The New 'ME'

I'm so happy that my olden days are back. Days when I used to get up in the middle of the night to blog. It's one of those nights today. One that has come after a really long time. I don't know why but I think I've really lost that 'touch' I had in writing. My blogs aren't the same, my stories seem the same....there's nothing new in it. I guess I've gone stale! I don't even feel like reading these days. The last book I read was way back in July last year and I remember returning 18 books half read since then. I'm on my way to return the 19th unread one. Feels like I've broken up with Reading and Writing!

Speaking about break ups, I saw three break ups in two days! One of me breaking up with one of my best friends and two of two of my friends. I really don't know if you call parting ways with your friend as 'break up' but that's the simplest term I could come up with. It's not easy to let go of people that are so fucking close to you....but I guess, sometimes, you really need to stand up for what you think is right even if the entire world labels it as WRONG. I've always admired Geet when she said in Jab We Met, "Meri zindagi jaise hain, main jaanti hoon ki mere wajah se hain, kal uthke main kisiko blame nahi karna chahti ki jee tumhare wajah se meri zindagi barbaad ho gayi" I think this is the best dialogue I've ever heard in my life. And the best piece of philosophy. And it needs a freaking amount of guts to do that. I didn't have it till now, but now I'm gathering it to live my life the way I want, even if means hurting a few people on the way. They may think it's intentional....but it's not.....it's just coming of age. Or more bluntly, it's just living my life for me. Not having to give explanations to people. If they get it fine, if not, forget about it. I don't know what the repercussions of my decision will be.....good or bad.... but I'll never blame anyone for whatever happened to me....not even myself. But I hope one day, people will be able to see my point of view first and not try to influence me to go be theirs. Someone told me that the only problem with me is that I listen to what others have to say about me more than what I have to say about me.....so, just trying to prove people wrong here! Trying to being a new 'me'. And I don't think that's wrong.

It's so surprising that love is a thing that gets people close. The two of my friends who broke up (2 disparate break-ups) were not my best friends, but definitely people whom I really care about. Close enough that I got goosebumps when I heard both the stories! One story makes me hate all Indians for having a bias for Hindu-Muslim relationships and the other one makes me hate all men and their philandering ways.....why can't you dogs stick to one girl who's given so much to you....you don't have to return the favour of what all she's done for you by cheating on her! There are only two kind of men whom I can't personally ever forgive.....rapists and cheaters. Men really are dogs. And this isn't a polite way to call women bitches!

Watching a chick-flick can be such a stress reliever at times! After 2 days of stress, I saw Sex And The City: The Movie, and I truly enjoyed it! It was clichéd, banal, hackneyed and all the synonyms dictionary.com has to offer for 'repetitive', but it's that kinda movie which can lift up a girl's spirits! So, am off now, to avoid banging with the table on my way out, have a good night....err....Good Morning. I'm sure it's morning by the time you read this. Adios!