March 26, 2008

SOS! TV cries out!

It was 2000,when a revolution took place...... it wasn't the Y2K bug, it even wasn't the dot com boom, it was the advent of "new" TV shows. Yes it was then when we were introduced to the "saas bahu" soaps! It's been 8 years ever since and these soaps are still going on! Arey yaar itna time toh pyaar bhi nahi tikta!!

This blog is completely dedicated to the current TV scenario which is crying out for help,desperate help! First, I'd like to put some light on the "soaps" ........ why aren't they being called "onions............Maybe due to Ekta's fear on losing out on Jain viewers!! Ok sorry for the bad joke, but none the less I think my joke was better than the jokes cracked on laughter shows! So coming back to the soaps, can someone tell me the logic of wearing such heavy sarees and jewellery at home? Who goes to bed with full make up? I'm sure even Rakhi Sawant must be wiping out her makeup before going to sleep .Her boyfriend,Abhishek is now acclimatised to seeing Rakhi without makeup and her implants........ that's what explains his puppy dog behaviour! I mean who'd take 2,3,4......n slaps from his girl in front of the media? Can't they slap,whip,spank or do whatever behind closed doors? Yeah coming back to out topic(please excuse me for changing tracks .......... I can't talk on one topic for more than 145 secs!!). I'm so glad that the people in these shows are not eligible to be counted in the census! We'd have overtaken China in 2002 itself! But one positive thing coming from the soaps is that it generates employment........ there are so many people aspiring to be lawyers looking at the rates marriages are breaking apart!! But the best thing that I find that people with soooooo many companies are forever working on some or the other project or filling up a tender or contract which always runs up to a few crore rupees. Now, there's nothing unusual in this,it happens in business families, but what definitely doesn't happen it the riches-to-rags story! How can you come to stay in a chawl if somebody buys all your company shares? Don't you have other immovable or other liquid assets?? How many times have we heard an Ambani or Tata coming to stay in a neighbourhood chawl??? Don't these story writers have any sense of economics, or have they lost it along with their logical reasoning?

One soap that I've started watching is "Kuchh Is Tara" ..... how I wish they put the H's in it's proper place, but that's not my point of concern right now...... When I began watching this show my primary concern was jus to find out what genre does it belong to? Is it a saas bahu saga or is it some comedy show? My inference after religiously following this show for 3 weeks is that is a saas bahu show which has actors who overact to the extent that the viewers feel that its a comedy show and not a regular drama! I mean what's with Akashdeep Sehgal and Shanta Tai??? And now as always the hero and heroine have fallen in love....... I'm just counting days before the entry of some third person to make this company a crowd! But the best moment was when there was this lady standing next to the ex-hero(he was the one who was initially supposed to get married to the heroine!)and my mom asked me how she was related to the ex-hero.......looking at their faces and mentally appraising their ages, I thought she must be his wife, but I got the shock of my life when he addressed her as MOM........ she infact looked like his daughter!!!

Another show I'd like to talk about is Roadies that comes on Roadies TV...... oops MTV..... but they show Roadies the whole day, don't they? It seems to me that we had less bitches on saas bahu soaps that MTV got us more. Why do they beep when someone uses invectives? We all know what the say! I'm so glad Ankita and Prabhjyot are out.Ankita didn't know how to talk..... did you see her mouth when she opened it to talk? Ewww...... not happening! And Prabhjyot...... all you Pallavis and Mandiras, take a bow!

Now I come to my favourite bashing targets....... HINDI NEWS CHANNELS.. esp Aaj Tak and India TV!!!I'd like to talk about them in detail about their fixations with
  • Astrology-Can India TV please do something about the black robed baba?He's rather scary....... and so is Star News' Teen Deviya's numerologist... why is she so extra happy and why does she blush so much while reading out predictions....... and someone please tell her Matte lipsticks haven't been used since almost Iron Age!
  • Spreading superstitions. I thought one of media's primary role was to curb them, par mere sochne se kya hota hain?
  • Unwarranted interest in cricketer's love stories and linking any person to any cricketer.Leave Deepika alone! She ain't interested in Yuvi or Mahi!(Thank God they didn't link her with my Irfi!)
  • Children falling down a bore well.I mean why not rather ask the authorities to close all such kind of wells,haven't you learnt enough from the Prince case that you want to have more Vandanas?
  • Animated reactions garnered by ex-unemployed-always-willing-to-give-sound-bytes cricketers whenever we lose or win a match
  • Asking "aapko kaisa mehsus ho raha hain" to any collar they can catch hold of, irrespective of the fact that you might be asking a mother this question who'd have lost her only son in the bomb blast you are covering.
  • Use of extraaaaa adjectives that too in chaste Hindi! We really don't understand 97.68% of them!
  • Predicting Doom's Day........I think so far they've shortlisted about 387556542 dates when it could be Apocalypse... and 37565093 of them have already gone by, and like we all know Earth is in the pink of her health!
  • And most importantly....... What's with their excessive amorous relationship with Khali,the Mahabali!?! He looks so weird and sounds weirder! I really am exasperated looking at a huge creature growling and thumping his chest whenever i switch on my TV.... doesn't he know a lot of people in India suffer from heart ailments and that they may have an attack looking at his antics. Hats off to the girls who are "Khali ki deewani"!!!
  • The only positive from these news channels is that they have reduced showing Baba Ramdev who can cure cancer and diabetes with yoga..... I'm sure all we biotechnologists and pharmacists have nothing better to do that's why we spend years locked up in a lab trying to find out panacea!
I just want to request news channels is to stop showing drama as its high time we saw some actual NEWS!


Saumya said...

man i enjoyed reading this one.. :)

Nupur said...

thanks saumya!