September 26, 2010

The Aftermath Of Being Horny!!!

One of the advantages of being jobless and having nothing constructive to do is that you have a lot of free time to analyze a lot of non-consequential things. Like I did my research on the increasing horniness in society (both human society as well as the pigeon society.... the horny pigeon couple has still hijacked my room and they refuse to leave!!!) . So what happens when there's increased horniness in the society.... especially when seen in the backseat of cars in the parking lot of malls?? It's like children in the backseat cause accidents....and, accidents in backseat cause....children!!! So, my next analyzing mission was to find out how kids are gonna weigh you down...monetarily! So, while waiting for a friend to come, my friends, Ajay, Manshi and me were roaming around Food Bazaar (yes, only losers like us wait for other people at Food Bazaar!!)  and that's where the fieldwork of this research happened! 

A packet of Pampers (66 diapers) cost you Rs.560. And depending on the bladder size of your kid, you'll spend accordingly! Then, a bar of Johnson's baby soap costs you Rs.43! Yes, just one soap is fucking 43 bucks!! And Baby Shampoo (200ml) is Rs.230! So all the people good at Maths, kindly do the math and let me know how much I would be spending on my kid when I get one!! You can't expect 3 Biotech grads to do Maths. The results are going to be blasphemous! Ajay and Manshi tried to calculate the price of a single diaper and they got the answer as 47 Rs. And I have no clue on Earth how they got 560/66  = 47!! I'm really worried about their monthly budgets when they start running a house!! And this is a real story!! I've not exaggerated it!! So moving forward, when you're going to put your kids in school, the yearly fees in Eurokid playschool is 20000-40000 pa depending on the area ( source - the 69 slide presentation on Franshise Models in my Retail lecture!) ! Add to that the monthly EMIs that you'd be paying for your house, car,diamonds gifted to wife on various anniversaries that keep cropping up every fortnight (you cannot NOT gift diamonds to your wife on anniversaries....because you'll just end up being an ass who paid for that amazing bed in your bedroom and yet sleeps on the couch....!), summer vacation, EMIs taken for paying back previous EMIs.... hope you're getting my point.... I always knew you were smart!! 

Ajay, finally frustrated by all the miscalculations, said that a 90 Rs Ipill is the best option for mankind! And, I think he's wrong here too. I don't know how much a condom costs, but am sure it'll be cheaper than 90 bucks!!! But, jokes apart, girls, please don't use the pill like its Mentos or something! The one thing missing in these Ipill type of ads is the warning that they're supposed be used sparingly....only in emergencies....and most importantly....Ipills are NOT substitutes to condoms!! I once had a friend crying to me because she took two Ipills in a day and was worried if she's ever have a kid in the future. So after my initial reaction to slap her and curse her jackass boyfriend, I had made a mental note to spread a little awareness about Ipill. It's not a toy, people. You're messing up with a woman's hormones....get the gravity of the situation!!!

So, until I find another inconsequential topic to research on, I'm signing off!! So wake up people....all those who wanted to be woken up when September ended. Please don't kill me for that joke.... it happens to me whenever the effect of my humour-pill reduces!!!

P.S : The parking lot of the Food Bazaar we went in charged only 5 bucks an hour.... so all you bravehearts who are not deterred by my post, drive up to Evershine Mall in Malad. I don't know where in Malad it is. You don't ask a girl her age and.....directions!!!

P.P.S : I have a blogpost dedicated to me!!! Yayayayayay!! Read it here. Thanks, Arshat!

5 comments:

Aamir Ayubi said...

@Nupur: When u msgd me to read this post, u told it was 'blasphemous', I think it is practical :)
And YES! Condoms are cheaper, contraceptive pills are for an EMERGENCY...not to be taken monthly like a lot of dumb women do!

Also, liked how you integrated the Green Day song's title in your last para...Reminded me of the days when i used to gym..this was my fav work out song..I'm gonna listen it :) :)

ankit said...

so u still in research, though it may be of a different kind!!!!!! :) :) :)

Nupur said...

@ Aamir : Well, most of the practical things in society are blasphemous in our 'culture' .... deep statement...think about it!

Nupur said...

@ Ankit: Yes, can't shrug off the 'research' gene in me.... if you want a guinea pig for gene silencing, let me know!!

left unseen yet seen because.... said...

m happy u hav got different topics to research uponand to write about in your blogs..GOOD!!