April 10, 2011

Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus - Part II

Modesty be damned, but I'm seldom wrong when I make an argument. It's Libran trait to participate in arguments and win them! In one of my earlier posts, I had written than men are equally complicated as women. But now, I correct myself - Women are more complicated. Period. Men are not. Men are pretty simple. All they want in life is sex, food, sports and beer and they're sorted. Unlike women! Let's talk about one thing at a time, so let’s deal with why men are so simple in life. I can imagine all my female readers reading the next few lines, making a mental note on what they'll say to disagree with me. But, don't try it ladies! Read the first line of the post again!

For my women readers, who say men are complicated, watch the movie He's Just Not That Into You. You'll get amazing insights on men! I'll mention this one thing that I've been a victim of and finally did a Qualitative Research on a few men to know what exactly the problem was!!!! (The sample size was very small!!!)

·       We complain that the guys we like don't message or call us. Or don't reply. The thing is that they're just not interested in looking at us in 'that' way. If they did, they wouldn't wait for us to call/text them, they'd initiate it themselves! And when you lose interest in them after a couple of years, they'll bombard you with 30 texts a day...an astonishingly huge number of texts they never cumulatively sent you in the 4 years they were friends with you for! So, the key is that ignore men, they'll come right behind you!

So, now this was something that was what I got right from the horse's mouth. The interesting value addition that I did to it was this: By the roles defined by Nature or Evolution, men were supposed to be hunters. So they love the chase that a kill needs. So they'll be all charged up for the chase, use their heads to make the prey fall and all and once they prey is killed, all they do is bring the carcass home, hand it to the women who'd cook it so that they can eat and then have some sex after the meal! Man has evolved from being a hunter to a civilised person that he is now, but the innate instincts remains the same. They love the chase that lead them to land a girl. Till then, they'll be all sweet, romantic and all that, but once the girl professes her feelings for him, the chase is over. She's just left to be eaten (no double entendres here!!) This is precisely the phase where women feel that the honeymoon part of their relationship has ended and the guy isn’t as sweet as he was earlier! For some, it’s only about the chase (the ‘bad boy’ category as we call them) and for some it’s about the prey as well as the chase (the ‘take-home-to-Mamma’ category). So, men are simple… they all follow the same pattern and it was time we figured what it was!

Coming to women, they are very complicated. They not only have men issues in life, but also have women issues! Two women can seldom stand each other unless they’re related by blood or are BFFs! They either don’t like the vibes they get from other women, their dressing sense, their attitude in life, the list is endless! This is due to a deep rooted insecurity that men don’t stay faithful to one woman and this gives rise to the constant comparison and competitiveness they subject themselves to! The need for wanting a constant one-up (wo)manship. A lot of advertising communication has targeted this competitive nature of women! The uski saadi meri saadi se safed kaise and see the new TVS Wego ad! Seriously, we’re too vain in life!

Also the Ladies Compartment in a train is the best place to see the bitchy side of women! The only problem I have with them is that the mad rush to enter into a train before people alight! Have some patience, ladies! And also, the fights! If there’s ever one, it will go on from Borivli to Churchgate unlike men’s train fights that end with a MC/BC/C!

The following two phenomenon are widely seen in Gujju households. Dunno about others!

One other reason why we have a problem with other women in our mothers! Yes! If you’re a guy, in all probability you were the aakhon ka tara,pyaara dulaara beta who never learnt to sympathise with a woman’s pains because their mothers always shielded them from it. The mothers, even with high fever would cook and feed the family and not lie down on the bed and ask her son to make her a cup of tea. So, this son who was never asked to make a cup of tea for anyone, wouldn’t do so in future and would expect his wife to cook for him and feed him even if she’s in labour! (Ok, the last one was exaggerated to convey the point!). And this story gets worse if this beta had a sister! When I have my girl-friends crib about how irritating their brothers are, I thank my Dad for giving me a sister!

Just so that my future mother-in-law doesn’t come vying for my blood after reading this post, I’ll add that mothers of daughters are no less! From the minute we’re born, we’re subjected to a never-ending, almost auto-dialler like rants of how we won’t have a mother-in-law, but a monster-in-law! And the aunts only add fuel to the fire! Not all women make bad mother-in-law! There might be some good ones!! And I’m hoping this is not wishful thinking!! Maybe our mothers and aunts are talking out of experience, but I suggest, let us learn ourselves. Don’t put in ideas in our heads and let us go into a new home with a bias already fed in our systems! So, my plea to all mothers and mothers-in-law, Love us like you love your daughter and we’ll respect you like we respect our mother. Life is simple. Don’t complicate it!

P.S : I'm not a feminist or anything, it's just that I find this topic of a man-woman thing very interesting! I have not read much on the psychology of their relationship with each other, but I plan do so. Everything was just my observation and/or my take on things. People may agree, people may disagree. I’m game for a debate!

P.S 2 : I love mothers! They’re the only people who would ever sacrifice for you. Love them, respect them. This was just to pull their leg so that they’ll have something to miss once we’re in monster-in-law land!!


arshat.chaudhary said...

Very interesting post Nupur!

However, I think even women like to be chased.. Its just human nature...

So this is the deal - Men chase women, but only the once whom they think are worth it... and once they have them and find them to be unworthy, they get bored. The ones who are really amazing, they hang on to and want to spend all their lives with...

So it really depends on how awesome the girl is more than anything...

Demure_me said...

very true..! especially about the men 'chasing' part..
see.. u are learning about men..eh? ;)
after all the brainstorming I do to your mind about 'damn the men' topic ..finally I am happy with the output :)

Pritam said...
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Pritam said...
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Aayushi Mehta said...

I like this post. Especially the second half, I have noticed that all my life as well.