March 23, 2010

The New 'ME'

I'm so happy that my olden days are back. Days when I used to get up in the middle of the night to blog. It's one of those nights today. One that has come after a really long time. I don't know why but I think I've really lost that 'touch' I had in writing. My blogs aren't the same, my stories seem the same....there's nothing new in it. I guess I've gone stale! I don't even feel like reading these days. The last book I read was way back in July last year and I remember returning 18 books half read since then. I'm on my way to return the 19th unread one. Feels like I've broken up with Reading and Writing!


Speaking about break ups, I saw three break ups in two days! One of me breaking up with one of my best friends and two of two of my friends. I really don't know if you call parting ways with your friend as 'break up' but that's the simplest term I could come up with. It's not easy to let go of people that are so fucking close to you....but I guess, sometimes, you really need to stand up for what you think is right even if the entire world labels it as WRONG. I've always admired Geet when she said in Jab We Met, "Meri zindagi jaise hain, main jaanti hoon ki mere wajah se hain, kal uthke main kisiko blame nahi karna chahti ki jee tumhare wajah se meri zindagi barbaad ho gayi" I think this is the best dialogue I've ever heard in my life. And the best piece of philosophy. And it needs a freaking amount of guts to do that. I didn't have it till now, but now I'm gathering it to live my life the way I want, even if means hurting a few people on the way. They may think it's intentional....but it's not.....it's just coming of age. Or more bluntly, it's just living my life for me. Not having to give explanations to people. If they get it fine, if not, forget about it. I don't know what the repercussions of my decision will be.....good or bad.... but I'll never blame anyone for whatever happened to me....not even myself. But I hope one day, people will be able to see my point of view first and not try to influence me to go be theirs. Someone told me that the only problem with me is that I listen to what others have to say about me more than what I have to say about me.....so, just trying to prove people wrong here! Trying to being a new 'me'. And I don't think that's wrong.

It's so surprising that love is a thing that gets people close. The two of my friends who broke up (2 disparate break-ups) were not my best friends, but definitely people whom I really care about. Close enough that I got goosebumps when I heard both the stories! One story makes me hate all Indians for having a bias for Hindu-Muslim relationships and the other one makes me hate all men and their philandering ways.....why can't you dogs stick to one girl who's given so much to you....you don't have to return the favour of what all she's done for you by cheating on her! There are only two kind of men whom I can't personally ever forgive.....rapists and cheaters. Men really are dogs. And this isn't a polite way to call women bitches!

Watching a chick-flick can be such a stress reliever at times! After 2 days of stress, I saw Sex And The City: The Movie, and I truly enjoyed it! It was clich├ęd, banal, hackneyed and all the synonyms dictionary.com has to offer for 'repetitive', but it's that kinda movie which can lift up a girl's spirits! So, am off now, to avoid banging with the table on my way out, have a good night....err....Good Morning. I'm sure it's morning by the time you read this. Adios!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Welcome back Nupur. We missed you. Never thought that your are so strong enough to break a friendship more stronger than fevical but kudos dear there must be a valid reason . I love the way you put your mind on paper ... waiting for a book published on your name in the near future .. hope you will sign one and give it to me :) (will pay for the book ;-)

Ravindra Merthi said...

a lot of time needed to complete 14 chapters wide story...but i will do that.

i guess Nupur = Pearl So u found thet inside urs...congrts for tht

PS: All men r nt same.

Samudra said...

Wohowhoow!! Easy with the generalizations!
Its not all men who cheat. My first gf cheated on me.. after 2 years of being together.
I have since realized one thing though.. that its not only 1 person's fault. U have 2 be good enough that the other person does not think abt cheating.
About breaking up with friends, while I agree sticking to your convictions is important, I also believe keeping your friends close is very important too. If you have a disagreement, IMHO, agreeing to disagree is way better than breaking up with them. Of course, there are scenarios when this is not possible.. but breaking up with true friends should be the very very last option.

Hope you succeed in living your life the way you want it.. and to the fullest!

Anonymous said...

I don't completely agree with your view point on cheating. My bf cheated on me after being together for 3 years. I am hurt about the incident but haven't lost hope because i hadn't done anything to spoil this relationship. I know I gave more than what it takes to make a relationship work. So till sincere women like us exist, sincere men 'might' also exist. Maybe someone, just like me, who is willing to give his best to make a relationship work. Not all men are dogs. Good men still (hopefully) exist on this planet and since I am a hopeless romantic, my search for Mr. Right is STILL on :-)

Keep posting!

arshat.chaudhary said...

Not to support men who cheater or stuff... But, there something wrong with the woman too (and vice-versa, if the woman cheats on the man)

Only men are biologically pardonable for this crime, though socially it just goes to show that they are horny bastards (and their women werent accommodating enough of their desires..) So there..

Yes, I am a pro-man...

Pavitra .... said...

i completely agree with you when it comes to men...cheaters and rapists...the two most horrible things anyone can ever do....
And men are NOT biologically pardonable to this one...Its disgusting...
I love the dialogue too....gives a good feeling doesn't it..?

ankit said...

relationships n friends i think hv started dominating most part our lives. also the ease of giving ur piece of mind to an inanimate object (read:social networking sites, blogs, twitter, etc) hv decreasd the accountability of the content posted by a person. also this in a way decreases your guts 2 gv an in-a-face answer to the respective person. u hv nw got enough diversions for your anger and frustrations that physical being of a person has become obdurate.

think bout it!!!!!!!!!