October 26, 2010

There's Something About Love!!!

As kids, we read about it in fairytales, as teens/tweens, we read it in the Twilight series.... that there'll be one day when there'll be a knight(vampire) in shining armour who will come and sweep you off your feet and take you with him on his white horse(shiny silver Volvo) to a castle far far away for a lifetime of happily ever after. And since that day, you've been dreaming of the perfect day with the perfect guy in the perfect white dress.

You're one of the lucky few to fall in love with a non-jerk guy who's head over heels for you, who'd do just about anything to see a smile on your face, but you still can't have your happily-ever-after with him. Why? Because you forgot that you, who prays at a temple can't marry a guy who offers his prayers at a mosque. Because you eat dhokla and he eats dosa.... so your parents don't want you two to marry because they're concerned with what your kids would eat and where they would pray!

Since May, all I'm seeing is one after another relationship falling apart. Seen about 6 break-ups, and half of them are because the guy was a jerk who cheated on his all-loving girlfriend(I have numbers and live examples, so all you people who'd rush to say that I'm being a feminist may well shut their traps!), and the other half was due to the fact that there's no future for an inter-caste marriage in India. Not yet. Not even in the 21st century!! The most funny part that I can see in this situation is that this generation of ours is the guinea pig of all cultural transitions.Because we're obedient enough to break up our relationships for our parents......but I don't think our kids are going to be that obedient!!!!!

I love and respect what parents do for their kids, but this is the only aspect of the American culture that I prefer over its Indian counterpart. Having the right to choose our own life partners. And I think this tendency comes from the fact that we Indians are too used to be spoon-fed. Be it at home, where we have our Moms clearing up after us, teachers giving us question banks before exams, loving girl-friends to do assignments, we just love being spoon-fed. That's why this entire arranged marriage concept worked for so long. I'm not against this concept.....I'm just against it being forced on people who've found their partners themselves.

People also say that why fall in love with a person you know you can't have a future with? The answer to it is simple.... LOVE. There's something about it that makes you forget the world. Even your rationale that tells you you're gonna get hurt real bad one day. Maybe your ego and superego go to sleep...and it's only your Id that's working....which needs instant gratification.....which is the person you're in love with! There was this interesting article I read online, which spoke on the same lines. You can read it here. Also, a long time back I had this debate with a friend as to which is a more powerful emotion.....love or hate. Being an incurable and hopeless romantic, I said it's love and my friend disagreed and gave me a very good example of hate being the more powerful of two and she said, that's what explains, the brainwashing of recruits while training them for the so-called  jehad, and I didn't have a counter argument to her then, but now, after witnessing certain things in 3D life, I have the perfect example to fight back! Sample this. Your ex, just after 2 months of break up with you starts seeing a new chick while you still spend nights crying over him. So you hate the new bitch he's with. You hate her not because she's a low life or whatever..... you hate her only because you still fucking love your ex and maybe she's fucking him!! You wouldn't have cared about this low-life bitch had you had a new arm-candy to yourself, isn't it?? Point proved. One-all, Aanchal!

When I spoke about inter-castes to my Mom, she said, that they don't work because there's a cultural difference between the two people that would come into action once the honeymoon period of the relationship is over. The point is valid till some extent, but, I think people from this generation, you and me, we are from the same culture.Let's call it the Facebook culture. I think our parents' culture is different, and they'll never understand our need to Facebook and our Facebook culture! And in the Facebook culture, all that matters is that you're in a relationship.....with whom? No one cares!! And just like Facebook, it would be so cool if you could block your profile and lives selectively from all the prying aunts!!

P.S : I know this was a sensitive topic, and my views could've been blasphemous to many, but, I don't give a rat's ass!!

P.P.S: For people who've not noticed, I've boycotted talking to people who remembered my birthday but didn't CALL ME to wish because they were either travelling or sleeping when I called to remind them to wish me. I am upset and angry!!


Samudra said...

While I agree with most of what you say, there is one point I would like to make.
You say that we are the "facebook generation". That we dont care about our old culture. I dont think that is a good idea.
Think about it. Something that has been build over hundreds of generations, if not thousands, our "facebook generation" is losing it in only one generation. Us not maintaining our culture leaves a void, which gives opportunities to organizations like Shiv Sena and Ram Sene to exercise their brand of culture "protection".
I have nothing against inter-caste or inter-religion marriages. But they are not easy, because the people involved in the marriage (parents, relatives and of course the couple themselves) take this feeling of "having to protect their own culture" to an unacceptable level, to the point where it becomes a case of "us vs. them". This is not really a question of "us vs. them", but maintaining our own identity as Indians, Punjabis, Gujratis, Bengalis, Tamilians, Manipuris or whatever.
I have seen 3 inter-religion marriages so far. One succeeded. Two failed (one in the US and one in India). But the anatomy of the failures were the same - intolerance.

Nupur said...

@ Samudra : Correction: I never said that the 'Facebook Generation' doesn't care about our old culture...it does, that's why the relationships I mentioned broke apart because they didn't want to disrespect their elders by eloping....which I think is respecting our Indian culture.There will obviously be a void if there's a cultural transition happening.....this is the 'Generation Gap' that we see. Like it or not, but every generation is moving a little away from our old Indian culture.And Darwin's laws come into play here.... adapt or you'll go extinct... What has happened to Ram Sene now? Didn't it garner a lotta public back lash for its stupidity? And about Shiv Sena, because they've run out of pertinent topics to fight about, they're going around trying to gag citizens with voices.
And about the marriages you saw, those were unfortunate incidents. But, I think, if a couple has a lot of love and understanding between them, they can definitely tide over differences in two families.And I'm sure there must have been more than just religious intolerance that broke those marriages. I rest my case!

Aamir Ayubi said...

@Nupur: This indeed is a sensitive topic!
All I want to say is that no one really cares about this (a la MJ's All I wanna say is that...) It's a personal choice and personal prejudices will win!!!

Nupur said...

@ Aamir: I know it's a senstivie topic.... all I was trying to say was to let everyone live his/her life the way they want....even if they're making mistakes, they'll learn from it!

left unseen yet seen because.... said...

@nupur: only one strong belief...whoever said u fall in love jus once was frm our parents culture...wether we fall in love with jerks and brk up or brk up becus of other issues...bottom line...FIrst love cannot be forgotten..and second last bottom line...there is a perfect person..who satisfies all the paramenters waiting for u..all u need to hav is the...Fire to FALL IN LOVE..

i hav prejudices myself...but wont be imposing them on my kids.cus i know its gonna be futile..

ankit said...

hey the "facebook generation" exists only in metros.......so u cant generalize for the remainin ppl of our entire generation!!!!!!!!!!