This World Is Getting Hornier By The Day!

Yes! I mean it....this world's really getting hornier by the day!! All you can see at Bandra Fort is couples making out....behind dupattas! And if you're standing in a make-out free corner with your friends, the dogs come to chase you out!! What is this...some kind of Natural Selection to weed out singles?!?!?! You see making out couples everywhere...parking lot of malls, roads (yes...try walking on Carter Road sometime!), rickshaws, movie theatres...!!! 

Just recently I had been to one of the malls for some fieldwork for my Retail Management project....and when we parked the car in the parking lot, the car next to us had a couple making out! I had only heard about it...but never really seen it, so I decided to not look away from the making-out couple.... if they're shameless enough to do it in a public place, I'm shameless enough to peek too! And to me shock, the making out girl looked back at me and smiled!!! Now, I was embarrassed, when I think it should've been the other way round! But thinking money-wise, I think making-out in a parking lot is the cheapest! For just 40 bucks, you can be there all day...as compared to a minimum of 300 bucks if you go to a movie theatre...which would be only for 3 hours*! This is if you're looking for some privacy while making out...! If you want it totally free....ask the rickshaw person to take you to Bandra Fort (you can get extra making-out time in the rick as well!) And instead of analyzing Customer Touch Points at a Mall, here I am analyzing Making-Out Points in the City!! So much for being single...you have so much time for yourself to wonder about all the non-nonsensical things in the world!! 

* If you go for a movie like What's Your Rashee....you have have four and a half....(or was it five)hours for 300 bucks! I had a couple make out right in the seat next to me when I went for this excuse of a movie!

These days, I even see school kids make out in rickshaws!! And one survey I read somewhere said that the average age an Indian loses his/her virginity is 19!!!!!!! At 19 all I was romancing was Salmonella and Shigella! I'm dreading to think what would my kids do! I really hope I don't have a Juno at home! Talking of surveys, my friend Ajay, told me about this survey Durex had conducted worldwide and it found out that Indian women are the most experimental ones in bed!!! Now, that's something new!! I thought Indian women were all shy and coy!!!! I asked a couple of friends as to who are the best men in bed....and I got an unequivocal answer to that - French Men! But then, again I've read somewhere that 65% of French people don't brush their teeth!!! So, now my next wondering mission is to wonder how French Kissing came into existence!! 

Of late, I've become a Sex and The City addict!! I finished 2 seasons in 3 days!!! 30 episodes!!! And I so love Carrie Bradshaw.....she's so much like me!!!!! Trust me, if I'm single till 30..... I'm gonna be her (minus the casual sex part ofcourse!!) The series is awesome....gives you a lotta gyaan on love, life, sex and men ofcourse!!! Even in here....all the four of them, on an average have a new sleeping partner in every episode!!! 

I think, I'm the last one the the 16th century remains who believes in monogamy!!! Because I hardly see people who seem to echo my opinions!! I'm not one of those dogmatic people who believes that sex is taboo, but then go on to have 6 kids by the time they're 40.... all I'm saying is that, pre-marital sex is OK, casual sex is okay too (to each his own!).....but only when it's behind closed doors.....and between the two people only. That's why these open making-out couples kind of irritate me!! This is my opinion on sex.....and like I say....if the two people involved are okay with doing whatever they are doing ....fuck the world!! (well, not literally!).

This is just a small tip for guys, if I may.... 

Tip #1: I know it's really difficult for you to read a girl....but before asking your girlfriend for physical intimacy.....try reading her unspoken words and find out if she's really okay with it....or is she doing it to just to please you...! More often than not, it's the latter!!

Tip # 2: (once you start giving tips to guys, there's no end....they're just so plain DUMB!!): If you are/were into casual sex, you are being an asshole of the highest order in wanting a virgin wife!!!!! And if you're my friend, be ready for my feminist rants!!!!

Tip # 3: You'll never know when a woman fakes it!!! (SATC Season 2, episode 4)

Now, this sounded like a typical Carrie Bradshaw column minus the question marks!!!!

P.S: If love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?!? 

I'm More Libran Than A Feminist!!!!

Contrary to what people think, I really do not enjoy being a feminist! Like I had mentioned in my earlier post as well, I'm dying to get back to my incurable, hopeless romantic ways!! And because of a string of feminist status updates on Facebook, one of my friends asked me to calm down lest I want people to think that I've turned gay!! I know I had mentioned to a couple of friends that PC is really hot in Anjaana Anjaani.....but, my heart still beats for Ranbir....and it will always do! BTW, if you haven't, then please check the video of Hairat from the same movie. Ranbir's attitude is aawwwww so hot!!! (And so are PC's legs!)

Yeah, like I was saying, I'm sick of this one sided feminist crusade, so like a true blue Libran, I've decided to post something from the guys' side! This also is an email forward I had received some days back. So, this one for all you Y-chromosomed creatures! 

Ode to the Nice Guys

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming. 

Thank you Ajay, Rao and Vinod for being the nice guys of my life !!!!

Female Chauvinist Swine!!!!

Of late, voluntarily or involuntarily, I'm finding myself turning into a feminist!!!! And I DON'T LIKE THIS!!! But,  at the same time, I am just not able to help it. It's like it has become a second nature to me....something that just comes to me as a reflex action!! Urggh!! I want to be the incurable, hopeless romantic again who's waiting for her vampire to come to her room and watch her sleep in the middle of the night.....my Edward Cullen re!! (you read the incurable, hopeless romantic ahead, didn't you!). But, seriously, I've started looking at life in a different way these days and from this angle, all I can see is how male-biased our society is! And how, even educated men today, are exactly like illiterate men. Both cheat, both hit women, both get drunk and abuse women, both are too egoistic to admit their mistakes...and so on!*

*The sample size of the study was very small!!! So men who are not like this, are cute and rich, may feel free to contact me!! 

But jokes apart, I've been having a lot of discussions on quite a few serious topics in life, and from the way the guys I'm having these discussions with are responding, it seems that we women are even today as un-liberated as we were some 7 centuries back! For example : Guys say they wouldn't mind a non-virgin wife, but again, it comes with such a long conditions apply asterisk!! Compare that with a girl when asked the same question!! I'm not saying that women are better or men are worse.... my point is just that men, even today are too rigid in their thoughts and mindsets compared to women, who, I think are more open and are really accepting to changing concepts. And I think, the main reason for this behaviour from guys is the Indian upbringing that they get!!!! Right from when they're born, just because of one chromosome, they have license to get away with just about anything!! They're allowed late nights, booze nights,week long Goa trips with friends......but their sisters in the same home are not!!! This somewhere makes them believe that they can really have the world without paying the right price for it!! And this is the reason they behave the way they do! I may be wrong, but then this is what I have seen. Also, there are few men, whom I know, are definitely not like this and the only problem with guys like these is that you're such thick friends with them, that you can't look at them in any other way!!! Ankit, Ajay.... I've told you guys time and again how lucky your wives would be!!!!

Everything that goes up on my blog has always been only original work by me, but there was this one email forward that I got last night, which I so have to put up!!! It is called Why Women Don't Get The Guy Of Their Dreams....!!! 

1. The nice men are ugly.

2. The handsome men are not nice.

3. The handsome and nice men are gay.

4. The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.

5. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men, have no money.

6. The men who are not so handsome, but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.

7. The handsome men without money are after our money.

8. The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual, don't think we are beautiful enough.

9. The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money, are cowards.

10. The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual, are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!

11. The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.

NOW, WHO THE HELL UNDERSTANDS MEN?

"Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with."

The thing that had me in splits was the last quote...!!!! Until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with!!!!!! ROFL!!! LOL!!!

P.S : Thanks, Manalee for the FCS term you introduced me with!!!