February 6, 2011

Believito Ergo Sum

*My first attempt to imitate Carrie Bradshaw's writing style!!*

People who know me, know one thing about me...that I'm a person who has some really strong opinions in life. If I believe in something, nothing ever will be able to shake my belief in it. I believed in fairytale romance and one broken relationship later, I still do. I still believe that one day there'll be a Prince Charming Edward Cullen coming to sweep me off my feet and give me the fairytale romance that I have always believed in. Life, I think is all about beliefs, hope and faith. In either of God or karma and most importantly, yourself. 

I have seen that as we grow up, we become increasingly scared of things. As kids, we were never scared of running with our laces untied, even though we knew from previous bitter experiences that its outcome was always wounded knees. But as we grow up, one bitter experience scars us for life and we never try it again, calling it imbecile behavior or rather simply put, not learning from previous mistakes! Most people reading this post have studied Probability and you know that events in a person's life are random events and mathematically, the probability of occurrence of no two random events is the same! 

OK, I'll cut the circumlocution and come straight to the point. The point I'm trying to make in this post is that why are we so scared of another relationship after a previous failed one. Why do we get so cynical and negative about life and love? So pessimistic that nothing ever will go right in our lives and not realize it even when Mr. Right is knocking, forget knocking, pounding on our door, waiting for us to break those walls we've built around us to let him in and thaw our frozen heart? Why are we so scared to take a small leap of faith?

The main reason for me writing this post is that I feel so disappointed when I see my friends behave cynically in life. Call it luck or whatever, all, and I mean ALL the people I've ever counselled or come close to have been the biggest cynics and pessimists of the world, and I'm the exact opposite! And if I were to bill them per hour for giving them positivity lectures, I'd be able to buy myself a diamond mine in Africa by now! Why don't you just fucking believe that something good will happen to you? And this is not Rhonda Brynes talking out of The Secret, this is me talking out of years of believing and surviving events that have crushed those beliefs and somehow  coming back to believing again. It's not as difficult as understanding Calculus!

Do you know how vaccines are made and what they're made of? Vaccines are nothing more than a small dosage of the disease causing organism attenuated (weakened) and then given to us so that our body starts making antibodies, in small quantities to fight the organism. So when, there is a real infection where tens of thousands of these microbes attack you at once, your body is well prepared to combat the attack because your body knows exactly how to make the required antibody....it won't then, try permutations and combinations of various types to make the perfect antibody while you're sick and suffering.This is how you survive without even realizing that you're body has already dealt with a high risk organism. A failed relationship/heartbreak is a vaccine preparing you for what could be worse in life. Maybe you'll never catch the infection for which you've been vaccinated for, but if you do, you'll know exactly how to deal with it. You won't spend time and energy trying out permutations and combinations of things then! 

Earlier, I said that life is about beliefs, hope and faith...but I was wrong. Life is about  beliefs, hope, faith and a perspective that'll align the other three in a way that would make sense to you and add a meaning to your life.

P.S : Had written this years back and in the middle of these cheesy and corny lines, I hope you find something that may make you start believing again.

P.P.S : This post is dedicated to Manalee and Rucha ..... You've heard it earlier, but listen to it again, "Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope."


Demure_me said...

give up your job! start writing a book on relationships! ;)

Nupur said...

@ Radhika : Thank you!! If someone's gonna offer me a seven figure salary, then I don't mind!! Any publishers listening??

nirav said...

Sorry to say but i dnt agree with ur philosophy :( ..... but u really write well !!

samudra said...

You have too many PS's, PPS's, PPPS's. :P

Interesting analogy with the vaccines and heartbreaks.

A passage from the Godfather comes to mind. Dont remember the character's name - the nephew who was the hollywood actor... he says this once abt women- "i know they will hurt me, cause me pain. But I can either love them, or I can hate them. I choose to love them."

Mansi said...

I can't tell you how indebted I am to read this post at this time...thanks!

T@her Bp said...

Very well written Miss Bhayani!!!
Really liked the way u ended the post on HOPE reminds me of the movie Shawshank Redemption!
I can relate to the para whr ur talkin abt the permutations combinations that one will not require to do after a heartbreak when you again get into a relationship coz you know exactly what is the OUTPUT of all that mathematical calculations!

buckingfastard said...

the main idea is to learn from ur mistakes...not learn to run away from the problem altogether... but its hard to learn from mistakes and put up a brave front when u kno how much it is gonna hurt the second time....

anticipation of pain is painful than pain