relatives: They're modified not to tell you how much you've grown up... if you're done with your studies, so that they can have one more wedding to hog in!

GM Teachers: They are modified such that they don't put you to sleep (quite a task this one's gonna be) and they don't complicate stuff and teach it!!

GM Husbands: They're a genetic combination in such a way that they have Dhoni's calm, Brett Lee's hair, John Abraham's abs, SRK's wit and sarcasm, Hrithik's eyes, Irfan's smile, Abhishek's height, should sing like Bryan Adams, dance like Ranbir... and most importantly... should be a Gujju!!! (The last condition is to keep you out, Aanch!)

GM Blogging: It blogs a thought the minute it comes to your mind... no need to type, no need to proof read... no need to run a spell check... after all thoughts are above all such mortal things..!
GM Remote: It changes a channel the minute you think about changing a channel... you hurt your poor finger by incessantly pressing keys?
GM Eyes during exams: They're like Viki's (the robot from Small Wonder) eyes.... you just need to flip all the pages of a book to read it!
GM Question Papers: They're modified to mutate quickly and mutate according to the needs of the student reading the question paper! ( I so needed this for paper 4!)

GM Pen: (If Russell doesn't turn in his grave reading this one, then I'll stop blogging!!) A GM Pen works by overwriting the question on the question paper. This overwriting acts as a primer and this primer replicates the answer to the question in the answer paper. However this comes with an assumption that the student has at least made his/her notes so that the answers are in the pen can recognise the primer and replicate accordingly! (For non-biotech people, please don't start self mutilating yourself if you didn't get this one... it was kinda technical... for more information you can refer Genetics by Peter Russell lovingly known as "The Russell"! For biotech people, this is what random priming did to me.... please don't kill me... 2 people have already hung up on me listening to this idea of mine!)

April 21, 2009

I'm Back Again!

I just simply refuse to believe this!!! Aanchal posted a blog post before I did.... and I'm supposed to be the 'blogger' of the group. Yeah OK, I admit I was plain lazy to sit in fronta my lappy(my laptop's pet name)and waste the day typing. Yeah, I feel lazy to even blog! I guess there should be a new invention.... -mindblogger.... this device blogs a thought the minute your neurons come up with it... you don't need to type... no need to spell check... thoughts don't have spellings!!! Hehaw!! I'm already pestering my engineer sis to do something like this... but everytime she plain refuses saying that "Engineers are engineers.... not servants of sloths like you!" Lazy... well.... this is one thing wherein I can beat anyone. Anyone...I'm sure my parents and Aanchal will agree!

Leave laziness... what I can't believe is that my EXAMS are over!! I'm sure my friends will agree. Imagine starting  studying for your board exams just a month before your exam. Engineers, please don't say that you do that all the time... you study just one sem... we did two sems in a month... and we had just a day off before the paper!! I measured ...the height of my notes was 2 feet!!!! Studying that in a month.... studying pathways with the name of a compound being Undecaprenyl pyrophosphate UDP-N-acetly muramyl acid with B(4-1) linkage-N-acetly glucosamine with pentaglycine ring. Yeah, that's just ONE compound in a pathway of 18 steps... and the worst part is that the question paper doesn't even feature this question after you've spent 3 hours doing just one subtopic of a chapter...with 3 chapters in a unit... 4 units in a paper...6 papers...and only one holiday for the paper... we need a honorary prize for atleast finishing off the portion!!! It was a miracle how our asses got saved.... the miracle will remain one only till the results are out.... which are definitely not gonna paint a happy picture! There were days when I thought I wouldn't even as much as pass... but now I reckon, I'll pass(except paper1) and finally my Dad will look for a new pet name for me and not call me by the old one - Center Fresh because of that Jubaan-pe-lagaam-lagaata-hain-haathon-pe-nahi ad! (Sorry, tried to upload the video, but its not getting done... I wasn't lazy... not this time!) 

Huh! Exams had taken a toll on my TV watching sensibilities.... not that they were great before the exams.... watching stupid soaps has always been a guilty pleasure! I know, I have a tremendous patience for nonsense... the upper limit is 4 years!! So had started watching

Ok... I'm bored now... I wanna watch the remaining 4 episodes of 90210.... and laze around a bit more... ! Urgghhh... vacations are getting boring.... guess I'll start studying for the October wala Paper 1 exam...! I can see a red line in my future... BTW my lost hatred for maths is back.... with a 16 marks bang.... bloody I HATE maths... Biostats.... why couldn't you ask chi square... why did you ask T-test?!??

P.S:  Be prepared for a full on bombardment of posts from now!
Kitani Mohabbat hain.... because the love story had started... and also because the girl in the show is really pretty (there's a serious dearth of hot guys around... this is the first time I'm mentioning that a girl is pretty on my blog!! I needed rehab from love... but not like this!!!) and the guy... well, he's so expressionless that my pen gives more expressions of shock and awe on looking at the question paper and the corresponding answers I make it write!! (more shock than awe!). So, Aanchal, heave a sigh of relief, I stopped watching the show....finally! The love story has gone kaput and so has my interest... so am back to watching 90210... saw 7 episodes in one day!! Again, in this show the dame is pretty...!! (freak!! I need REHAB!!!)
I dunno why, but I, a die hard IPL fan.... am feeling that IPL is really boring this year. Partly because maybe of the 3 people for whom I supported Mohali, 2 are not there this time... and secondly, somehow, I feel that the fizz out of Aanchal and my Chennai-Mohali wars has fizzled out... I don't feel like fighting anymore! Aanch, we need to start fighting man...!

I'm thinking of writing a new story.... a love story, as usual...I'm a sucker for love stories...(why do you think I saw KMH.... I can even watch Uday Chopra romance Rakhi Sawant..... guess he should participate in her
swayamvar.....she can then become a YRF heroine..and we'll get to see the couple romancing in the Alps... gosh... the thought is eerie!!)!! Will open a new blog for that.... but then I might jettison the plan if I feel too lazy.... It's time some 'good' inventions take place! Sloth...it's gonna take me down!