Of Growing Up .... And Still Not Wanting To Grow Up!

If it weren't for cockroaches, I'd choose to retire in a beach house. 

On our recent trip to Thailand, The Husband and I were talking about where we'd like to build our retirement home. He picked icy mountains and me, the beach. What began as a harmless discussion soon avalanched into a heated discussion of where the retirement house actually would be. There's nothing that spells 3 years of marriage as much as these avalanched arguments do! Very soon there were defenses flying in from both ends, memories being brought alive from previous trips to the mountains and the beaches, each one wanting a desperate one-up against the other and then when all tricks were exhausted, The Husband came up with the last standing nuke in his arsenal - the C bomb!

"There'd be cockroaches all over your beach house, by the way.", he smiled. "It's a tropical country problem", he continued. It was just the morning after we were attacked by a huge cockroach in our hotel room and after scaring me, hid somewhere in the room, not to be found, leaving me to sleep completely covered under the blanket, lest the big brown monster attacked me in my sleep. And this won The Husband the retirement home. 

And I gave him the nastiest stare I could manage. He was right. He knew it and I knew it. He burst out laughing and I conceded to the mountain home, albeit one that overlooks the sea!  Yes, castles of Scotland would be apt, I know. We're open to accepting donations for our retirement home. PayTM accepted happily. Heck, if you really want to donate, I'll even accept the old 500/1000 notes!

It's just funny how some things don't change even when you grow up. 

Just like how I still need to show my ID proof even at 28! There was a time, when I really wished people stopped asking for my ID proof. It was embarrassing enough to be stopped at a casino at 24 when my 16 year old cousins would waltz past me, roaring with laughter. I even thought that there might be a police raid at my wedding and my Dad would have to show my birth certificate to prove the marriage is between legal aged people! Thankfully none of this melodrama happened at the wedding. So, digressions apart, from 24, an age, where one really wants be considered older than what they are, you suddenly cross the invisibly scary Quarter Life Crisis Line of 25 and all hell breaks loose. Till this line, all marketers are making a bee-line to woo you. After crossing this line, its all anti-aging creams and hair color brands promising 100% gray coverage chasing you. Yes, so you're in this why-did-I-grow-up/I-still-want-to-be-18/24 zone and a bouncer outside a pub asks you for your ID proof and you feel 18 all over again! Your happiness will know no bounds. This bouncer would have made your day with just one line - that you still look 18 or younger! So all the anger you had on all the bouncers who'd previously asked you for an ID proof vanishes in a minute and you have new found positive feeling towards them!

As for people who're wondering about the kind of brands behind women nearing 30 and 3 years married, please have a look at the pic below. 

Yes, showing are-you-pregnant/are-you-wanting-to-get-pregnant ads are so passe. Thank you Google, for acting like a nosy relative!

It's all a part of growing up, I guess. But as we're growing up, I feel society's evolving in reverse. No, I'm not referring to the kinds of ads shown to me, I'm over it. I'm referring to chat conversations of today, where words have been so easily replaced with emojis. Especially when The Husband does that, when what you're really expecting is a nice 3 paragraph reply and all you get is a smile smiley. It drives you nuts! I mean come on, how difficult is it to type, we don't even have the press-thrice-for-a-letter Nokia phones anymore! Our ancestors took millions of years to evolve from cave paintings to words and language, and we've so easily evolved back to cave paintings in a conversations via emojis! I think all husbands should definitely stop using them. Immediately. For Evolution's sake, if not their wives. I hardly think Husbands would do it for Evolution too, maybe if they got Dhoni's captaincy back in return, they'd do it! Men, phew!

This was my small bit to humankind and Evolution, this return to blogging. Hoping to seeing you'll more often :)

Let me know what you think!

P.S - sent the link to The Husband for what he thought of the new post. Guess what I got as a reply? Yes, a smiley 😊. There's no hope left for Humankind. Evolution in Reverse has begun!

And The Green Lady Danced!

Sitting with our feet buried ankle deep in the sands of the sequestered Gokarna Beach on the New Year’s Eve, taking in the cold of the sand. Looking at the vast expanse of Arabian Ocean outstretched in front of us, we saw a distant light source in the sea. Anchored in, yet floating on the surface, we assumed, was to light up the sky for the fishermen at sea during the dead of the night. This light source, however, was green in color, and from the distance that we saw it, made the entire horizon have a green band of light.  

“This is what it would be like to see the Northern Lights? The sky completely green against the black night?” said Karan

“I’m sure it would be way more spectacular”, answered Tejal.

“We really wouldn't know how it is until we see it” I chipped in

“It’s better to see it once than hear or wonder about it a thousand times” Himir nonchalantly mentioned.

This was the last day of 2014, when we, four friends sitting on a secluded beach, making plans to see the one of the most amazing natural phenomenon and braving the harshest winters.

And on the last day of 2015, we were standing under the Stockholm sky, bringing in the New Year with a marvellous fireworks display and waiting for the Northern Lights leg of our trip.

Between the two New Year Eves went in months of research, numerous changes to the itinerary, waiting for deals to book, optimizing on the budget and just waiting to go to Norway! And yes, of course, incessantly talking about the impending trip and annoying everyone around us. 

  

In the posts to follow, I’ll write about our entire journey about how we made our itinerary, short-listed places to see, booked our tickets, optimized every stage to save money, even if it was as less as 1 Euro, our experience of actually witnessing the fabulous Aurora show and just relive Norway all over again as I write!

I’ll start off on how to start planning for Northern Lights and Norway!

1. Expensive Norway!

• Scandinavia is expensive. Food, cabs, hotels, public transport.... everything! Even though the exchange rate was about INR 8 for 1 NOK/SEK, everything is priced high. A trip to Scandinavia will burn a deep hole in your pocket.

• If you thought prices cab/rickshaw Mumbai are expensive, wait until you set foot in Norway. About a kilometer in a cab will cost about INR 800. You’ll have an outpouring of love for the Mumbai rickshaws after a trip to Norway.

2. Make a budget and stick to it

• More than a making a budget, it’s important to stick to it. More often than not you’ll come with temptations to stay in a slightly better place, eat at a fancy restaurant and take the cab instead of the metro, but, resist the temptation and stay in control.

• Once you have decided you’re going, start hunting for deals. For flights, for hotels, for your excursions, for everything. Getting good deals is essential to seeing more in less money. Before the start of our trip, we had fixed a budget of spending not more INR 1.5 lacs per person, we stuck to it religiously, save for a pint here or there, and spent close to INR 1.65 lacs per person for an 18 day trip. Yes, you read it right. This was inclusive of flights, hotels (Radisson and likes), food, excursions, expensive cab rides and other miscellaneous expenses. I’ll write more about how we managed our budgets soon.

3. How cold is it actually?

• It is going to be COLD. But, with the right clothing, you can manage it. The Norwegians have a saying, ‘There’s nothing like bad weather, only bad clothing’. I couldn't agree more. I'm a person who feels cold in Mumbai winters. And if I could go to Scandinavia in winter and come back alive and not in a frozen state, anyone can!

• Everything under a roof in Norway/Sweden is centrally heated helping you manage the cold. But still, it is easier said than done. Personally, I felt that more than the layers what helped us manage the cold was the fact that we were mentally and physically prepared for the cold. We even prepared ourselves physically for the cold by not wearing a jacket when the office temperatures decided to mimic the Polar temperatures or not asking the husband to turn off the AC while sleeping and shiver away all night. All this helped us immensely. And now that Norway is over, screaming at the Office Maintenance guy and the husband to turn off the AC is back!

• More than cold, it’s the wind that gets to you.

• Yes, you will have to dress in layers. 5-6 or more depending on cold tolerance. But resist the temptation to over pack. Please travel light. Carry not more than 10-12 pairs of clothes per person. You don’t sweat nor smell there. Dragging heavy suitcases on snow covered roads with hands protected by mittens and you in 5 layers of clothes is not easy!

4. All this is fine, but what about the food?

• If you’re a non-vegetarian Norway is your paradise.

• If you’re a vegetarian and Ambani’s kid, you’ll survive eating out at the Norwegian prices.

• If you’re vegetarian, not Ambani’s kid and travelling on a strict budget, CARRY FOOD. Ready to eat meals, soups and now that Maggi’s back, carry tons of Maggi. Even if they come back uneaten, you can stock and sell it in black if it gets banned again. This is what my uneaten Maggi stock is for!

• If you’re a Jain with strict eating policies, may God bless you in Norway. You have no option but to survive on theplas and khakras. Luckily, due to the cold, the theplas will last longer. Ours didn’t go bad in 18 days.

5. Where exactly is anything to do with the actual ‘Northern Lights’ in this post?

• In very simple terms, Northern Lights occurs when certain solar particles hit the particles in Earth’s atmosphere and because of a lot of stuff that was taught to us in Physics classes about electrons, ions, magnetic fields, energy states and the works, the sky lights up!

• Since the Northern Lights or Aurora Borealis is a natural phenomenon depending on the solar activity, you will never be able to predict for sure of an Aurora display. So yes, all your money spent on this trip is a huge bet.

• Sometimes, the Auroral display will last for hours and sometimes, only a few minutes. So basically, you’ll have be ready once it’s dark.

• Photographing the Auroras is quite tricky. You’ll need a DSLR camera and will have to make a few setting changes to take pictures. A normal digicam or your phone won’t do. For iPhones, there’s an app – Northern Lights Photo Taker (Rs.60) is a decent enough app to take pictures.

• There’s too much to the Northern Lights to be able to fit in the sub-point of a point in a blog post. It deserves more!

And yes, the most important thing about the famous Northern Lights that no one will tell you – The magnificent Aurora Borealis is nothing like what Google Images or National Geographic or Instagram pictures have been telling you. To know more, keep watching this space. Till then, enjoy the slideshow I've created on the Northern Lights pictures we've clicked.

Photo Credits - Karan Mehta

Of Growing Up ... And Being Married

I recently read this article online that mentioned the signs of being in a good relationship. After reading this, I instinctively felt that the writer missed the most important sign of being in a good relationship. That of not posting about your every moment spent with your partner on social media, instead of enjoying and living it. Half of my Facebook timeline is full of husbands not being able to have enough of their wives and girls going all my-hubby-is-the-best-hubby-in-the-whole-of-MilkyWay. 

I'm 8 months married and it absolutely doesn't feel like being married. Maybe the fact that I have geographically relocated within one kilometre of my previous residence is a major reason. When you're staying in the same area, there's less of adjustments to be made. You know the roads, the shortcuts to get around, the grocery stores, the restaurants, the subjiwalas and the likes. (Not that I do any of the home grocery shopping now after marriage, but still thought of adding the point to make myself sound like an adarsh bahu.) 

Jokes apart, adjustments or no adjustments, there are serious orientation issues after marriage for girls. Something their husbands will never understand. And many will even crack jokes. Like mine does. Girls, my advice to you, ignore them. If you can, record their jokes and play it when they are crying at your daughter's bidaai. Game. Set. Match. 

Yes, so digressions apart, the orientation issues stem from the fact that suddenly in one day, you no longer return with your parents to what you grew knowing to be 'your' home. You return to a new house, with new people and you're supposed to call it 'your' home. It takes time for your mind to adjust! It took me some time to train my mind to not keep playing Candy Crush Saga when the train halts at Andheri, but quickly get off, as you no longer have to get off at Vile Parle. 

For quite some time, while you're struggling to call a new house as yours, your new family more than welcomes you in their home and life and you start to adapt to their way of life, at the same time, you start getting a little distant from your old home.  It's a phase where you basically feel like you're in a No Man's Land. You don't belong at either places! It's like, you know that your new home is IT but you've always been at your old home! You are unable to call any of your homes as YOURS. It weird. And only the ones who go through this would understand the feeling of this strange belonging yet no-belongingness. 

This state of disorientation hits the peak when you're supposed to sign documents. Old sign or new sign. Old name or new name. The first thing is to figure a new sign. And remembering it! And then the withdrawal symptoms of still calling yourself by your maiden surname. There are certain things that are absolutely difficult to let go of.  

It hits you even more, a week into your honeymoon, when the lack of Indian food in your stomach, makes you wonder how your parents have let you go to another hemisphere with a guy. ALONE. 

And then one look at your husband, and you forget all this. Even the lack of Indian food. 

Because he makes it all worth it. The adjustments you have to make, the disorientation, the name change. Everything. 

Of Growing Up and .... Getting Married

You're growing old and looking for prospective grooms/about to get married/frustrated with your friend's changed relationship status and couple pics. That's a fact.

But it doesn't hit you when you shift your cribbing focus from men (this cribbing topic is for keeps for life, age no bar!) to the meaninglessness of life. Doesn't hit you when it's been years since you completed your post graduation. Doesn't even hit you when your classmates get married, have babies. Doesn't hit you when people whom you once cribbed about men to, are getting married. Doesn't even hit when you're own best buds tell you they're getting married. This in fact gets you more excited about life! It doesn't hit when you're busy getting wasted at her bachelorette party. Doesn't hit when you're getting engaged yourself. You think it'll hit you when the time comes for you to act like a daughter in law along with being a daughter and balance both, it doesn't hit you even then. You know you're growing old but it just plain refuses to sink in.

Then one day your Dad comes home with overpriced mangoes and tells your mom to feed you 4 mangoes a day because this is your last mango season at home and it hits you. More potent than a neat vodka shot. That you're getting married ... You're not getting old, but have actually become old.

You ask your best friend a week before her wedding what she's doing and she says she's packing. And you count the days left for you to start packing 24 years of your life in a few suitcases and move on to call another house as your own.

And all we wanted to do when we were young, playing with and getting our Barbies married, was to grow up and get married! And now when we are, it refuses to sink it, it's difficult to let go...

The heroine of my blog is getting married next week to be the heroine of someone else's life. Aanchal, wish you a lifetime and beyond of happiness. And P.S, barring a few days when I couldn't make it for your sangeet's dance practice, we successfully averted Bride Wars!

Love, Then and Now - My entry for the Get Published contest

The Idea Description:

Having grown up on a diet of SRK movies, at 15, Aabha thought love was all about having romantic candle light dinners and whispering sweet nothings. Falling in love in her class 10 best friend, Arjun, she had a love affair that made her friends green with envy. But now, at 25, when she is no longer a love-struck teenager and a long distance relationship with Arjun leaves her with huge pangs of loneliness and makes her think about love, marriage, life and beyond.

At an age where you step into a world where a superstar among friends in college is a nobody in the real world and everything you knew about yourself and life no longer holds true, an age when you want a guy to be there holding you when you fall, Aabha finds herself completely alone.

Another corporate world nobody, Vikrant, Aabha’s colleague, can’t wait to get away from her lonely pangs and mushy talks about her boyfriend. After a couple of late nights at work in office and dropping home trips, the definition of love changes for Aabha. Is it candle light dinners? A habit? An infatuation with a person you’ve just met because you’re bored? Or is it friendship at a level where the line between love and friendship diminishes?

Extract from the story:

After an exceptionally early, yet tiring day, Vikrant and I decided to take a detour for a coffee at CCD Carter Road, but the sea looked more inviting than coffee, so I dragged Vikrant along with me for a stroll by the sea. It was quiet walk. Our hands touched a couple of times and my heart ached for him to hold my hand.

I wanted someone to hold my hand. It had been long since Arjun held my hand. There’s something about a guy holding your hand which says that everything is alright in the world and even if it isn’t, I’ll make it alright. I craved for human touch. I craved for someone to talk to me, to listen to me, but Arjun was too busy. In complete silence, we walked for 20 minutes. My mind wandered aimlessly about Arjun’s memories. Vikrant was quiet too, maybe he was thinking of someone too.

It was the quietest evening I’ve had in a long time, yet I felt I had the best conversations of my life. Sometimes, a little solitude, someone to walk with and a vast ocean is all we need.

We were silent in his car too when he came to drop me home. As he braked in front of my building, I thanked him for a wonderful evening. He came forward and smiled. I smiled and open the door to step out.

“Aabha”, Vikrant called out. I turned back to look at him and he came forward, confidently this time to kiss me on my forehead and said “Whatever it is, it’ll be alright”.

And with that, my well controlled flow of tears gave way and I hugged him.

Endnote: This is my entry for the HarperCollins–IndiBlogger Get Published contest, which is run with inputs fromYashodhara Lal and HarperCollins India.

If you liked my story, please vote for me by clicking on the heart button here

Of Growing Up and Twilight, Harry Potter and Other Casualties

There was a time when I was crazy about the Twilight series. And by crazy, I mean the mad crazy levels where one needs rehab. And I have written about it too! But then between finishing reading the series almost 3 years back and now, a lot of growing up has happened, which makes you laugh at your once-upon-a-time choices. It started last year when I saw Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 1 with a friend who had no clue about the Twilight series and and when I explained the story, the look I got from my friend was like was well, rather not be explained! Obviously, what would you get when you tell a person that you were crazy behind a book who's story was about a love triangle between a vampire, a human and a werewolf. And the human chooses the vampire over to werewolf and the dejected werewolf turns into a pedophile falling for the human and vampire's kid! Yes, it sounds funny, but read the books. They would make you want to get rehab! They're so addictive. Anyways, so since I was over Twilight, I thought I'd see the last installment of the series, Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 only to laugh about it. And laugh on me. The movie was strictly ok. Because there was only Bella in it and so less of Edward Cullen. Who wants to watch Twilight for Bella?! And in the middle of cursing the director for too much of Bella (I was wondering if Kristen Stewart had an affair with this director too. Does this sound like I read a lotta tabloids... Damn!) yeah, so digressions apart, amidst wondering why I liked Twilight at all, there came this song in the last 5 mins wherein they showed a flashback of all the 4 movies, and my long lost love for Edward and Twilight resurfaced with full force! Ah! Old romances do die hard! There's just something about 'forever' that make women go weak in their knees. Maybe that's why the diamond companies position diamonds as things that are there forever!

Growing up has a lot of casualties. Like one was not liking Twilight anymore. Another is that you stop sugar coating your words while giving advice. Have too many close friends dealing with 5-6 years of relationships breaking down. So earlier, when hope, faith, be positive would do the trick, you're now telling them to just accept that it's over and move on. People find it weird to listen to it from a person who believed in YRF romances and Twilight of course! Well, growing up does that to you. Changes your outlook in life. But, sometimes life isn't a bed of roses. Sometimes, to cure a wound, you just need to have a firm hand, cut and suture. Like a surgeon. (Yes, there's too much of Grey's Anatomy in my blood right now. You can't blame me. McDreamy is hot. Denny was hotter, though. They should have taken a better looking Meredith! Just like how Top Gun would've been much better with a better looking actress.)

Also, SRK had sent out a nice tweet which I feel is very true when Yash Chopra passed away, which was something like, when someone dies, a part of you dies with that person. Well, that's kinda true. Not just with death. With every person who was there in your life at one point and isn't there anymore, that person takes a part of you with him/her while leaving. A part of you kinda dies. Not in a very creepy Horcrux way though. (Horcrux what? Well, oh yeah, I 've been a Harry Potter fan too :P) 

I read this interesting article about being in your 20s. And there was this one point that was so freaking true. It goes like 'You’re going to lose touch with a lot of your friends. With some people, it will be expected but with others it will feel like a punch to the stomach. No friendship is truly safe in your twenties. You’re undergoing so many personal and professional changes that there’s bound to be some casualties along the way. Don’t worry though. You’ll end up with the ones that matter. If someone’s no longer in your life, it’s for a reason.'  And this practically sums up your friends equation between beginning your life in 20s and ending it. And I'm in the first half of 20s and already scared at the rate we're losing touch with friends.

I had been to a friend's engagement sometime last week and I just remarked to another friend that how when we were studying together, 5 years back we knew what our friend's other friends are upto and now, we barely know what happening with our friends. At least some of them inform you about their impending weddings/engagements, for the others, you're left at Facebook's mercy! I dread the day when a friend would invite for for their wedding through an invite on Facebook!

Enough serious thoughts for a Sunday evening! Time to listen to A Thousand Years from Twilight again and getting lost into Twilight again :) Brings back sweet memories of the past. Craziness was fun. Anyone game for watching the series again next weekend over popcorn and girly giggles for Edward? Do send me an invite on Facebook :P

Hope reading this blog today was as good as reading this blog back in 2008-09 :) Do let me know. Can do with some ego massage :P

Ishaqzaade.....Kahan Hain Ab Jahaanon Main!

* Spoiler Alert: Read at your own risk*

I was rather eager to watch Ishaqzaade because the promos looked very promising, I like the director, Habib Faisal's previous work Do Dooni Char and I like Parineeti Chopra. She's different from all the other newbie actresses we have. She's cute, has a dazzling smile, possesses great screen presence, is confident and can act! Definitely better than her sister! I went in with a lot of hopes for the movie and didn't come out completely disappointed. It was an ok-ok movie where the characters were well etched and could have been used to bring out a better love story, but weren't. The love story wasn't convincing. They fell in and out of love rather easily....! It was like a nice meal with all the dal, subzi, chapati and chaval....but the achar was missing that made the difference. Maybe all the UP style adaptations of Shakespeare's work should be best left to Vishal Bharadwaj for the complete meal feeling. 

Parineeti Chopra doesn't disappoint. Arjun Kapoor is haawwttt .....until he opens his mouth! I loved watching him on screen, but the minute he delivered a dialogue, I went into a self-question mode wondering how did I find him hot! He looks and acts like Abhishek Bachchan, with a side angle resemblance to Pratiek Babbar. Seriously, didn't he get better actors to emulate? He can't eat with an injured arm, but can easily do push-ups with the same arm. But then, that's the case with all our Bollywood heroes. Even with all the criticisms, he's far more tolerable  than his cousin, Sonam Kapoor! So I'll give it to him. 

The music is refreshing good. Pareshan and both the Ishaqzaade songs are my favourites. I don't know if  others could feel it, but I think the starting music of the Ishaqzaade title track had a little Jan-Gana-Mana feeling, maybe to drive home the point of National Integration because of the Hindu-Muslim angle in the movie. Also, one can't miss the last note of the movie where they mention how many people die because of inter-caste marriages was very Satyamev-Jayateish. Speaking of the end, I didn't like it. I'm the typical Bollywood audience. I want to see a 'Happily ever after' ending, guess I'll have to watch DDLJ and its last scene of 'Jaa Simran Jeele Apni Zindagi' to have a feel good feeling. 

The final word is that the movie is a good one time watch. Should you spend money to watch it in a theatre? Well, that depends on how much money you have! I would recommend waiting until it comes on TV and hope that it doesn't get canned at the nth minute ala The Dirty Picture.

Chalo, am off to finally see The Dirty Picture. 

And yes, I'll try listening to the many requests I've got to start writing again/writing more frequently and shall come back soon :) To all the regular readers, a big thank you for sticking by all my writer's mood swings and still staying loyal and pushing me to write more :)

Of Growing Up and... MLIC!

There are days when you want to do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just eat, sleep and repeat the routine. I thought I was the only one suffering from the most extreme bout of lethargy, when my friend, Ajay came with a theory to my rescue. A theory called - 'The Mid Life Inertia Crisis (MLIC)'. Mid life crisis because you're stuck at the crossroads between not wanting to grow up and having to grow up. A time when everything changes. The only good thing that comes out of it is that you start loving and respecting your parents more than ever (yeah, but that still doesn't reduce the number of altercations you have with your Mom over your 'training period' in the kitchen). That was about Mid Life. Actually, I was arguing that it should be Mid Mid Life because, well, you're just a little over 20, so Mid Life sounds really OLD! But then, Ajay argued saying that looking at our current lifestyles we'd be lucky to get to the other side of 40. True. And the Inertia bit in the theory was the lethargy of being comfortable in our current lives to that extent that we don't want any change to pull us out of so-called-comfort zone (e.g: marriage!)

I don't know how many of you actually got the theory. If you didn't, let me know, I'll get you in touch with Ajay.... he's looking for more bakras to validate his theory!

Just before writing this post, I was feeling so lazy that I thought I'd sleep it out, but some brainwave asked me to listen to songs from Wake Up Sid. And I did. After YouTubing the video for Boondon ke moti, all I wanted to do was open my laptop and write! There's something in that song that just livens you up! And yeah... the added benefit of seeing Ranbir getting wet in a white shirt! (oh damn! I sound so lecherous!) I so miss raving about Ranbir to my friends....something I haven't done in years. You have to watch Raajneeti to see how evil and scheming can be hot. You have to watch Rocket Singh to see how honesty can be cute. You have to watch Wake Up Sid to know how rich, spoilt brat-ness can be endearing! 

None of the current bunch of actors come even close to him in terms of acting or even looks! The one who comes close to his name...Ranveer Singh... is just an irritatingly cheap wannabe copy of Shah Rukh Khan. What he doesn't understand is that to be cute by being tongue in cheek, you need to have a quick wit and not the desperation to grab a co-star/rumored-to-be-girlfriend's ass on national TV! 

Something that happens along with growing up is the increase of impatience! I just saw 5 secs of a song from that Ricky Bahl movie and spewed venom on that poor Ranveer Singh! 

One more thing that changes with age is the definition of love. Or maybe it's just coming of age. Love, I think becomes a tad boring as you grow up. Or maybe we just realize that it isn't exactly a fairy tale world out here! Love isn't what SRK showed in his movies.... it's about that effortlessness in writing about it which isn't there anymore. It's more than love these days. It's not wild anymore.... there's no drama in love....because the talk about 'responsibility' takes it all away! Or maybe it's just me.... I'm so used to having so much of drama in my life that the complete absence of it makes me....impatient and annoyingly lethargic! My life may not have drama, but the best thing about being a writer is that you can add drama in others' lives! I'm planning to restart writing the story that I had left mid-way almost 2 years back! Hope I don't let the laziness come between the laptop and me!

Ah! I don't know what I have written. Just wrote the first things that came to my mind! Hope you liked it:) And you know what makes the MLIC more depressing... the rational fact that the world ain't ending in 2012! 

Happy new year, BTW!

Of Growing up and... well...just growing up!

Yeah yeah I know it's been a freakishly long time since I last blogged. I don't know... in the beginning, I wasn't in the mood to write anything, and then later on, there was nothing I wanted to write on. Actually, there was lots I wanted to write on, but then, when you know your audience, you choose to not write everything that you actually, really want to write about! Maybe, it's time for an anonymous blog now!

Of late I've been stuck up in the I-don't-wanna-grow-up phase. Staying young, in college was fun. Life was a fully paid vacation. There were no deadlines, no presentations to make. A time when you had lots of time for your family, friends and more importantly ...lots of time for yourself. Now, all you get for self pity are blink-and-you'll-miss-them weekends!

Anyways, one thing that I hate the most about not being a student anymore is the fact that now you're considered as a prey whose wedding is where everyone wants to feast! I mean, I know, I've always been of the mujhe toh bachpan se hi shaadi karne ka shaukh hain but then, now, I have grown up and all of my bachpan ke shaukh have worn off (only for the fact that marriage is only going to make growing up look more serious and yeah .... the mountain of responsibilities on your head... a semi paid vacation at your parents' place is really what you should look at mazimising!)Yeah, so digressions apart, here is a piece of conversation that I was subjected to 47 times last Sunday at a social gathering. Oh yes, I almost forgot the most important thing that changes in your life after you're done with your education - the compulsion to attend social functions which you have very well avoided until now citing reasons like - 

• "I have my test series going on" - when you're in your 10th. 
• "I have journals to complete/I have early morning practicals" - when you're a poor hassled science student
• "I have presentations to make" - when you're an even more hassled MBA student

And you made excuses to stay back home and enjoy watching TV with no one to disturb you! But now, there are very few excuses that you can make -

• "I have a bad headache" 
• "My stomach's hurting" (and being a girl, you can ALWAYS get away with this one!Hehaw!)
• (This is the season's favourite) "Oh damn! I so wanted to come...but this friend of mine is getting engaged/married today"

See, this is one more downside of growing up - you have an attention span of a butterfly! I was supposed to share with you the conversation I had 47 times the other day. It goes like....

Me : (visibly forced to mingle around) Hello, how are you?

Aunt: (visible excited at the sight of a new bakra) I'm good. How about you? So which CLASS are you studying in?

Me: (visibly irritated at still being thought of as a school kid ...even at 23!) I'm done with my studies...I'm an MBA now... and have been working for almost a year now!

Aunt: (visibly more excited at the possibility of another wedding to attend) That's nice! So now it's time for your marriage!

Me: (visibly irritated with having the same conversation for one of the 47 times!) Haha! Let's see!

So, my point is why is marriage the next destination after studies? That's the entire problem with our society. We just don't want our children to breathe. There's always another destination to go to. Another train to catch, another job to take, another assignment to finish. Why can't we just stand back and enjoy where we are today? It's more peaceful and satisfying that ways. I know, marriage is inevitable and like all girls, I too have been dreaming of my Prince Charming and my wedding since I was gifted my first Barbie, but right now, I want to have some time for myself, because like everyone my age, I'm too damned confused about what I want in life! A simple example would be expecting an answer to the question - what is the kind of a guy that you want? It looks simple, but it's not a simple question to answer. You're confused about which are the qualities that you REALLY want and which are the ones that you can let go of. And it's a tough call to take.

I'm sure this post must be a real shocker to all those who know me well and are very well aware of my 'sabki shaadi ho rahi hain, meri shaadi kab hogi' cries! But then, like they say, people grow up and I'm trying to maintain pace with my growing age!

Another reason why you don't want to grow up is because you know there's another generation behind you who's faster and smarter than you are and the fact that though you're only 5 years elder to them, they consider you to be from another generation. I was in for a shock when my 18 year old cousin made that very clear to me when she actually said that I'm from another generation because I couldn't fathom the meaning of a couple of words that are commonplace for today's JC students! And the fact that all my younger cousins laugh at my lack of knowledge of technology and still having a high end phone is a sever blow to the ego! What they don't understand is that, self pity aside, weekends is all the time you have and sleeping then is what you would love to do the most! Guess, I will have to wait for them to come on this end of the line to know what it's like being called belonging to a different generation!

P.S - Marriage woes aside, now, I'm scared of what my kids, who's have a good 25-30 years age gap with me think about me....If 5 years is another generation, 30 years would be Stone Age!

Strong reason for not getting married!!

Of Growing Up And... Complicated Thoughts

Habits, they say is an acquired pattern of behavior that often occurs automatically. And addiction arises from habit due to a habit forming substance. So, where does love fall? Is it a habit, as it an aberration of your normal behavior sort of acquired over a period of time? Or is it an addiction, resulting from a very serious habit of the person one loves? What really is love? It just can’t be a mere feeling. Love, I believe, is more potent to be called a ‘feeling’. Love makes you want to do crazy things…even sing songs atop the Alps in miniskirts and thin chiffon sarees to wanting to kill someone. Love makes you forget reason. Just like addiction does. So does that mean that love is an addiction? But, then, not everyone does the aforementioned things while in love? So does that mean they love their partners any less? Or is it that they are plain sane (and boring!) Maybe for them, love is just a habit which hasn’t reached the addiction level. Or is it that love is something totally different and I’m thinking too much into it.

When we talk about habits, I feel there are many things besides love that can be habits. Like people for example. There are some people, who become habits. Friends, crushes, family… So what happens when the one to whom you are habituated to moves on in life, while you are at the same place?
And then because you have to also show that you have grown up, there’s ego that plays a very important part. So, what would win…habit or ego? Both are equally strong and equally hollow.  Would reason have a role to play in the fight? Would it be a referee declaring who’s the winner or would it be a third side in the already existing tug-of-war between ego and habit and complicating the situation further? Someone I know told me, that the only thing stronger than ego is reason. But what if the ego doesn’t let the reason to sound reasonable enough? What would happen to habit then?

What about lust? Is it a habit or an addiction? Or just very intense love? Then what is obsession? Is lust stronger or reason? Does this reason stem from logic or from preset beliefs? Then this takes us to a totally unchartered dimension… what’s stronger….reason or beliefs? But what if beliefs are wrong and so strong that you can’t see reason… at a level wherein beliefs become faith? What if our faith is wrong? Would it still be called faith? But then when we are doubting the basic premise that differentiates hope from faith, how can it still be called faith? It would then be hope or a belief. What is it that drives terrorists to kill people? Is it hope, faith or belief?

Or is it that all the above questions that I raised were totally subjective? Maybe they were or maybe they were not. If they were not, someone is gonna have faith issues!

P.S – I was not high on weed while writing this post.

P.P.S – Some habits are beautiful. Ms. Aanchal Bhugra, you were my most beautiful habit. My blog misses you… and so do I. Stop being a kanjus marwadi and start commenting like an extravagant Punju!!

Of Growing Up and ... Friends

I don't know what it is...is it our psychology or is it basic human greed to always find grass on the other side of the court greener. When I was in college, I wanted to grow up sooner and get out of college. And this was particularly worse in the last two semesters of my MBA course where I was just waiting for November and I wouldn't have to go to college any more (It's July, and I still have to go to college, courtesy my Sem 4 project....don't even get me started on it). And now, after almost 6 months of having starting to work, I envy the college kids with their pink BB phones I see in trains. Those, indeed, were lovely days. A time when life was a wonderfully well paid vacation. Ah, I so envy those days when my Dad would buy me a laptop and I wouldn't have to spend my salary on buying one!! And yes, there's an entire conundrum about how to file your income tax returns! Never knew growing up could suck so much!

When we were in school, I had friends whose head count ran in two digit numbers. After school got over, that number diminished, yet the two digit figure somehow sustained itself by random college friends, classes friends, friends of friends, friends of friends' boyfriends and so on.With the advent of Orkut and Facebook, the two digit number went to a good three digit number. I have some 400 odd friends on Facebook and I haven't spoken to 380 odd of them in years! And I don't see myself speaking to them in the future too. And these were all 'good' friends of mine at some point. Yes, I am very selective about whom I add!! You read my Wanna Make Fraandship series right! And I don't know why I don't talk to them anymore. What has happened that most of them have stopped resonating with me.

I am known to have a lot of bestfriends. Right now, I have 6 of them. They were 11 until two years back. And even of the 6 BFFs I have today, I see 2 of them slowly slipping away. Other 2 of these 6 are guys, so at some point either I will move apart from their lives or they'll move apart depending on who gets married first! So, I'll be left with only 2 then. So, in sum, out of 440, I'll be down to 2 friends!! And that's a scary picture to envisage! Sometimes, the only reason why you want to stop time is to maintain the status quo you have with your friends and preserve it in time. 

Like a typical teenager, I never listened to my Mom and she ended up giving me a lot of  'Talk to me when you're my age' looks and I gave her the 'Whatever' looks. And she told me, that this would happen, that one day everyone will get busy with their own lives and you'll be left to deal with yours on your own, and I refuted her claims by saying that I'll always have people. And I feel like going and telling my Mom how right she had always been. I know people grow up, they start working, get in and out of relationships, have new bosses and mothers-in-law and exes and exes of current to deal with and they get only a weekend for the same and then asking the same person to take some time out for you, is a little unfair. I also would want to finish my quota of sleep before I dash to meet my friends! But, there are some people without whom you just can't do and life is at its best when the people for whom you feel so, also feel the same for you and actually go out of their way to keep you a part of their lives. I'm glad, that I have 6 such friends.I hope I have these 6 for as long as I can. And of these 6, there's one who's posted in a tribal area of Maharashtra and he still finds network enough to call me once a week. Who wants a boyfriend, when you have a few friends who take so many pains to just talk to you! 

P.S 1 : I still wouldn't mind a boyfriend...any rich, single, handsome, intelligent Gujju reading this, please feel free to contact me!

P.S 2 : Posting for the first time from my new laptop...yeah the one I paid for myself....and it feels great!

P.S. 3: Growing up isn't about getting over Twilight and Harry Potter. Growing up is about maintaining your BFFs come bosses, exes and mothers-in-law!!

P.S. 4: Again, for the first time, I'm posting something that I've not read again, not proof read, not checked for spelling/grammar errors. I've written whatever my fingers typed. And I don't care of its shitty. After a real long time, I don't care about what people have to say about me or about what I write!

P.S 5: I'm not drunk! This post is just an after effect of being sick of calling up many numbers to 'Waiting Active'!

The 'Mumbai Spirit' - A Short Story - Part I

Part I

26^th Nov 2007

“Where are we going?”, I asked Abeer. We got engaged 7 months back, after seeing each other for 5 years. We were going to get married in another 20 days. “When can I open my blindfold?”  I asked him, fidgeting with the blindfold over my eyes”

“In some time. Just stop fidgeting and stay still”, he said, as he held my hand and led me somewhere.

“Why can’t you just tell me what my surprise is? Why all this? But what is my surprise, tell me no”, I said. It was our 5^th anniversary.

“If you’re going to keep on asking such irrelevant and redundant questions even after marriage, then I have some serious rethinking to do”

“How is asking what my surprise gift is on my anniversary an irrelevant question?”, I argued back

“Aaaarooohiii…the only way I can shut you up is this…..” he stopped, lifted me in his arms, kissed me on the lips and started walking again.

After a while, he stopped and put me down. Then it seemed like he was opening a door with some keys. He got me in. All this while I was wondering where on Earth he had got me in the name of our 5^th Anniversary celebration. He opened my blindfold and I after a couple of moments of disorientation, I realised we were in his living room standing by a table with a real big, fat candle which was lit in an otherwise completely dark room.

“This is your gift”, he said with the widest smile he could manage.

“A candle?”, I asked, perplexed, flustered and angry. I was blindfolded to be given a candle!

“No! This is your gift….” He said, taking my right hand in his and started walking around the table ahead of me. “I promise to always provide for you….”, he said, looking directly into my eyes. It was then when I realised what my actual surprise was!

“Your wish would be my command”, he said, taking a second round. When he saw my eyes sparkle, he added, “Only the reasonable and affordable ones!”

“I promise to be with you in sickness and in health”, he said, taking a third round

“I promise to always be faithful and loyal to you”, we took the fourth round

“I will always be supportive of you, in whatever you do” we took the fifth round

“I will be with you till death do us part”, we took the sixth round

“And when death comes, it will have to go through me to get to you” and with that we finished taking seven rounds of the table.

“No, death will have to go through me to get to you”,I said with tears in my eyes.

“Shut up. These were my vows, so my wish” he said. “Anyways, there’s more. I take you, Aarohi Sharma as my lawfully wedded wife. Do you take me as your lawfully wedded husband?”

“Obviously I do!!!!”, I shouted excitedly.

“Can the groom kiss the bride now?”

“We’re married now!!! You don’t need to ask for permission anymore”, I winked.

“Not that I used to ask for it earlier also, but still”, he said and we kissed for the first time as man and wife.

And that day, my love for him multiplied manifolds. I remember, after we got engaged when our parents sat down to finalise a date for our wedding, I wanted it to happen on 26^th Nov, which is our anniversary  day but we couldn’t find a decent place to get married as all of them were booked, so the fixed date was 16^th December. But, looking at my dejected face, Abeer had promised that we would get married on 26^th Nov and we did!! I had completely forgotten about it, but he hadn’t.

26^th Nov 2008

It was our first wedding anniversary (between us, we always maintained that we got married on the 26^th and not on the 16^th) and he was already an hour late. I was sitting alone at Wasabi at theTaj Mahal Palace playing with my phone and waiting for him to turn up before the waiters threw me out for not ordering. He came running towards the table where I was sitting, looking gorgeous in his white shirt worn over faded blue jeans. Men shouldn’t wear this combination…it isn’t easy to stay angry for long if you find the other person irresistibly hot! He bent over and kissed me on the forehead, hoping to placate me.

“Sorry baby”

“I don’t want to talk to you.”, I frowned. Well, faked it.

“I got late because I was hunting for this for you”, he said showing me a complete Twilight series in his hand. I wanted to smile really badly, but I controlled.

“I’m over Twilight”, I showed him some attitude

“Then, this will help you fall in love again”, he said handing me the book series.

“Fall in love with whom? Edward Cullen?”, I said teasingly.

“I know you’re a one-man woman…and I’m your man! That blood sucking vampire can wait”

“You should consider yourself to be a very lucky guy…. Your wife just can’t stay angry for long”, I said.

“That’s because of my pure genius sweetheart!”

“Whatever!”, I said, throwing my napkin at him.

“Yeah, I love you too”, he said with a smile on his face. I couldn’t hear him as some other crazy Punjabis were bursting a lot of noisy crackers to celebrate someone’s wedding. “I’ll just go to the loo and come”

“Abeeer”, I complained.

“2 minutes baby”, he came forward and kissed me before walking off.

The Punjus outside Wasabi were getting crazier and sound levels at which their crackers burst could actually deafen humans! Abeer came back soon as promised.

Soon after he settled in his chair, 2-3 men dressed in black, like commandoes entered Wasabi with their huge guns and started firing randomly.

“Abeeerrrr”, I shouted in terror, unable to process what was happening, unable to hear anything, totally confused.

 I stood up, wanting to run. Abeer sprang up the second he saw me stand and jumped on me across the table and we both fell on the floor. Everything happened so suddenly that I couldn’t comprehend what was happening. All I knew was Abeer was on top of me and his mouth was on mine. I understood that it was a signal for me to shut up and not start crying. Those commandoes were still firing randomly and I kept my eyes tightly shut lest they know Abeer and I were still alive. I kept on reciting prayers for Abeer and my safety. I had a barter deal with God… that if Abeer and I make it out of here safe, I wouldn’t ever read Twilight. That was a huge compromise.

For what seemed decades was only a couple of minutes when the firing stopped and there was a deafening silence that gripped Wasabi. A couple of minutes later, I could hear people cry. I still didn’t dare move. Abeer was on me, he didn’t move either, I thought that was a cue for me to stay still. He was rather heavy today. He isn’t so heavy when he’s on top of me while we’re making love. I couldn’t breathe because his weight was crushing my lungs and I kept my hands on his back, trying to shake hi, without talking, to signal him to take his weight off me. When I moved my hands over him, his back was all wet. I feared the worst and when I brought my hand to my face, I couldn’t breathe. And that wasn’t because of his weight…. It was because of his blood……

This can’t be true!!! It must have been someone else’s blood on his clothes. He can’t…. I couldn’t bring myself to say the word….even think of it….. he’s just 28 for God’s sake!  And we’ve been married only for a year! There’s so much more to life ahead of us….. I cupped his face in my hands and shook it. A stream of blood came out from his mouth onto mine and it was like someone dropped at 100kg stone on my chest.

After minutes of struggling to get out from under him, I finally found the strength to move out, sit upright and keep his head on my lap. The white shirt that he was wearing was everything but white now. Red was my favourite color, but not when his shirt was full of it……

I know he was just kidding with me for still liking Twilight and Edward at 25. And he knows how much blood freaks me. He’s just plain mean!

“Abeer, listen na baby”, I said, shaking him. “Open your eyes no baby. Abeer….”, I said, with tears rolling down my cheeks. “Abeer, sweetie, I promise I won’t read Twilight again. I won’t ever talk about Edward to you… I’ll not like him. I know you hate me liking him….I’m sorry baby…please open your eyes no….just tell me once more you love me. Abeer, I won’t ever get mad at you for getting late. Come whenever you want to…. I will not say anything. I will never pester you by asking you stupid questions….but please just talk to me once. Abeer….. you can’t go…..you can’t leave me alone…… What happened to the kids we were going to have. Ok, I won’t force you for a son…. I’ll name our child whatever you want… I won’t fight with you on it….but baby, please just once, talk to me na….open your eyes Abeer……”, I shook as I spoke to him. He was just not responding. He can’t be so upset with me for liking Edward.

“Abeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr open your eyes Abeer”

***

Part II Coming Soon.