March 17, 2009

Of Marriages and No Marriages!!

Now one thing a girl can do after 20 and a dozen or more rejections from B-schools or any PG courses that a guy can't do is.... GET MARRIED! Yeah, finally, nature is positively biased towards us girls! No, I haven't been rejected by a dozen B-schools.... itni bhi mand nahi hoon yaar! But, I've had enough of studying! Since that fateful day when I fought with Mom to take Science (Mom, a science double-grad herself begged and begged me to take Commerce...but those were the days when you considered Commerce people as 'lesser mortals' only to switch fields after 5 years !!) I don't really remember having a vacation to myself... except the one in FY....but that was in 2007!! Every vacation, my other friends think of where to go out and holiday... and I think about which new classes to join....every vacation!(This vacation...its Taekwondo.... gotta fight for yourself and stand up for yourself.... don't expect people to do it for you!) So this year, finally after screwing up almost everything....TY...MBA... everything, I decided that the best thing would be to get married! 

P.S:  If my kid (son, if) pick up books....he's gonna have it....he'll have to pick up the bat and sweat it out in the sun....and beat Aanchal's son in getting the jersey no 11!! Aanch, you still game right? You dare name your kid Ayaan!

Its just so frustrating having slogged your ass off to get where you are, still you are nowhere! And this bloody f**king recession has to hit mankind only when you are passing out.... Firstly the wonderful BSc degree, secondly B-schools expect work-ex from you and thirdly on Earth are you gonna have a job?? So in this scenario, the best thing would be to get up and tell your parents...okay, fine... I'm a graduate (hopefully...please God, get me passed..please... or I'll be known as an HSC pass all my life....and my kids will mock at me.... what if someone writes on their hand "Tumhari maa sirf 12vi pass hain"??!) now, I don't really have much to do in find a good, handsome, rich guy and get me married...!! Even they'll dance in joy finally being able to get rid of you!

I've been talking to a lot of people who have developed this get-me-married-off-for-mental-peace thing...and all of them seem to be somehow excited by the institution of marriage! Because they've been to their cousins' weddings and have had a little more than a crush on their jiju's brother/best friend/any random from the baraat....or they're plain frustrated with life... or maybe because they've become so attention starved due to all the attention going to recession/terrorism/elections/Slumdog Millionaire these days that this is the only way to get noticed!! Well, I fall into the second category, if you were wondering!

Ok, fine, jokes apart... I'm not getting married! Neither do I want to... not right now...maybe after 4 years... that's the max time I can get (bloody Gujju systems). I had just gotten acclimatised with the wonderful I'll-too-get-married-one-day feelings and bang... new twist in tale.... again, I've gone back to my -urrghhhh-I-don't - wanna get married stance! First reason was that I saw the episode of Balika Vadhu where Sugna's husband comes a dead body for her wedding and she's totally distraught by it. Man! I don't really watch these soaps.. but was watching it because I was feeling too lazy to change the channel (hey, all you engineers, can't you invent a remote where channels change the moment we think about changing the channel in our head??)and I must say, I had tears in my eyes in that one was really sad. And I also told one of my friends..what if my husband dies like this?? Yeah...I got a lot of Stop-watching-soaps lectures for this dialogue of mine!! But trust me the thought of it is creepy...! I mean, all your life, you wait for that one person...that one comes to you...but DEAD! Gosh! 
I know, I seriously need rehab!

The second reason was Arshat's blogpost... on daughters getting married! I mean not fair yaar!!! You made me change my mind about getting married....ever!!

Another reason you don't feel like getting married is because you've come face to face with the worst characteristics of guys.... their huge... Petrona's Tower sized EGO! I mean WTF! Done nothing worthwhile in life...but have ego like you're Obama! But good, you learn things before it's too late.... Sometimes even 10 minutes is too much to ask much for EGO...I say.... go f**k your ego... it'll be good for you! Again, Arshat had said in one of his posts... Like every other guy...he blamed her...and like every girl in love...she took all the blame...! So true!! Girls have a tremendous limit to endure things...but why do guys stretch it to the limit...and then after 6 months, come begging for forgiveness?!? Have they never taken Shakespeare seriously.... Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned? Guess, now they should.

Anyways, I got a very good observation from a friend, who too, like me wants/wanted to get married asap! .... Girls make such a fuss about leaving their homes and getting married to a guy... think about the guy...having to take such a huge responsibility of a whole an age...where they're not even responsible for their towel!! LMAO! Aanch, how does it feel finally having me using your creations?!??

Ah! So after 30 mins of mindless typing, I realize I've written anything but coherent, sensible don't really read unless you're jobless and have nothing to do(in that case...can you please finish off making chits for me to take to the exam hall?) or are plain frustrated having antigens and antibodies/drosophila/restriction endonucleases/genetics ruling your life, read on!. If you've read it, have a heart and comment!

P.S:  I'm NOT getting married before I'm 24....that's a cool 4 years from now.

P.S 2:  Listen to Aankhon hi Aankhon from the movie EMI. Mohit Chauhan has never been better!!
Bas Yeh Tamanna Hai Dil Jo Apna Hai, Usko Mil Jao Tum .... 
Ab Na Khayalon Mein, Na Sawalon Mein, Bas Baahon Mein Aao Tum.." 

P.S 3: Some problems, seriously, don't end with speculated...they only get

P.S 4: Aanchal... last warning....stop falling in love with the guys I like..!! Kisiko toh mere liye chod...! Leave RK, IK and all others right now!

P.S 5: watch this movie: P.S. I Love You.... it's a nice movie..! And also Top Gun... Tom Cruise... 22 years back... that too in an unifrom..!! Couldn't get hotter!

P.S 6: Just wanted to match Delhi-6... !! Sorry...lame effort at cracking a joke!

March 10, 2009

What They Say.... And What They Mean....

This is my 100th post!! Yay!! And on the 24th of this month, it'll be my bloggy's happy wala birthday!! yaay!! I'm happy! Finally some reason to be happy after a real long time! Now, happiness reminds me of how I got the best gift any woman could get on Women's Day.... Ranbir and Imran hosting the Filmfare show...!!I mean life couldn't get better you know!! I was so damned confused about whom to look at. But then, Ranbir, was definitely the scene stealer of the two... a complete charmer! Why on Earth is he with Deepika?? Guess, love, seriously is blind. Like someone needed to tell that to me! But, on second thoughts, they were not even close to being rib tickling funny.... SRK-Saif were waaaaaaaaaayyyy better. But then they have 20 years of experience, and no one... and I seriously mean no one has the wicked sarcasm combined with ready wit like SRK in the industry...that guy is just awesome! Now, SRK reminds me of Gauri Khan... and she reminds me that Aanchal feels that I look like Gauri Khan....same high cheekbones!!! Yay! But the only problem is that I don't have someone like SRK behind me.... and definitely no one to change cities for me! But then none the less, I'm happy...yeah right, Aanchal...after a long time.... one month 9 days!!

Ok, so on this auspicious occasion of my 100th post, I've tried to figure out what they say...and what they mean... Arrey... what She says and what She means.... and what He says and what He means... they, by no means mean what they say!!

She:        What day is today??
He:         *clueless* Umm...err... I ...err..
She:        It's our first-time-held-hands anniversary..... how could you forget it?
He:         Was I seriously supposed to remember that?? What am I...
She:        You forgot.... you don't love me anymore... 

She:         I'm getting bored.... talk to me na....
She:        Switch off that damned TV before I break it..!!

She:         Who's thinner.... my best friend or me... I guess she's put on weight....don't you think?
She:         Out with it.... I know you were checking her out yesterday....

She:         Am I looking fat in this dress??
She:        This question is just a reminder to you that you haven't really said something sweet to me since your team lost last week. 

She:         I hate all men!
She:        PMS. Period. Don't argue further if you love your life.

She:         *Finally*  I know, you don't love me anymore....
She:         Give me a valid explanation why you sent me only 59 I-love-you messages and only 41 calls yesterday..... as opposed to 70 messages and 60 calls the previous week. 
ME:         What?? Was the guy working for Vodafone... or was his last name Ambani??!?!  Wasted loser!!

He:           What's wrong??
She: Nothing.  *Golden silence*
She:          Nothing's RIGHT!!

He:          Brakes!!!!! 
He:      Brakes WITH the clutch.
Me:         Learning driving from a guy..... all the best!

He:          I love you na baby...
He: Can I now watch the match or rather can I now get to control the remote??

He:          No, I didn't find Priyanka Chopra hot in Dostana....
He:          I'm not in a mood to sleep with mosquitoes for company on the couch for blurting out the truth..... BTW, PC wasn't hot.... she was sizzlin' hot!!!
Me:  A guy who doesn't find PC hot in Dostana is definitely gay... come on man... I hate that dame... still she was HOT there!!

He:         I don't mind women drivers...I'm all for gender equality....!
He:        If your girl wants to learn driving.... don't come in her way!!!

She:       Wow! We're getting married!! I' so excited!! I can't wait for my NEW life to start...!!
He:         My freedom... everything's come to an END... E-N-D!! Tears...and beer!!
She:        I'm gonna leave old name and gonna take up yours.... I'm ending one life to begin another... and probably you're thinking that your life has ENDED.....!

It's just how you look at things you know....that makes life so interesting! 

P.S:      It's highly surprising how this post has come from a person who's never had a boyfriend!!! But  then life's about learning from others' mistakes!! *wink wink* !!

P.S 2:   Please put up with the alignment disorder.....I'm trying to straighten it... but to no avail!

March 6, 2009

I'm Gonna Miss These Days.... I'm Gonna Miss My College Days...!!!

* Dedicated to my TYBSc Biotech......oops...Last Year Biotech pals..... (yeah the 'BSc' thing hurts!)

You know, this is human tendency so you can't really blame this one on me.... to want something to get over soon and when it actually does, you wish you could have it a tad longer! It just tantamounts humans are greedy.... greedier than even engineers for that matter! (Don't blame me again, engineers themselves admit that they're the most greedy souls!) Yeah, so what my point was that all through last year I wanted Biotech to get over as soon as possible..... but now when the end has begun, its all freaking me out.... leaving the friends....the college....the class...the lab... and most importantly, leaving Biology..... one thing I know ....err KNEW the best!

My University Practicals are over.... and this is when the realization dawned upon me.... Holy Shit.... this is the last time in the Lab! Now when I think of the last year in the lab, I can't help but just marvel at the guts we had! According to the Safety chapter in my Journal.... eating, drinking and talking in the lab is like blasphemy because of the close proximity to bacteria..... but I don't remember doing anything apart from these in the lab! We never really performed experiments.... even if we did, we screwed up the protocol and the reading were never right.. never means NEVER...! And still our exams rock... its just sheer genius, you know!

The fondest memory of the lab has to the PRIVATE LAB! It was a part of the makeshift lab we were in.... and this was the part of the lab where there were no teachers and only here did the burners work.... so we performed(??) all our experiments here between eating brownies, khakhras etc,gossiping and most important of all, clicking pictures during the practicals with funky looking test tubes(Folin-Wu tubes used for the estimation of glucose in blood.... see, I told you, I had studied for my pracs!) posing like we're having tequilla shots from it.....! This lab, I'll also remember for the cockroaches....! Bloody idiots! Also for the the impromptu plans to Bandra.... sample these conversations....

Nupur:     Freak man.... I've not studied for this transposons ka test yaar
Lucky:     Who has?
Ankita:     The weather is so nice.... I feel like going to Bandstand re...!
All of us looking at her..
Nupur:      Ek test bunk mara toh chalega yaar.... Chalo jaate hain
Hetvi:      No re... test hain re....
Lucky:      Lets get moving.....lets go....!! 
Hetvi:      Ok....fine....lets leave college before I start feeling guilty!!!
Ankita:     Yipee!!

Ankita:     (in the private lab, while staining the slide and eating the last piece of oil-                 free... health concious khakhra.... must be from her dabba only!) Kya pakk          raha hain...
Lucky:       Bhuk lagi hain...
Hetvi:        Aaj bahar khaenge....
Nupur:       Option nahi hain..... saare dabbe daff chuke hain!
Ankita:       Lets go to Rennaissance....
All:             Haha... Jokes...!!! You're funny, Ankita!
Ankita:       What? I have 6 free buffet lunch passes....! And they're expiring today...!
All:             F**k..... Are you serious?!?
Ankita:       Yes...!

 I know, there's nothing great in these conversations...... but they were actually whatever LIFE we had in college.... which actually came after 4 years of home-college-classes-home routine! Wrong time to get a life, I know!

What I'm gonna miss are the people... Ankita, Hetvi, Lucky, Manshi, Fatema, Ajay, Ankit.... and Aanchal(dudette you don't have a choice... you've gotta be with me forever!). This was probably the only place where there was reverse discrimination.... girls exploited, (wo)man handled guys, made them do all the work and they did (except carrying our pink colored bags for us...all other colors were ok!). Hats off to Ankit's tremendous patience.... of clicking over 200 pics a day and still suggesting poses for the 201st(dude.. you'll get a special brownie baked by me....ok ok fine by my Mom...for my saree pics..!!I just love them)! To Ankita's "What-are-you-saying..." expression..... trust me...this is like the most mellifluous music to a gossiper's ears..... complete disbelief and shock from the reciever! Lucky's sarcasms.... reminds me of the person I was 3 years back....the same sarcasms with the same expressions!! Ajay being our "Kala Ramu" and doing all our work... Mansh's partying tales... Fatty's not-even-one-bad-hair-day-or-a-bad-clothes-day... Hetvi's meeting half the city on roads.... and Aanchal's Punjabi.... this multi-lingual group was moulded into one culture....language rather... by her! And yeah, the chole of course!! And my Dad wonders how I started talking Punjabi after going to Mithibai!! Man!! I'm gonna miss this!!

I'm gonna miss freaking out my Mom by telling her the exploits of our lab.... eating while using bacteria...and most often than not...without washing hands....and surprisingly not falling sick!! See, there's a logic to it.... If you put live Salmonella in your stomach....its only gonna get immune to it... and you can eat whatever street food...from wherever you want!! Of not sitting in lectures.... how on Earth am I gonna get my inspiration to write my articles??? Gosh.. I guess I'll go there next year as well..... to get 'inspired' for my articles. My best work has come when I've written articles during a boring lecture....whose topic you come to know only when the topic's over! I remember my Dostana Spoof.... I guess one of my best works....which came in those 48 minutes of a senseless lac operon lecture which was as simple as 2+2=4.... but the teacher made it out to be as complicated as figuring out the way to find a way through a guy's ego!! I'm gonna miss it.... miss it all...!

 Gonna miss you all!! Gonna miss the window sill talk at 2 in Vapi....gonna miss the strength you gave me to take steps I would never take otherwise....gonna miss the "hugging spree" ...hugging as if we're meeting next straight in 2020...gonna miss blowing up money on xerox....some of which you already had...gonna miss the dabbas... whom will I now pass on my share of pasta and cannelonni to?!? But I'll always remember that I don't order for something else now, when pasta is ordered... you guys taught me to eat pasta!!! You made impossible possible!! I know, I've made a lot of people sad by this post....but...I needed to write about the fun we had....had to relive those memories..! Please tell me if you liked the post...!!

P.S:    Listen to the song " I'm gonna miss my College Days" by Gaurav.... its nice! 

P.S 2:  Forgot to mention that I'll miss playing Asshole....the card game Sean taught us with Sean, Lucky and Ratan!!