September 6, 2010

This World Is Getting Hornier By The Day!

Yes! I mean it....this world's really getting hornier by the day!! All you can see at Bandra Fort is couples making out....behind dupattas! And if you're standing in a make-out free corner with your friends, the dogs come to chase you out!! What is this...some kind of Natural Selection to weed out singles?!?!?! You see making out couples everywhere...parking lot of malls, roads (yes...try walking on Carter Road sometime!), rickshaws, movie theatres...!!! 

Just recently I had been to one of the malls for some fieldwork for my Retail Management project....and when we parked the car in the parking lot, the car next to us had a couple making out! I had only heard about it...but never really seen it, so I decided to not look away from the making-out couple.... if they're shameless enough to do it in a public place, I'm shameless enough to peek too! And to me shock, the making out girl looked back at me and smiled!!! Now, I was embarrassed, when I think it should've been the other way round! But thinking money-wise, I think making-out in a parking lot is the cheapest! For just 40 bucks, you can be there all compared to a minimum of 300 bucks if you go to a movie theatre...which would be only for 3 hours*! This is if you're looking for some privacy while making out...! If you want it totally free....ask the rickshaw person to take you to Bandra Fort (you can get extra making-out time in the rick as well!) And instead of analyzing Customer Touch Points at a Mall, here I am analyzing Making-Out Points in the City!! So much for being have so much time for yourself to wonder about all the non-nonsensical things in the world!! 

* If you go for a movie like What's Your have have four and a half....(or was it five)hours for 300 bucks! I had a couple make out right in the seat next to me when I went for this excuse of a movie!

These days, I even see school kids make out in rickshaws!! And one survey I read somewhere said that the average age an Indian loses his/her virginity is 19!!!!!!! At 19 all I was romancing was Salmonella and Shigella! I'm dreading to think what would my kids do! I really hope I don't have a Juno at home! Talking of surveys, my friend Ajay, told me about this survey Durex had conducted worldwide and it found out that Indian women are the most experimental ones in bed!!! Now, that's something new!! I thought Indian women were all shy and coy!!!! I asked a couple of friends as to who are the best men in bed....and I got an unequivocal answer to that - French Men! But then, again I've read somewhere that 65% of French people don't brush their teeth!!! So, now my next wondering mission is to wonder how French Kissing came into existence!! 

Of late, I've become a Sex and The City addict!! I finished 2 seasons in 3 days!!! 30 episodes!!! And I so love Carrie Bradshaw.....she's so much like me!!!!! Trust me, if I'm single till 30..... I'm gonna be her (minus the casual sex part ofcourse!!) The series is you a lotta gyaan on love, life, sex and men ofcourse!!! Even in here....all the four of them, on an average have a new sleeping partner in every episode!!! 

I think, I'm the last one the the 16th century remains who believes in monogamy!!! Because I hardly see people who seem to echo my opinions!! I'm not one of those dogmatic people who believes that sex is taboo, but then go on to have 6 kids by the time they're 40.... all I'm saying is that, pre-marital sex is OK, casual sex is okay too (to each his own!).....but only when it's behind closed doors.....and between the two people only. That's why these open making-out couples kind of irritate me!! This is my opinion on sex.....and like I say....if the two people involved are okay with doing whatever they are doing ....fuck the world!! (well, not literally!).

This is just a small tip for guys, if I may.... 
Tip #1: I know it's really difficult for you to read a girl....but before asking your girlfriend for physical intimacy.....try reading her unspoken words and find out if she's really okay with it....or is she doing it to just to please you...! More often than not, it's the latter!!
Tip # 2: (once you start giving tips to guys, there's no end....they're just so plain DUMB!!): If you are/were into casual sex, you are being an asshole of the highest order in wanting a virgin wife!!!!! And if you're my friend, be ready for my feminist rants!!!!
Tip # 3: You'll never know when a woman fakes it!!! (SATC Season 2, episode 4)

Now, this sounded like a typical Carrie Bradshaw column minus the question marks!!!!

P.S: If love is blind, then why is lingerie so popular?!? 


Arshat Chaudhary said...

lol! Awesome post... :)

Some corrections...
1. Indians lose their virginity by 17. Thats the rule.

2. Stop watching Sex and the city if you want a guy. You know how they say girls can sense if a boy wants to get in her pants? It's the same with men. We can sense if you have been watching too much of Sex and the city or other such "unapproved stuff". Yes, we dont approve of these series. We allow you to watch it coz it keeps u occupied :P

3. No self respecting man should "ask" his girl if she is ready. Men should take it slowly but surely. :)

Awesome post btw.. so raw.. direct from the heart :)

Nupur said...

@ Arshat : Thanks!!
1. Mumbai Mirror said 19...!!!

2. That sounded like such an MCP comment....which will not go down well with a feminist!!! Anyways, like you said, India is 'doing it' at 17....I'm just 'watching' SATC at 22!!!

3. That was a good tip!

Aamir Ayubi said...

Nice one :)

i personally feel that the reason most of the couples make out in the "public places" is lack of privacy in a space congested city like ours.
just a thought :)

Nupur said...

@ Aamir : I know.... but then, I needed something to be belabored on my blog!!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you, that was extremely valuable and interesting...I will be back again to read more on this topic.

Anonymous said...

Very Interesting!
Thank You!

flipped.... said...

Nice one, but i'll tell you what, not every guy is lookin for casual sex!
And yes. You say casual sex is alright, really miss? What things are you really trying to convey! Haha...
Too many comments cant do it from the phone!

Nupur said...

@ Dhaval : I said, to each his own... I'm not advocating casual sex!

Anonymous said...

Awesome blog, I had not noticed before in my searches!
Carry on the superb work!

ankit said...

nice 1!!!!!!!!!!

Love is blind not lust! so u need lingerie!!!!!!!!!

Nupur said...

@ Ankit : That's Ajay's line!!

Anonymous said...

hey nupur
well "carrie bradshaw" in ur post made me read the whole of ur post..n m so glad that i did.. wow..i mean i was wondering if meenakshi iyer was the only literary marvel in indian literature(fuh-get abt shobha)who had the guts to say such things..but u wr sooooooper good..i really liked reading it as i have the same opinion "to each his own"..all along i was thinking that you have blurted out what i possibly have been whispering in my gfs ears.. cheers to ur guts nupur..u r the "ATTAGIRL".. :)

Nupur said...

@ Heena : Thank you!!