April 24, 2009

GM People & Things

Now that I broke my back over studying Genetically Modified (GM) stuff, I was wondering how life would be if there were a lot of things that were GM..... apart from GM mice and GM sheep, which I see no use of (to me, at least!). So I'd like to enlist a couple of GM things that would make this world a better place...

*Statutory warning : This post is a result of a serious exam hangover after writing Paper 3 and the scare of writing paper 4!


GM Parents: They are modified not to freak out looking at their kids' phone bills (esp if their kid talks A LOT and if Vodafone doesn't really belong to them!)

GM Siblings: They are modified to do all your work without cribbing, without whining, without hitting you, without complaining to Mommy... basically they are like your genie!! (If you find my next post from a hospital bed, I assume you to be smart enough to be able to guess what must've happened to me!)
GM Best Friends: They're modified not to like the guy you like!!

GM Boy/Girl friends: They're modified to not whack and churn your brains to the limit that the gray matter and the neurons form a jelly like curd and the cerebro spinal fluid separates like whey! (Yeah, you guessed it right, this idea struck me when I was studying Cheese making.... Camemberti, to be precise!)

GM Crush: They're modified to like you back!!!

GM Relatives: They're modified not to tell you how much you've grown up... if you're done with your studies, so that they can have one more wedding to hog in!

GM Teachers: They are modified such that they don't put you to sleep (quite a task this one's gonna be) and they don't complicate stuff and teach it!!

GM Husbands: They're a genetic combination in such a way that they have Dhoni's calm, Brett Lee's hair, John Abraham's abs, SRK's wit and sarcasm, Hrithik's eyes, Irfan's smile, Abhishek's height, should sing like Bryan Adams, dance like Ranbir... and most importantly... should be a Gujju!!! (The last condition is to keep you out, Aanch!)

GM Blogging: It blogs a thought the minute it comes to your mind... no need to type, no need to proof read... no need to run a spell check... after all thoughts are above all such mortal things..!
GM Remote: It changes a channel the minute you think about changing a channel... you hurt your poor finger by incessantly pressing keys?
GM Eyes during exams: They're like Viki's (the robot from Small Wonder) eyes.... you just need to flip all the pages of a book to read it!
GM Question Papers: They're modified to mutate quickly and mutate according to the needs of the student reading the question paper! ( I so needed this for paper 4!)

GM Pen: (If Russell doesn't turn in his grave reading this one, then I'll stop blogging!!) A GM Pen works by overwriting the question on the question paper. This overwriting acts as a primer and this primer replicates the answer to the question in the answer paper. However this comes with an assumption that the student has at least made his/her notes so that the answers are in the pen can recognise the primer and replicate accordingly! (For non-biotech people, please don't start self mutilating yourself if you didn't get this one... it was kinda technical... for more information you can refer Genetics by Peter Russell lovingly known as "The Russell"! For biotech people, this is what random priming did to me.... please don't kill me... 2 people have already hung up on me listening to this idea of mine!)

30 comments:

Aanchal said...

YEAH...IM HERE TO BREAK THE VIRGINITY OF THIS BLOGPOSTS COMMENT SECTION AS WELLL....SWELL JOB THS ONE...HS TO BE ONE OF URE BEST WRKS TILL DATE!!!!!!

Nupur said...

@Aanch: I wanted to give a cheeky repartee but then i dont want to scare off my other readers!!

BTW, keep off the GM Hubby!!

Chronicwriter said...

they are modified to like your back?

chriz

Nupur said...

@ Chriz: Err... They who??

pooja said...

hehe.....really gud 1......

AJ said...

thats brilliant..

gm dk would back answer sk

gm shubdha will stop talkin bout her son for a change...

fab creativity!

Nupur said...

@ Pooja: Thanks!!!

Nupur said...

@ Aj: GM dk!!! lmao!!!

Pavitra .... said...

hehe.....good one...!
especially the GM pen...!
Gurl! you really have to give yourself a break....
i wonder what paper 4 will do to you though...
anymore exam syndromes to come?

Nupur said...

@ Pavitra: Are you from biotech? Otherwise, you must b a genius to get the GM pen... paper 4 is over...so are my exams!!

shruti said...

hey really humorous!! u cud hav even added GM kids, n GM mother-in-law! wat say?? hehe

Nupur said...

@ Shruti :Arey meri shaadi planning ends with a GM hubby as of now... GM kids n GM saas baad main dekh lenge!!

Ashish said...

then I guess the world woulg be called GM planet and species "GM Nupur"

arshat.chaudhary said...

"should be a Gujju!!! (The last condition is to keep you out, Aanch!)
"
hahahahhaa... man! u girls love each other!

As far as the primer thing is concerned I have a girlfriend whos doing biotech stuff, shes given me enuf gyaan on primers and stuff.. arent primers which come frm tht basillus, aquaticus something? What? Dont look at me like that, I am bad at bio..

Nupur said...

@ashish: I won't mind!! Yeh acha plan hain!!

Nupur said...

@ Arshat: Yeah... we do love each other... (in a completely non-gay manner!!)

Well, Thermus aquaticus is a bacillus which yields an enzyme required for the action of the primer to replicate and amplify the DNA strand... phew!!

vinod said...

Just hit upon ur blog.... Loved it.... especially the one on marriages :)

Nupur said...

@ Vinod: Glad you liked it here!!

vinod said...

i guess u have some sort of a group which blogs really well... one leading to another.... very nice.. :)

Nupur said...

@Vinod: I don't have a blog group per se.. but where did you come from... or where did you go from here??

vinod said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vinod said...

ummm... i dont remember where i came from to your blog.... perhaps indian bloggers on orkut.... i went to a blog named miles to go before i sleep.. then one called parvati... the quintessential outsider... i actually meant i found these links on your blog :)

Nupur said...

@ Vinod: Oh yeah... the first two bloggers are my friend... and the latter's link I found from another blog..!

Vinod said...

oh nice... creative group :)

ankit said...

this is da best 1 till date in da humuor genre.....it even beats ur dostana spoof!!!!!!!!!

da camembert cheese n GM pen was da best of da lot!!!!!
Dr. Peter J. Russel will definately applaud ur creativity 4 da GM pen.....

if i may(suiting to ajay, mansi n my situatn)add dat GM pen shd write in "da most beautiful" handwriting ever!!!!!!lolz!!

Nupur said...

@ Ankit: I knew you would like it... thats why i asked you if you read it..!!

Yeah sure, dude, you're the onle who's gonna be making the pen... so add a few more extra guun!!

manalee said...

your the sweetest blogger of my lifetime...



P.S:i m posting this scrap at precisely...12.42 A.M 4th may 2009 after switiching off my computer at 11.30...hence I so mean this post...

Sharad Sharma said...

haha.. nice nice.. exhaustive mutation study there

you went on mutating(if that's a word) humans to technology,as you went from the start to the end of post

enjoyed it thoroughly :)

Oh and keep Irfan as motivated as he was in today's match... that reminds of a question.. how do you like the other Pathan ? :P

Cheers,
Sharad
Medley

Nupur said...

@ Sharad: Well, this was a result of constant mutation studies for a month!!!

Yeah I do like the other Pathan... but I like him strictly for his cricket!!!

talha said...

hey hie...nupur OK this is the first time i am reading any blog and leaving an comment on it...i liked it a lot an also thinking of writing something he-he..but the way there is one more thing which can be GM ...GM BOSS just tell him how much salary u want..he will pay it yahoooo...